Saturday, December 31, 2011

493. NakCari Kayuuuuuuu...

Pocketeers,
come 12midnight tonight, its the end of a wonderful year,
awaiting a mysterious year the second after.
if they say that every night we have to sleep on our bed
with our hands on our forehead chanting..
'nak cari kayuuuu, nak cari kayuuuuuu'
eh!! silap, to movie lain.

If they say that every night we have to sleep on our bed
with our hand on our forehead thinking what have gone
wrong, what have i achieved for today...
How was today?
Was it better then yesterday?
How to make it better tomorrow?

Then lets do a bigger version tonight people!
How was this year?
Was it better then yesteryear?
How to make it better next year?

This year? well i got the habit of posting daily starting from August,
well there were days that i've skipped.. well what can i say,
some days my mind are just as blunt as the tunggul kayu
infront of my house. Sure hope next year, i can reach 300 post by
31stDec'12!! :D

i've started the DermaDarah Campaign for myself,
am aiming to reach 100times, 4 times a year would required
me to be in full health for another 25 years just to reach 100 times!!
wow!! For those who are wondering how old i am,
lets just put it this way, i may or may not finish this quest ..
before i'll die of old ages:D hahhahahaha

I have tried keeping fishes in the house...
i think i wanna make a business
out of this next year! :D Wish me luck:D

I'm buying an oven!! Hopefully by next year,
i dont have to go to TGI Friday everytime
i'm craving for a beef ribs. Ohh.. any tips on the oven pocketeers?

So what else pocketeers?
What about u guys?
putting it in words rather then letting it trapped inside that
mind of your is definitely better sis :D
its a small step towards making it happen.
changing from thoughts to printed idea^^

Today is the day to reminisce.
As tomorrow its the day to plan.
The day after that... is the day to do

Thursday, December 29, 2011

492. We Got So Much Of That...


Pocketeers,
a joke i heard the other day,
Laugh out loud about it then,
hope it'll do the same to u:D

On a train somewhere in europe
there was a seat where all four
penumpang have to face each other.
An american guy sitting infront
of a malaysian guy,
a colombian guy by his side facing
a bangladeshian.

At first they didnt talk,
they just sat there minding
their own business. But the  colombian
started to talk about his country and
so does the malaysian, bangladeshian
and American... telling a bit of this
and that about where they're from and
where to head for a good charkoeyteow
joint.

But the colombian kept on and on talking
The american couldnt stand the boasting
and over the top 'my-country-is-better-than-yours'
story that he pulled a 100dollar note
and start flashing it infront of everybody.
Now that he got everybodies attention,
he crumpled the money and throw it out
of the train's window.

'We got so much of that, 
i dont mind losing one.eheh'
chuckled the american.

Seing this the colombian just could
not face defeat and so he pulled out
his colombian cigars. It was told that
Colombian cigars can sometime go as
expensive as 2000USD.. ohh. He cut the
cigars butt and start smoking it...
after 3 to 4 puff of smoke exhaled,
he just threw away the cigars..
off the train.

'we got so much of that,
i dont mind losing one.'
he smiled his cynical smile
looking at the american.

The malaysian and the bangladeshian starts
to look at each other and hastily searching
inside their bag for something expendable.
The American and Colombian just out of
curiosity, waited.
smiling..
oh what is expendable in malaysia and bangladesh?

..and then the Malaysian stand up.
everybody looked up at him.
wahh so strong and healthy this guy is.
what is he going to do?

He grab the bangladeshian guy
by the collar and threw him
through the open train window.
'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!' 
fading screams acompanying
the malaysian macho face.
He didnt look back at how the
Bangladeshian land..

THe american and colombian was numb-struck
by this just looked at the malaysian,
hoping that he himself could explain
his action.

With his thumb pointing to
the back of the train he said...
'We got so much of that,
i dont mind losing one'







heheheheh...
kalau ada bangladeshian baca ni,
jangan mara yer :D just a joke ^^

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

491. TebalTebalKulitSawa



Ima ke kaunter hardware store,
nak beli cat nippon paint.
'so nak cat rumah yer, 
cik buleh pilih kaler dulu. 
Besar mana dinding yang nak cat tu?' 
tanya staff cik Farid kita..

'dalam 12 kaki panjang, 
6 kaki tinggi jer..' jawab ima
dengan mata terus memandang katalog
warna.

'ooo, kalau gitu 2 tin cukup, 
just make sure jangan tebal sangat.. 
sudah lah'

'kenapa?' tanya ima kembali menatap
wajah farid, tangan terus menyelak
katalog warna cat.

Farid menyambung..
'ada dua sebab tuu, 
satu sebab nanti takut cat tak cukup, 
satu lagi sebab.. kalau sapu tebal nanti... 
takut bilik jadi kecik sikit..'












heheheh :D





ooih!! cat tu tebalnyer sekaki keerr!!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

490. RumahTangga...

Pocketeers,
Monday Blues Post...
...even though today its Tuesday.

'Ima.. you.... dah berumahtangga belum?' tanya Farid takut takut.
'belum... ' long pause looking outside at the pakcik yang sapu lantai.
'...well actually berrumah tu dah, tangga nya belum.' sambung Ima.
'eh?' Farid senyum, mengharapkan jawapan metaphor positif untuk
berselingkuh.
'sebab i beli rumah singgle storey jeerr.. beli tangga besi RM120 tu 
buleh kira berRUMAH TANGGA tak?'
'......'



so pocketeers, how is your monday blues?
:D

Monday, December 26, 2011

489. People'sMisery...


Pocketeers,
tell me..
Since when is it that knowing people's
misery would make u feel better?

Why pocket! that question is easy!
-when u come to know that he who took
your girl got run down by an 18 tyres
truck, and now living through a mechanical
paru paru using his Socso or insurance
money down to the pit and his family
is now considering to pull the plug.
Wow!! i'd say that i'll be happy to hear that of course!!
oh but that is just happy for the
vengeance right? OK, wrong description.

-when the father who ditched your mother
for another small frame bimbo 23 years ago,
leaving your mother to trudge the strong
current of life alone by herself,
that father was found dead recently and
left u with some EPF money and a piece of
land for u to 'parang-parang' over.
why? who would'nt be happy? Money Money Money!
Oh but that is just happy for the money right?
So that u can pay the HBO and a grand livina..
ok.. wrong again.

Both of the description above is wrong.

What i meant was, when ever u tell your husband
or your BF or simply the ear-dat-listen that
u had the worst week,
5 interviews and still nothing,
the bonus is too less,
your 'God-Blessed-Deformed-Leg' is aching,
or you just simply had a bad hair day...

..and the advise they gave to you was to sabar
and they remind u about other people's misery...
'ko tahu, kat somalia sana lagi teruk hidup diorang'
'5 interbiew? weh, si samad yang tak cukup 10 tu,
dah gi 50 interbiew tahun nih, dok tanam anggur gitu gak'
'kira ok gak ko dapat gak, aku tak dapat langsung!!'
'ko bayangkan orang yg tak der kaki, camner?'
'ko bayang orang yang tak der rambut.. camner?'
(CikBolat jangan angkat tangan, kamu masih berambut)

ever had those kinda nasihat?
yes yes, i know all about bersyukur and thanking god
bout what we have and blessed with. Yes i know!

..but psychologically speaking, telling people
that his life is not that bad by comparing
to other's misery is not that much of a good
advise dont u think?

Why do I have to care about u not getting your bonus?
u'r rich enough with your monthly salary.

If people's heartbroken can be soothe by hearing
other's misery, then put the picture of those
people who die of starvation on the dining hall.
and serve your son and daughters a 400gm of nasi,
with a piece of ayam masak merah no bigger then
Your thumbdrive. 'Bersyukur lah, orang kat somalia
sana nuu laaagi tak der makanan'
pour them another bowl of gravy sis!!
ooih!!

..and when u'r signing them off to a public school
that have the worst SPM Passing rate in the state,
tell them about those who never made it to school,
never made it to PMR even.. so that they would be
grateful. At least they made it to school.


kan?
In advising people, it has become too common
for people to compare our nasib with those
who are less fortunate ..
and we're suppose to feel good about this why?

Sunday, December 25, 2011

488. Ngarut Nya Cinta..

Pocketeers,
sesekali pocket nak mengarut..
then kamu mesti nak tanya..
'kenaper? selama ni tak cukup mengarut lagi ker?'
iyer la.. ni kira lagi mengarut okeh..

pocket rasa pocket jatuh chenta
ngan Kim Possible nih la!
buleh tak? ala buleh laaaa...

suar baggy nyer..
senyuman nyer..
pusat tu tak la bekenan sangat.
flat chest nyer..
talipinggang longgar tu menarik.
muka bulat nyer...
rambut merah lagi panjangnyerr..
attitude? kena tengok katun nyer baru buleh tahu kan.
talk about tengok katunnyer..
suara nyaa..
dengusan nya..
serak serak dihujung ayat nyaaa..
adehlaaa..

cuti pocket is full of her youtube.
so sapa yang fit the above description,
sila angkat tangan

(CikBolat, kamu baru potong rambut, so letak tangan tu)

Saturday, December 24, 2011

487. OhBapak ku..


Pocketeers,
Yesterday night i get to see
this movie.. Finally :D
am luving it the whole way!!

..and starting from now on,
i'm going to declare that
TomKruz adalah bapak pocket :D
if he ever going to die,
i'll be there on his death bed
with suri hoping for his harta.
hahahah..

Okeh, pocket merapu.. sori.
(Disclaimer, above ayat is
Saturday-Working-Blues sentences.
do not take it seriously^^)
anyway..

A few things i want to point out.
its not my bapak's fault, its the writer's.

1) Diamonds for payment,
dont u wanna put them in trays
for easy verification of the
ammount and authenticity?
i mean its easier to know that
there was 30pcs of diamonds
if it was in trays with separate
slots for each and every one dont
u think?

2) The BMW that my bapak crashed
was not equiped with any security
that EthanHunt can start itwithout
any fuss.

3) Barang barang IMF tak leh harap.
glove abih bateri lah,
cat nak buat face mask abih lah,
talipon kena ketuk dulu baru 'self-distruct' lah

4) Countdown ... in any case...
is not helping :D

5) Mak oih baju heroin kitaaaaaaa
masa kat parti di india tuuuuu..
adehhh!

6) Pocket still rasa awek yang jatuh
bangunan tu lagi hot

7) Pengarah memang suka bagi TomKruz sakit.
kira cam hero hindustan lah kan.
kena langgar la dalam ribut pasir,
kepala sangkut masa nak masuk bilik
dari luar burj khalifa,
jatuh atas keter pun terhantuk kepala
lah.. adehaaaiii.

8) EthanHunt jauh lagi muda dari pakcik
jahat tu, tapi still tak sempat nak ligan?
kat rusia tak sempat,
dlm ribut tak sempat,
kat india pun tak sempat. kenapa?

ada lagi nak kata,
tapi macam tak sesuai n panjang dah la plak..
so off the pocket doing his work on a fine
saturday morning.
PestaPenangJom!

Friday, December 23, 2011

485. Random Post

Random post.

1) Monster, dinasour, musuh ultraman,
Dalam bahasa melayunya 'raksasa' kan?
 Ke 'raksaksa'?

Pasal rasa kalau sebut mcm 'raksaksa' je.
 Ohh.

2) Paranoid adalah perasaan tak senang duduk telebih lebih
merisaukan keselamatan, kejayaan, kenakalan dan juga jenayah.
 'kang MC tak dapat kang, kita makan durian manyak sikit lah!
bg badan ni panas sikit!'

'awek aku sampai ke tak lagi tu? talipon lagi lah'
biarpun 3 minit lepas dah tepon.

'kang kalau aku sigong, mahu menjerit ni,
nak sigong ke tak? Nak sigong ke tak?'
 (post lepas nye klip.)

N Pocket yg menyamar sebagai pondan hanya kerana
takut kantul masa tgk ghost protocol dengan cuti MC
adalah paranoid telebih lebih kan? Hehe

3) Pocket selalu bersangka buruk dengan titisan titisan air
di dinding toilet awam. Makcik cleaner basuh dinding kalu
takper la, kalau 'air' lain?

Eii welkh!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

485. Winning Or Losing


Pocketeers, an emotional post.
i have wrote something like this before,
here i am posting about it again.

This life is a game,
there is not such thing as 'fair',
nothing that spelled near as 'same',
or 'good' and 'bad'.
Its about winning.. and losing.

You ask a guy,
'oh so u have a blog?
how is the traffic?'
'well about 120unique a day' was his
answer and u smile 'oh good!'
while inside your heart, u thought..
in blogging comparing to this loser..
'i won!'

u went and cut the line for people who
waited to use the ATM machine, U hold
up your hand asking for permission,
the old lady was nice enough to smile
and let u cut.
U smile back,
while inside your heart, u thought...
'i won'
i have taken a short cut in getting
my money today and this makcik... lost

u were walking with her and
intentionally u've 'sigong'
her chest. She gave a short shriek
and yelled 'hoi! aper ni!!' in full
furious of the mother dragon who
have red blazing fire as her hair
she got angry at you. U apologize
and told her it was an accident.
For what it matter, u didnt felt
anything.
Pujuk punya pujuk, rayu punya rayu..
Due to love and the fact that
no one else can send her home, she
accepted your apology. And off u go
holding hands like u'r suppose to.
U smiled, she smiled back..
u thought..
'I won'
... in a game of asking for apology
for what i did that clearly is wrong,
she lost


He hit u again, hit u hard this time,
a few bruises on your shoulder, a swollen
finger and a cut in your upper lips.
U thought u had it this time,
u'll leave him this time...
But he beg for mercy,
kneeling by the front door
putting his hand together,
asking for forgiveness.
U fall for those 'kesian' eyes
just like puss in boots.
u say 'OK'
he say 'sorry'
He smiled...


484. Melting Point...



.. is a temperature at which a
solid changes state from solid
to liquid. (Wikipedia)

...is basically a point where
the bond between particle breaks
down and thus changes its form
with the help of external force.
(Pocket-ikut-suka-ati-dia)

Bond : perokok
Particle 1: man
particle 2: cigarete
external force:
Kempen kerajaan yang halus mulus
bagaikan angin meniup telinga
dipetang ari,
makian atau teguran isteri,
batuk batuk bagai nak rak
ditambah dengan dengusan
tak puas ati tiap kali si suami
nak isap rokok kat luar restoran
masa anak bini dok sedap makan ketam.
ohh jangan dicaci ikut suka ati,
kang meletup sisuami,
tak jadi nak beranak lagi :D
tak dilupakan juga ngan harga
makin meningkat, tempat merokok
jauh dari ofis dan
kesihatan anak beranak:D

Bond : Marriage
Particle 1: Suami
Particle 2: Isteri
External Force :
Kemiskinan, mak mentua, isteri yang
dok tendang laki tetiap kali dia nak
merokok.(Heheh, jangan tau! tak baik..
tegur pelan pelan okeh)
si suami yang naik tangan tetiap kali
ditegur kenapa balik lambat.
dan tidak dilupakan juga kepada si suami
yang pemabuk atau kaki judi tak nak jaga
bini.
(Tp ada exception sikit kat taik pit,
entah kenapa isteri mereka jarang tinggalkan
bewak idup tu, anyone know why?)

Bond : Carrier
Particle 1: employer
Particle 2: employee
External Force:
kemiskinan, mak mentua,
(Eh kenapa yang ni sama?)
utang umah, utang grand livina,
utang kredit kad...
Internal Force:
Entah kenapa utk 'ikatan' ni,
ada internal force which is ...
bonos kureng, keja banyak, keja mengarut,
keja berat sebelah, department lain rilek
department kita jer penat,clerk tak comel,
receptionist tak layan.. heheheh

so pocketeers,
any other bond or ikatan
we can discuss?? :D heheheh

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

483. 3 Things U Wont Agree...


3 things i think u wont agree with me.

1)
i'm ok with lez, lets refer to the word
as the letter 'L' from now on okeh..
segan gak nak taip nam kali..
I'm Ok with L, now i'm not saying that
L is Halal or How does the community should
look into the matter.
Its wrong i know..
but i'm OK with it.

Why? u might ask.
What is sexier then one sexy lady?
...
...
well...
two sexy lady being sexy of course!!
heheheh >:D


2) I think people should look into smoking
issues in a more serious aproach,
saman on sight,
or even better katok on sight.
put aside the whole cigarrette is contributing
a lot in Malaysia's economy from the taxes
cause healthwise, we are in jeopardy.

A young girl by the age of five was walking
and her eyes got hit by the cigarete fire
making her blind.
I guess the smoker was holding his cigarete
with his arm straight, walking through the
walkway and a five year old girl height would
be about that much also no?
Imagine you grown up to your beautiful and happy
twenties without your eyesight? when u ask your
mother why.. the answer was 'a smoker did it'.
How would u feel?

me? my work uniform got burnt last night,
the smoker was holding his 'torch'
recklessly in a pasar malam.
oiihh

3) Big Big companies like Honda, FOrd, Suzuki,
Celcom, Digi, Maxis and even 'Anakku' should
put their commercials in NuffNang more!
(Oh but this one i think u guys
do agree with me right? heheheh)

Hey hey!! its wednesday!
another 2 days to work till the HOLIDAY.
Book a one night stay in the HardRock Hotel
maybe pocketeers?
ohh as if i have the cash ^^;

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

482. VlogDuluDulu...


A post triggered by previous post :
481. WhyDoWeNeed...

Pocketeers,
i am old.. i am so old that i lived
through the black and white TV, The
colour TV untill now its the LCD Tv..
CikBolat is so young that she only
knows LED TV which just came out
recently.
(Lawak jer tau!jangan la amik ati plak^^)

Back in our days, we use to have letters
as our way of corresponding with people afar.
sending it now would mean she'll be reading
it 4 days later (if she is still in malaysia)
and for you DhiyaFariza, it'll be another 2 weeks
till u'll be getting my surat out there in
al-mansoura. Its more personal sending letters,
your handwriting and smears of your sweat would
give a hint of existence. kissmark on the
parchment?
habihlaa kami lelaki penasaran tak leh tido :D

Then someone who are bunga enough
in our MRSM come up with this brilliant
idea of recording his voice into a
cassette and sent it to his girl.
waaaahhhh.. i remember hearing the
reply for the first time. it was heaven.
Even though she was somebody elses girl,
i am still falling inlove.
She's putting some luv song at the back
as the Background music, talking and
chuckling her cute cute laughter..
sometime she even sing to the background
music.. ooii!! kasihanilah kami!!

She talks on, her sweet sweet voice just
would melt and send us to the diabetic
ward for our insulin shot. There were
interuption, seems like her younger sister
came bugging her and she treated her with
the cutest baby voice.
'ala dik ah tayang ni nak kena
gigit ngan mak cu ni!! gigit diaaaa'
Adehlaaaa... cut me up now,
and see my heart bleeding:D

He kept on sending cassette one after
another and she kept on replying.
The Background music changed, one that
made me choke myself was the sound of
the wave crushing over the beach. Oiih!
They went on i guess, heard rumours that
one of the cassette lost from his possession.
well what can u expect.
We're boys with different background >:D

So this is another use for a tape recorder.
Traditional Vlog.. not for Video Log,
but Voice Log.
People nowadays will not be having the same
adrenaline rush like we do.. just because
u guys got yourself handphones.

Hey hey.. lets start sending surat people!
i know the chemical will be different :D

Pocket pun nak kena belajar Vlog
cam cik Hanie&Jue jgak ker haa?

Monday, December 19, 2011

481. WhyDoWeNeed...

...a tape recorder,

 oh i forgot, u guys are generation that
 never saw a tape recorder. well basically
 an audio recording device. It can be anything
 base on when is this text is being read.
 MP3 for people who look up to Najib and
 Pak Lah as their PM :D.

 so why pocketeers? why?
The most common one is when u are too lazy
 to take note and thought that those laziness
 would wear off when the clock reaching 11pm
 and the FOX channel is showing TerraNova
 series for the third time.
 well newsflash pocketeers,
no!! laziness will not wear off :D

 Another one is for listening your own
 voice conversing in foreign language.
 yes yes you over there.. i know u know this
better then anyone else ayaq masak.
 Pocketeers, on a fine day when your voice
is as merdu as the tweeting bird. Try to record
your voice while u'r conversing in english and
hear em again... u will be amaze at what u'll hear..
is it the same as Selena Gomez when
 she's in that 'wizards of waverly place'?
or maybe with an accent like harry potter,
pronouncing water with an apostrophy at the 'T'...
like WA'ER me?
i tried this, i sounded just like
a malaysian who speaks english :D
'yes lah, u know.. det wan never can sell waaannn
hahahah

 oh oh.. another one more reason.
and this is quite interesting..
We need a tape recorder to eavesdrop
 in people's conversation. On a fine day
when everyone just in the mood to gossip,
 try to start recording and leave the device
 hidden on your desk camouflage like it was
 some decoration duck or a paper weight
in the shape of a dog poo.

 U'll be surprise at the result :D
 'waahhh, pergi jugak pocket, orang baru nak 
gossip pasal awek dia, kacau daun betul lah' 


 'korang tahu, pocket tu bodek gila gila punya, 
 sebelum si farid tu jadi boss dulu, cam biasaaa 
 jer diorang kawan. sekarang... siap belanja makan siot!! 
galaxy tab yang bini si farid pakai tu? pocket lah !!' 


 'pocket tu sebenarnya taik pit, dia ngaku sendiri 
dulu masa aku rapat ngan dia dulu, hampir masuk 
 pusat lah wei!' 

 oi oi! bila masa plak pocket masuk pusat?
 camni punya overweight pun layak jgak nak
 jadi taik pit ker? apoooolah.
Any other reason why do we need a tape recorder pocketeers?

Sunday, December 18, 2011

480. NakSofa! NakSofa!

pocketeers,
the rumours is out..
people are talking about it,
some even counting days...
cant blame them..
its a yearly thing.
once a year..
where workers like me are hoping for bonus.

some says we'll get 6month of bonus..
(ko ingat ko keja petronas ker aper? tipu!tipu!)
some says we'll get it by the last day of 2011.
(so that all of us can get drunk celebrating
new year? what is there to celebrate?)
some even say that there is nothing to hope for..
nil, nada, nahi, zit.. maner ade bonos wei!
(oh how we wish that this is not true)

however it is,
how much money even we're talking about..
when ever there is money promised to be out...
cant stop the people from forecasting and planning.

If we're getting 2 month, i'm getting that ALZA.
If we're getting 1 month, i'm getting a MyVi
if we're not getting anything, i'll update my resume.

some even made a list...
new sport rim for the honda is about 3k plus..
maybe a trip to langkawi with the family would be
another 2k plus, ohh.. tak cukup!
have to get there by car instead.

Oh how i would love to get me those Lorenzo's Sofa
that pass for three to sits while watching movies,
that enough for me to sleep on without my leg tangling,
and of course... one that will not squeak if u...
if u...
if u'r doing sit up on it. heheh


The best thing about bonusses is,
kita hanya merancang, tuhan yang menentukan.
after the bonus, we will still be seing those
guys come to work by his old iswara. oh i tot
u'r handing out your resign letter?
those trip to bali.. changed to pangkor.
those new white and soft leather sofa...
never made it to our living room.

As for me, let us be realistic, no sofa for me,
i just want to clear up my C card.
hoping that next year, i can actually pay for
those faster TM Internet subscription or pay
for the HBO. humm hummmm

What about u guys, done planning
your bonus already?

Saturday, December 17, 2011

478. MelawakKasar

Pocketeers,
Pocket orang kedah,
Lahır hospıtal alor setar.
Pertama kalı jejak negerı orang pada
Tıngkatan 4. Ke perlıs masa budak skolah yang ada walkman kaset dok bangga abıh dah. Aıwa tuu, 79 hınggıt jer ponn.

Fırst tıme pocket sampaı penang adalah masa keja. Woh! Takut sıot. Kononnya orang penang kasar bahasanya..
'pııııraaah!!'
'apa dok ghaplah jıngga,
jangan dok jadı sıru la kat sını!'
Adalah sunggoh menakutkan pocket.
Oh what ıf ı offend them wıt my kedah joke?

Selepas 2 tahun dıpenang pocket dapat tahu kata, ıts about the joke that separates Kedah n Penang.
Orang Penang melawak attack personal tapı orang Penang tak penah amık pusıng atau tak penah rasa atı.
'nı apa lcd kamera hang kechık sangat nı!? Nak teghopong muka orang !pun susah!' usually would offend people, but not anak mamı penang.
'hang nı gajı saja dok mengaku rıbu rıbu, tapı kedekut taık ıdong masın!'
Kalau kena kat orang kedah, akan keluarlah ayat balas yang menggambarkan bahagıan tubuh orang yang berulat atau buruk dıhurung semut.
Heheh.

'Penang melawak kasar tapı tak terasa atı.'


Tapı hakıkatnya manusıa adalah manusıa, hatı nı dıcıpta utk merasa. Mengaku lah yang kamu dısakıtı and tell.. Jangan dok bangga sangat. Pocket g jejalan bebaru nı sempat menyaksıkan orang penang 'melawak'
Masa dok kondem anak hang hıtam, bını hang tak retı hurup rumı, pak hang kakı pendek sebelah, memang dıselangı hılaı tawa. Tapı lepas tu yang nangıs dlm toılet pun ada, yang mula belı face whıtenıng lotıon pun ada. Yang tak bagı anak kawan pun ada.. Inı ke yg kıta mahu?


regardless from whereever we are.
Try not to offend anyone when jokıng okeh. N thınk fırst before sayıng anythıng.
'keter kena tarık pasal xbayar kot, takkan la keter macam tu pun kena curı koot'
Ohh, mcm la kıta nı semekın sangat tak mampu nak bayar kan..adehla

Thursday, December 15, 2011

478. Pocket Bertambah Demam

Pocketeers,
this morning i got sick,
i got so sick that i'm sleeping with the hanky
placed right below my nose so that if any water
drip, it would not make the tiled floor slippery.
And boy did it dripped!!


i woke up at 9am with the hanky so wet i could
perah and get a glass of liquid. ohh!!

and so i slept hoping my health would recover.
waking up at 12 to eat maggi with a couple of
sausage. At 3pm i went to the Petronas nearby
to get some money.. even though it was mid of
the month, i still had to que. oh why?

After the AbangLah settled their business,
a makcik approached the ATM with an anvelope
in her hand.. she didnt know what to do and
she turned around to ask me how to take money.
oh makcik, but i'll charge u after u know..
about 20 ringgit for my service.heheh
okeh that was a joke.. why would a nice guy
like me would take an old lady money's right?

sheepishly she gave me the card and the password
was handwritten underneath a handsomely written
paragraphs of love letter.
Since i could scan a few words 'mak' and 'abah'
i'm guessing its a loveletter from a daughter.
Men just dont write nicely like that :D

She talks a lot, i guess the makcik is malu malu
being a malay lady but dont know her way around
the ATM machine, i guess people really do that
when they're segan segan. Cant blame her..
'anak makcik ni .. dok kat KL. katanya dia
hantarkan wit lama dah, tapi si bapaknya bagi
hilang kad plak... bla bla bla.. keja bagus katanyaa..
bla bla .. ari tu pi siam.. bla bla'

well basically from her talking,
it was her fourth month working in the big city,
she opened an account under her name to send money
to her mother. her mother holds the card for
easy cash out i guess..

'Jadi makcik, kalau nak tengok berapa duit ada
tinggal tekan la kat sini, saya tekan na.. '
was part of my instruction

it was about 5k... ooihhh!!

and then i helped her to take out RM800
Give a few pesanan not to talk to strangers and
get onto pakcik's motorcycle as fast u can before
some perampok come and take her money away.

and they went away with me still behind the glass
wall of the petronas mart lifting my hand to the
pakcik. Off they went leaving me feeling intimidated.
leaving me feeling small...

oh oh.. i need to get a new job that can allow me
to send money to my mother more then RM150
permonth.

adehlaaaaa....
Demam pocket bertambah demam....
MC again tomorrow?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

477. WW: NampakTak?


Pocketeers?
Tengah bawak keter Kampeni..
nampak tak speedometer tu tunjuk berapa KM/J?
tak kan...
or atleast with my height driving the new proton saga
i could not see the speedometer that much,
regardless how ever do i change the steering height.

ohh... dah tu camana nak tahu kita tengah speeding ker tak!?
adehlaaa...



Kira wordless wednesday gak tak nih?

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

476. TakRetiMasak...

Pocketeers,


people who cant cook, can still condemn our bad cooking.

so tak yah la nak cakap..
'eehh.. yang ko larang aku mencurik ni ko tu baik sangat?'
iyer, pocket pilih 'mencurik' sebagai katakerja negatif kat
sini hanya untuk satu tujuan, pocket tak nak offend anyone.
iyer lah kan.. sebut tak pakai tudung, kang ada yg melenting.
(pocket tak kisah sebenarnya, lagi suka ada..)
sebut k-pop.. ada lagi melenting.
sebut rantai burung antu, ader la kot yg melenting.. kan.

berbalik kepada tak reti masak.. yes orang yg tak reti
masak pun tahu kalau ayam tu tak masak, garam telebih lebih,
or perut ikan tak dibuang.. tu basic tu beb... lain la kalau
dia tegur bebenda advance...
-white sauce ko ni berketul ketul lah beb,
-ko taruk daun sup jer dalam ni kan, akarnyer ko tak taruk ker?
-hyayakko orang taruk halia lah aho! yang gi taruk kunyit tu sapa suruh!?
which itupun kamu buleh persoalkan ...'sekolah mana dulu?' ajer..

tp still bebenda negatif yang orang buat,
buleh jer budak sekolah kondem.
laagi lah kita yang kena kondem ni patut malu.
peh.. budak sekolah pun tahu, inikan plak aku.

so kalau kena kondem,
oi! jalan tu tengok depan! jangan dok tengok aurat orang.
oi! orang sebut pukul lapan, datang la 755! kamu tu lebar, kena awal sikit!
oi! buat keja! kang aku tak bagi bonos kan!! dok sembaaang jer keje..
.... sila sila lah buat... jangan melawan.

heheheh ooohhh sedihnya ari ni sedih :(

475. MyDesk..

Pocketeers,
Sis Jue wanted to see my desk..
its not something to be proud of.
but i guess, just so that people would
know me,

no i'm not a tidy person.
I could live in a library,
without the shelf.

PS: just a quick post as
my karangan is not finished yet..
ohh ohh.. busynya kebelakangan ni.
7am-7pm everyday..
nak cutiiiii!!!! MC jom!!

and yes... the kertas gulung is for
telinga.. tapi ada ka orang korek idung!?
jari dok ada!!?

Monday, December 12, 2011

474. BatangBergulung..

Pocketeers,
Now i know...

...that i have a very faithful readers,
on Saturday, i have 'selit' a picture
of a joke, hoping that someone would

actually commented on it, giving silly
replies or simply say something about it.

But check back people!
no reply on the picture!
U guys actually prefer to read
my story instead. Ohh i'm flattered.
(True or not, am putting behind,
let me enjoying my moment okeh^^)

anyway as today is monday,
and i know that u guys are not
in the mood to read dat much.
here it go again.
What do u think is the answer?

The person who got it right,
i'll gulung 20pcs of these for ya,
hand pick here in penang though,
cause we dont do deliveries :D
heheheh

Sunday, December 11, 2011

473. Know Your Game...

Pocketeers,

its sunday and i woke up late today.. 640am..
ohh..

A shout out to myself and for u .. maybe.
do u know how to play the badminton?
i bet u do...
no i mean the rules and regulation?
the shuttle falls inside the white line, means in.
the shuttle falls outside means out.
do not touch the net,
do not flirt with the empire,
do not intentionally smash the shuttle
to the empire, even if she gave a few bad calls.
well the whole shabang, and i dont have
to list it down here right? u know better.

Sports would be the same with life i guess,
it teaches u to follow the rules and goal oriented.
know your goal, think of strategies to win it.
and work with the pantang larang to get ahead.

Lets talk about work for instance.
like my work, i'm the carton stamper for instance,
my goal is to finish stamping 400 carton a day,
and that is what i have to do... 400 carton a day it is,
if i cant get it... then i'll lose. Just like how bowlers
lost if they cant get an average of 260pins and above.

Like friendship,
I have u guys as my 'virtual' friends,
a few more in my real world.
every comment needs reply,
every temujanji needs me to show up, Sory ayaq masak.
every sms and calls to be attended to,
and so that is what i have to do...
reply!!
show up!!
and if i fail to do so, i'll lose.
just like how a petanque player who
fail to get as much balls near the le petite.

...and just like when u are in love.
know the prohibition in the games,
do not let her know that u'r flirting with girls,
do not let her see the naughty message in your HP,
Show up on time and whatever she cook, is delicious!
or else u'll lose!!
Just like how a swimmer dont know that she suppose
to reach the final wall with both hands. DQ when she
actually won.
(Thanks Bashtiah for the awesome story : Know It All Yeah)

so pocketeers,
year 2011 i have lost in a minigame i got myself into.
lost it once and got humiliated by the 'L' mark in the
forehead all year long.
I'm not going to lose again in 2012...
set your goal,
know the rules,
and win the game. Hoyeah!!!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

472. GulungLagi!

pocketeers,
once in a while i will be writing without
any proper intention or purpose, letting
this fat tingling bones from my hand dancing
on the keyboard forming words and telling
stories about myself in this blog.

Talking about blog.. Miss FatinMraz did
a great post the other day about how to blog.
its a wake up call to some of us and for me
its a reminder of what we're doing here.

Check it out here :


one thing that i have to add would be,
in blogging.. people want to know more
about the blog owner. yes.. u can always
type informative story like how Bro Saiazuan
was telling people about gadgets and that
would attract people very much but still,
people would like to know the blog owner
too. u never know! he or she might be
the one who will be sitting by your side on
your wedding day. So loosen up the story
and slip in a thing or two about u..
yes u.. the blog owner who key in your
e mail add and password at every blogging
session :D

things like what Saiazuan wrote
in his post >Kerjaya about him
focusing in Software Developing
would definitely interest blogger
from the same field no?

Kerjaya kan?
pocket is thinking about changing
his carrier to a better one now.
Aiming for an extra RM500 a month
cause i wanna own that car that
can also brought a bicycle on top,
right now my only transport would
be the 2wheelers EX5.
The housemate's kancil can always
top those bicycle up but it would
look funny.
And carrying a bicycle with my EX5 would
be even funnier.. heheh


ohh, what can i say, people always
think about people's comment and
criticism
My zipper is undone lah,
(Please do tell me this before
massive damage is done)
Your desk is messy lah,
your handphone is too cheap lah,
hey hey.. if we always think about
people's comment, who's life are we leading?
oh no! but i do care about the comment
that u'r leaving in my blog.
Your comment really made my day,
and i luv reading and reply each and
every one of them, but these recent week
have been hectic and i just dont have the
time to reply back, for that i am sorry.
Hope changing my work can give me more
time to blog happily. (If i can..)

or do i need those android handphone
that could access my blog and write comment
as soon as you pushed the button 'publish comment'?

now that would be nice.

Friday, December 09, 2011

471. U Tak Tipu Kan?

Pocketeers,
yesterday i watched dat movie 'in time'
its ridiculous but in the same time
brilliant to push your imagination a bit.
it starts with the question ...
'what-if'

What if the curency in this world is base
on time granted to you monthly. like by
the end of this month, i'm getting 4 years
of time to spend and ... a ticket to watch
a two hours movie cost u 120minutes.
merapu kan.. i know.
but it is still interesting.
no no i'm not going to give u reviews as
this movie is quite old already.
just a few things i've noticed.
-that lady can surely run in those heels kan :D
-everyone is equiped with an LED light,
'..once the floating device float in the water,
wave your hand to show people your whereabout'
:D (instruction dari cabincrew sebelum berlepas)
-suma orang pakai baju longsleeve sebab takut
kena rompak ngan jumlah cash yang melekat kat
tangan gitu :D

anyway... as i was trying to understand
the movie that i bought for RM5 with
great picture but lousy sound.
i got an idea..

what if our dosa pahala is stated in our
left and right deltoids (Daging bahu)
just like how people place tatoos in their
shoulders.
Wouldnt that be something to see ??:D

If i gave some money at the masjid,
the green number from the right shoulder will
go up a bit.
If i steel someone's slipar right outside
of the masjid, then the left red number will
go up a bit.
well u get the idea...

imagine..
1) the durian hawker will have to show their
shoulder just to be more convincing.
'yang ni elok ni kak!! durian batu kurau punya!'
and the red number goes up..
tipu lah tuuuuuu
2) berdua dengan isteri memalam n si bini tanya..
'tadi abang gi mana?' abihlaaaaaa...
3) tengah dok bersukan main badminton,
number sang suami belah bahu kiri naik 15 point...
terus si suami talipon isteri..'sayang, u kat mana?
oohh.. tengah dok lepak ngan kak timah kat umah dia..
ok.. eh kak timah? korang ngumpat yek?'
heheh..
4) Oh tak aci!! nak tau pompuan bersuami hanya
perlu tengok kat red numbers dia, kalau tak der
tu maksudnya dah bersuami lah tu kan.. almaklumlah,
kan ker suami tanggung.
5) kelab malam tak perlu lampu merah lagi..
bling bling dok nyala :D
6) interviews utk jadi imam masjid requires 70k points
just to pass the first test. waaahhhh



anything anymore pocketeers?

Thursday, December 08, 2011

470. DahSetahun.. Tak Rosak Lagi

Selasih timbul diwaktu petang,
Cik Adik menggayung air perigi,
rezeki orang emas datang,
rezeki kita emas tak pergi

pocketeers,
semua orang bila sebutkan rezeki,
mesti pikirkan orang belanja makan..
tengah jalan jumpak emas seketul,
gaji naik dihujung tahun..
bonos yang diharapkan kunjunglah tiba.

Semua benda yang plus jer.
as if a plus to something,
kalau dah ada nasik ngan ikan goreng tu,
another ketul of ayam goreng is a plus.
(Rojak nyer bahasa melayu kamu pocket!)
cenggini jer yg kita gelarkan rezeki.
sebenarnya salah!
(Actually kamu semua sudah tahu lagi ingat,
ni pocket jer nak ingatkan diri sendiri)

Bukan yang plus tu ajer dipanggil rezeki yer adik adik..
yang 'tak minus' tu pun rezeki gak tau!

Seperti contoh : rezeki pocket murah bulan ni
-December tak pancit lagi tayar motor EX5 ku..
-December and november demam sekali jer baru :D
-roti yang pocket dok beli, tak sempat berkulat dah
abih dah.. (Eh ni silap kot)
-henpon murahan yang pocket beli tahun lepas,
sampai sekarang ni tak rosak rosak. <-which actually
harap gak rosak, so that pocket buleh beli henpon baru :D

So bebenda camni pun kita patut anggap rezeki.
n say Alhamdulillah selalu,
kalau ada yg lebih tu, sila lah keluarkan
sedekah seadanya moga rezeki kat orang lain plak. :)

eh sejak bila plak pocket buat post baik baik nih?
buleh la kan.. sesekali.. alaaa buleh la yer.. :D

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

469. Ai.. takkan tak kenal kot?

Pocketeers,
kalau zaman talipon talian kat umah dulu buleh la main main gini..
'ai? takkan tak kenal?'
ngan suara sebagai clue,
laki ka pompuan...
ini zaman SMS pun nak main gak?
macam la orang ingat nombor zaman sekarang nih...
adehlaaaa sayang


PS: Wordless Wednesday?

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

468. BrokeDown Pocket

Pocketeers,

Today I was told a 'sebak' story,
its not a sad story,
far away from those mushy tears tears kinda
story but its just a soft story about how
life is sometime not that yellow brick with
flowers along the way.
Thorns and puddle is also
there to make us happy.

She told the story all so nicely and I heard
every bit of them. Yes sis.. with your pic in
the computer screen, imagining u were talking
to me tru, I listen to every breath u exhaled
and even your smile seems so clear through that
cheap handphone speaker of mine.

Along the story there was this moment where she
told me about the main character healed from
his sickness and started to ask for food. Even
wanting to go out and about, going for boat
rides and singing competition...

The part where she mentioned
'There was i doing all the thing he wanted to
do .. Its nearly the same as granting someone's
last wishes.'

Listening to this, I broke down,
yes u guys know me, i'm the kind of guy who
would break in tears even at that movie 'real
steel' and armageddon.

I guess that is it with pengarah, writers and
a good story teller, they know where to rip off
our heart and tear it apart. Let u felt pity for
the main character and then they show u the
light from it all like Atom from 'RealSteel'
They let u feel pity with Malaysia playing
againts Indonesia, and they let the match end
with a heart tormenting penalty that resulted
in the hero's winning.
Oh wait seminit, that was real life.

...and that is what we need to be pocketeers,
we need to tell stories that could bring
tears of joy to readers. a smile unintentionally
sparkled by the end of the paragraph.
a wind of relief as the hero won in the end.
oh.. i'm not that good yet,
sure hope i can be one someday :D






PS: yes yes, its suppose to be 'her' story,
but i cant tell her story without her permision
can i? plus... even if she do ask me to write
about it, i dont think i'm that good yet ^^

467. Btul ker teww?

Pocketeers,
i was sitting down,
my knee hurts, and my back aching.
The heart thumping, the blood all rushing.
ohh.. i dont think i'm that young
anymore, Its the second round circling
the Jusco Bukit Mertajam and here i am ...
panting.

Cute little girls sitting right by my side on the bench.
Young in their shawl with top so tight, i think i know
they're using one hook or two.
Sat near to me like i did not matter to them,

on the positive side, i now i dont smell bad.
on the negative side, i know i've lost the
ancaman of a man who would flirt with them.
I know u wont seat by the side of a guy who
look like he's the same age as u right?
all of those who's still teenager please answer.
For them i am not more then an old guy,
A rusty old pole they would gave up their seats
in busses.
ohh..

and being that close to them,
i just cant help eaves dropping.
'so camana mamat ari tu?'
'tak nak ah.. suare sedap, tp sms gagal!'
'ohh kejap!! dont tell me he's old!!?'
'yes!! seems like it, dia eja abis semua down
to the imbuhan... tak sanggup ah aku!'
'sure dia tu pakcik kan..'
and they laughed...
hehehhahahahhuhuhuhuhihihihhohohoh... ooihh!!!







ohh...sedihnya pocket
1) kena belajar tulis bahasa sms 'muda' ker pas ni?
'hai!! chat? i kner g klas jap, u jgn mrh yew'
Okeh pocket try!!

2) pocket check balik SMS pocket,
wah!! 'independant' pun pocket taip sampai ke
silent 't' nyer!! abih laaaaa...

3) bahasa jiwa bangsa sis!!
hehehheh

Monday, December 05, 2011

466. KatSana?



Pocketeers,
Short story,
maktuk story,

'paih tu pocket pun gi lah ke depan kan, maktookkk...
depa punya la lawa pakai, masa raja kelantan ka raja
negeri mana ntah turun tu, bini dia ka anak dia punya
la lawaaa.. baju meghelit meghelap!(liplap)'

mama was listening to my story,
maktuk was listening too..
but i dont know that eyelid is opened or closed,
cause maktuk now is so old,
her wrinkles is getting more obvious.


'masa raja selangor mai kat hotel kami tu kan,
pulis pun dok eskot lah kan.. ada kot dalam tujuh
lapan bijik motor trapik.. raja turun dari keter,
semua orang dok angkat tangan salam,
ngan daulat tuanku nya sekali'
pocket never saw the royals before,
standing infront of the concorde hotel
while the royals were arriving for their
function is a bit too much for the pocket
to handle.

almaklumlah jakun sikit.

'lepaih tu la maktuk, kereta raja raja kita
semua pakai yang mahai mahai tok!
ngan tinted nya.. keter raja selangor tu
plet namber pun tak dak! punya la hebat..'
'elleeeehhhh. kat dunia ni lagu tu la,
mengebat dengan baju lawa kereta lawa,
besok kat padang mahsyar, sama gak
bogey macam kita.. dok languuut
tunggu penimbang tu nak jatuh mana..'
jawab maktuk ngan telapak tangan ditunjukkan,
macam kata..'Piiraahh!!!'





eh kesitu plak maktuk..
orang nak citer kejakunan orang,
ngan kehebatan kesultanan kita..
kesitu plak perginya dia... adehlaaa maktok.

465. Kangkang

as if sekangkang kera...

Pocketeers,

Money... is the source of all evil.
when u add money into charity,
the devil will step in.
When u add money into blogging,
the devil is already in.
when u add money into love,
then everything will collapse
for they are from two different
element that will burn each other.

Examples, lets say that back in the 50s,
Farid and me were buddies,
Somehow i got a bit more rezeki
then him, so i have come to own a few
piece of land that i grow prohibited
plant on them. Not much,
malay call it as 'sekangkang kera'
Since farid dont have
any place to live, all the rumah teres
and semi'ds is either taken or too expensive
that farid could not afford for so i
let him stay in my land.
i dont care... farid and me were buddies,
we ate from the same mangkuk,
and drank from the same cawan.
hell i'll be damn before
i ever go kedekut with farid.
he never did.. and so will i ...
ever!

but our friendship is bound by this flesh
god created us into.
We've grown old and rusty,
slept to god awaiting heaven (Hopefully)
Then the devil comes in.
u see, my daughter and farid's son will
never have the bonds like me and farid use to.
they just know each other as 'daddy's friend's children'
the problem comes when my future daughter
wanted to have the land farid's family
have been living for ages.
According to the will, the land belong to her...
inheritated from her late father.
which is me. so she'll be insisting for it.
No doubt.

Imagine the condition.
just because farid never asked me for the land,
buy it from me with payment
like a lifetime supply of his wife's
nasik goreng every morning maybe...
just because of that, farid's son will have to move.
leaving the old house demolished along with memories
and scenery of the late farid laughing hysterically
shouting 'brakes!! brakes!!'
teaching his son to ride the bike,

Just because of our friendship,
those picture of farid and his son
eating tembikai by the stairs will soon
be only picture. the stairs will be kayu api...
or somebody second hand pagar.
ohh..

so!!
yes, we are friend.
we are brothers.
we are sisters.
lets keep the legal things stay legal.
the grey color to be black and white.
for we fear the future, that holds a lot of uncertainty.
money... is a bond breaker.


PS: nak tanya pun susah gak kan..
'err pocket, tanah yang aku dok duduk ni,
tukar nama aku buleh tak?' oooooooo awkward

Saturday, December 03, 2011

464. Am Blaming U


Pocketeers,

to whom should i blame this purchase to?
heheheheh...


anyway.. last nite i was late,
the flight was at 2210, i reached the subang airport by 910.
which was suppose to be ok since u have to be there 45minutes
earlier. but the flight was delayed for about 20minutes..
so i went to the a kopitiam there just by the side of
palmsportsbar and had tea. They have wifi so what to do?
surf a bit, BW a bit.
(Hey!! i know the password to their WIFI!
free internet while waiting anyone?)

i didnt look at the time while BlogWalking.
This i'm blaming u guys okeh.. your writing kept
me in my own time less zone.
then, at 10pm the staff came to me and told me that its
time to close.. ohh.. ok, means that i have another 30minute
to board the plane right?.. good good..

and so i walked towards the boarding hall and
i saw this book on the shelf. Eh.. macam selalu
dok tengok dlm blog blog pocketeers sekalian jer..
And i remembered how u guys kept on telling
how good it was and everything,
pikir punya pikir...
pikir lagi pikir..
pikir pikir!! na na nannananana

belilah!!

leaving me with another 2 minutes to spare for the
body check and the long walk towards the airplane
that is already ready to fly... 'run forest! run!!'
hahahah...

the door closed right behind me after i board.
i was the last person boarding, when i'm trying
to find my seat, the cabincrew told me to sit
wherever i want. No one else is boarding anymore.
Ohh dont be so mean sis, u are beautiful enough
without your angry mask on ^^;

And i'm blaming it to you pocketeers :D
for the wonderful run i had last night ^^
beli kasut jogging lah pas nih.

Friday, December 02, 2011

463. Sikat...


Pocketeers,
now tell me,
do i need a comb?
no kan...

same goes to u about those expensive dinner,
handbags that u wore only once.
pumps that cost half of an average operators salary,
and ... 7seater car that can go up to 260km/j
when u only have one kid.

ukur baju badan sendiri okeh..
for pocket... sikat rambut kepala sendiri muahahahah:D

Thursday, December 01, 2011

462. hello!

Pocketeers,
Pocket tengah dok gaduh,
Pukul! Tendang! Tarik rambut!
..nasib baik ambut pocket ada
2mili je so xleh tarik. Hoyeah!

Anyway, pernah terpikir tak
mcmmana orang pekak pakai talipon?
Okeh, pekak adalah kata kata kasar
utk orang yg tak dengar cakap.
Jantan yang tak dengar cakap bini
pun buleh di jerit 'oi pekak!' bila
masa dimarahi.

So mari kita sebut betul betul...
'Orang yang kurang deria pendengaran'
kan sopan sikit gitu :D

Orang yang kurang daya pendengaran pakai
gak talipon, sms jer la kan. Tapi make
sure masa sms masuk tu ada lampu nyala.
Kang tak perasan la plak kan.
Ari tu tgk diorang guna vdo call
utk sembang. Besh sgt tgk!
Full of expression.

Er.. orang yang kurang deria pengelihatan
plak macam mana? Takda masalah apa!!?
Asalkan ada button ijau tanda angkat
talipon n button merah tanda letak
talipon sudah la kan.
Buleh je diorang meraba kat mana buttonnya.
Kita yg tak buta ni pun bule sms dengan
mata dok fokus driving.
Inikan plak mereka. Yang sense jari
diorang sensitip telebih lebih tu.
Yes, Mungkin diorang xleh dail,
tapi kalau kita yang talipon dia.
Buleh je sembang.

Soalan.
Kalau touch screen mcm mana orang
'tak nampak' nak angkat talipon?

Ohh.. Pocketeers,
Towards borderless society,
kekalkan talipon ber'button'!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

461. Murder Weapon

Pocketeers,

sesekali pocket nak jgak menulis ngomelan hati
tanpa perlu memikirkan apa tujuan ku menulis ari ni,
tanpa memikirkan, lawak apa nak ku selitkan ari ni,
nak membiarkan jari jemari ku yg gemuk ni menari
atas keyboard lappy hausmet.

ohh.. talk about gemok, diet pocket pastinya gagal besok.
pasal besok pocket kena gi Shah Alam n Klang utk
business trip ke kilang supplier.
dah apa kaitannya kan?
well kekadang mereka akan belanja makan.
belanja makan tu bukan sikit sikit,
8 menu lauk, n diakhiri ngan bihun goreng.
gitu gitu... oh sure kantul^^

tapi tak per.. untuk dinner, pocket akan pura pura
ada dating ngan aweks baru kenal. n bagitau diorang
'i got another plan tonight, i appreciate the dinner invitation
and all but i really could not miss this appointment.
so do excuse me will yah..'

talk about dinner, dinner apa kamu tadi?
first time pocket makan subway. BeefBall marinara ker hapa
ohh.. subway memang lah besh, cuma subway memanglah jadi
makanan paling comot yang buleh kita senarai hitamkan kalau
nak ajak awek dating.
or atleast that is what other people is thinking,
but for me... best if we bring your awek to a place where
she can bring out her most honest self dont u think?
setakat fork and knife tu, sure dia belakun dari awal punyer tak?

ho ho!! Fork and knife!! went to ikea and bought myself some
plastic fork and knife, and it turned out the knife is actually sharp!
wah!! someone just got a murder weapon.. :D

okeh that will be all pocketeers,
hope i can BW and keep posting once a day
for tomorrow till weekend. Too many story
inside this head, my ears bleeding green goo.
Tata pocketeers, hope Concorde Hotel Shah Alam
got complimentary internet tomorrow.

460. ApaPasaiMurah?

Pocketeers,
A joke I got the other day...

A pakcik picked up his tabung and change
the content to a 6 pieces of RM50 notes.
He brought the 6pieces of paper to a
Gadget Selling shop and talk nicely asking
the uncle for a navigator system...
i cant remember what does it called,
but its rhyme with Vermin or was it cermin (Mirror?)

anyway, the Pakcik being sick of his recent
'lost' in the city incident thought that if he
buy a decent navigator system, then there
will always a girl's voice directing him to his
destination. and hearing sounds like that is
always pleasing as u'll know that u are not
alone in this world. There is an angel looking
over u.

'ni berapa ringgit ni?' the pakcik asked.
'ni ha kawan, yang ni murah sajaa.. 800!
siap pasang bagi u, ini haa.. ada lapan bahasa
buleh cakap oo!! itu bahasa kedah..
bahasa kelantan.. bahasa jawi pun buleh hoo!!'
the uncle explained. Before the pakcik could ask
him anything, he started to immitate the accent
that the machine can produce.
'mu rapak kighi, tigo ratuh mite lagi mu belok kighi...
redi, belok selalu!'

'mahal sangat la tauke, murah lagi tak dak ka?'
the pakcik starts to negotiate.
'adaaaa!! yang ni murah, satu latut lima puluh saja'
said the uncle proud.
'waaaa!! apa pasal murah sangat !!' the pakcik could
not believe his ears, now he can use the extra 3 pieces
of paper to change it for a burger king.
'ini haa.. mulah tapi lagi syok!'
'apa yang syok!'
'dia tak dak kona kanan punya,
semua turn left saja... '






heheheh:D..
pusing kiri jer, buleh sampai ker?

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

459. 'BeatMeKindly'

Pocketeers,
Are u a kind person?
I bet u are..
well, people can be kind to each other
and yes, they can also be rude.
But how do we react towards people's
kindness ya pocketeers?
I think there are 2 type of person
in this world. (Talking about kindness)
Those who pay with kindness,
and those who take advantages.

Those who take advantage of
people's kindness is easy,
U do good to them, they ignore.
U pay em a visit, they forgot.
U cook something for them...
they throw it away.
after a few kindness, u start to realize
what kind of person they are.
and U start to create the space between
U and them. One day..their phone number
will be lost in your cheap phone...
and when u change your number,
u kinda fail to notify them the new one.
The End.

People who pay kindness with kindness.
This kind of people is so hard to handle,
they always look for a way to top up your
kindness ensuring u loose in that minigame
they call...
'Beat Me Kindly'

If u pay for his lunch,
do not have dinner with him,
cause he'll definitely be paying those
big and fresh fish right out of the sea
and have them goreng tiga rasa for u just
to top up the nasi goreng u paid.

If u bring them to jalan jalan in penang,
then they'll bring u to a better area
for jalan jalan, with light and show..
with clown juggling by the road.

Ohh dont ever give them a present,
u'll have a hard time to top their
present next year.
U give an i phone,
they'll reply with IPad.
U give a decoration lamp,
they'll reply with an LCD TV
(is somewhat a deco lamp too,
its nice looking glass deco with light
coming out showing nice picture)
U give them a simple water flusk,
prepare your house for the water heater.

Its like they want u to be happy,
honestly from their heart, wanting u to smile,
like your smile could cure their pain and
having u around would be the best medicine.
They dont 'bodek' u for any bigger favor..
as if u own a piece of land that they can inherit
if u die.
They dont care if u'r a miskin old hag
who live under the titi.
THey are just kind hearted.

What to do with this kind of people?
have them in your speed dials,
notify them if u'r changing your phone.
Hell i'll even notify them if i'm blessed
with and early settlement six feet under.
Tru dreams ..huhuuuuuuuu (Takuuutttt!!)

...cause Filantera, syahiela, bro Kon,
I cant even start to describe your kindness
towards us truout the trip last weekend.
I am thinking of a way to top those up..
but i guess u have max out by all the food
and the sight seeing. See u again okeh.
Thank you for the best weekend ever :D

Monday, November 28, 2011

458. Tangan Kanan

Pocketeers,

...ever stand for your right?
or in malay, its.. 'mempertahankan hak anda'
all of us are entitle for a right bestowed onto us.
The right to speak,
The right to drive-on when our lane is with green traffic light.
The right to park if we have paid monthly and our Effing Car
Number is marked on the effing parking box.
The right to stay in the right lane if we are going too
fast till the police patrol car also cant catch up.
Well basically all of the rights.
(Who agree with me raise your right hand!)

Now now.. I'm not going to talk about those big big 'Right'
like voting for the leader, or 'berparang' over a piece of land
passed down from your father to you.
Example was too big? then what about the right to vote for
your favourite bintang kecil by SMSing his 'code' to the number
appear on the TV screen.

I'm talking about small small right, like those cofee taking turn
at IKEA refills after you have spent 20second of waiting in line.
u have waited,
its your turn..
somebody gesturing to cut in,
u protect your right!
u push your shoulder in,
blocking the old lady out!

or atleast that was what happened.
a young girl that i dont dare to ask for her number came in and
hit my cofee cup out of the cofee dripping zon just to ensure an
old lady who was trying to cut in line from the left, failed to do so.
Oh the long haired sexy 14 year old adik won of course,
the hitting was so hard it almost spills off the cofee inside.
'eeeehhh... back of the line please' was somewhat she said.

come to think of it,
its not about fighting for your right anymore isnt it?
its about winning your mini game inside this big ridiculous
game we call life.

-Winning while driving,
-Winning for a seat at the bench when our feet is sore from
too much walking.
-Winning the seats in IKEA canteen just to eat that beef balls
in the lunchtime of a cutiumum.
-Winning in price haggling
(Just like what i've posted : 378. Sekilo berapa ni cikk?)
-Getting to see the movie of your choice when the Hubby
wanted to see another one. hummm
-It makes us feel special for an itsy bitsy milisecond kan?
'I have won today! from an old lady who cant put her
cup first because her left hand was holding the tongkat berkaki empat.
Hoyeah!!'

The question is, 'is it worth the broken heart, the pain we cause
just to win? Those car that we overtake? some old pakcik who
cant seat cause all of the seats are filled with youngsters who
cant keep their hand to themselves?
Your hubby wanting to see that movie...?

ohh!! There's gotta be more to life - Stacy Olego..
(olego koko..
minuman yang lazat...
sedia diminum..
eh camana lagu dia?)

Sunday, November 27, 2011

457. fit previous post

Pocketeers,
A short post.
Cant post too long,
My net connection is 'less'

last post was about blurting out
word without thinkin first.
Here is another sample that fits
previous post nicely.

Here I am waking up in the morning
of sunday 27hbNov, looking at the tv
that shows of maalhijrah n everything
related.
Asking ...

'Maalhijrah? Bila yek??'

Ooih!!

Friday, November 25, 2011

456. stupid

Pocketeers,
If u can buy a car that cost hundreds
thousand. Why bother bout the fuel
consumption?

Asking about fuel consumption in a BMW selling centre would make u look foolish.
No?

A couple who were married for 6 years
but never granted with child would
definitely felt sad n be working hard
to get one dont u think?
Asking the stupid question like...
'xrasa rumah u sunyi ke?'
'u tak try tanya doktor ke?'
...would make u look stupid no?

Think before blurting out question ok!
Even if we are stupid beyond comparison,
let us atleast appear intelligent okeh?

455. BuatPening...

Atau dalam bahasa orang puteh nyer... Buffered Earnings,
tak tak bukan direct translation!!
lebih kepada pantun... ataupun rhymes.

pocketeers.
Yes, the nuffnang desk already told me about this and
i have read and reread over and over again their
explanation. I still not able to grasp what is the best
part about buffered earning. Its not that their
english or explanation is bad...
its just me who are not good in understanding them.
yes yes.. everybody seems to aim for it.
and i know for sure, even if one is granted this,
one can always lose it the next day.
So i have to work harder to ensure this stays.

so as easy as this may sound pocketeers,
anyone care to explain in the easiest explanation
what is buffered earning.

Anyone?

Thursday, November 24, 2011

454. ItamPuteh Logo

Pocketeers,
logo selalunya tak banyak details,
tp ngan tak banyak details tu,
maksud cuba diterangkan sepaham mungkin.
Contoh paling mudah, logo burger berpalang
dlm LRT... makna nya tak leh makan...

tp utk negara yg burger pung tak pernah jumpa.
sure orang tak paham kan :D well sama la gak
untuk logo 'musang melintas' kat jepun...

anyway ...
ngan separuh promosi blog,
separuh sendiri pun tak tau,
separuh rasa benda ni menarik...
(Eh dah tiga paruh tu?)
sila lihat gambar ni, logo paling kiri tu represents aper?


Dichedok pocket dari blog
kak saloma <-sila ke link ini utk paham keadaan.
A cabin crew yang hot yang amat sangat,
pocket cuba nak ngorat, tp tak dapat dapat...
tp bagus jgak tak dapat, baru lah pungguk ini buleh
terus merindu bulan yang tinggi kat atas kapal
terobang saner nuu.

okeh, back to the photo.
nak kater orang haji, memang nampak cam haji.
tp ngan tulisan siam nyer terasa mungkin gak tok sami kan?
tapi tok sami tak perlu nak duduk,
kan ker diorang tu tak kira umur,
yang muda pung jadi sami gak...
tapi pikir gitu, yang gi haji pun...
eh yang gi haji 70% tua tua :D

Any opinion pocketeers?

komentator kat blog kak saloma sndiri dok kater sami...



PS: pocket nak gi KL. 10pm kang betolak ngan ketapi,
sampai klsentral pagi esok 5am katanya.
akan try post dari henpon nokia murahan pocket...
kalau kita buleh 'stumble' upon each other kat IKEA besh kan :D

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

453. YangBaik...

Perginya senang.

Pocketeers,
Dah tengok Metro Online ari ni?
katanya masuk surat kabar,
pocket tak tahu plak.
pocket tak beli.
pocket nak bagitau sikit,
cik Ahmad Fauzi Ismail ni jiran.
Kalau balik kampung, tahu dah dia mesti disitu,
selang sebuah rumah jer ngan umah Maktuk.
kekadang kami saling nampak, angkat tangan.
kalau dia datang umah... kami sembang,
kalau pocket gi umah dia, kami sembang.

dari kecik pocket kenal dia, dia jadi alasan untuk
kami nak ngorat jiran dia.. iyer lah, datang lepak
ngan dia.. n sekali tu dok ushar lah cik adik sebelah.
One day pocket akan post gambar pocket ngan dia.
rasanya ada.. dlm desktop pocket kot.

Dia ni memang baik sangat sangat.
tak pernah merungut idup dia tak besh ker haper.
idup dia besh pun tak pernah membangga..
pocket ingat, pocket pernah gi nengok dia kat spital
admitted due to High BP. ceria nya dia tengok kami
gi melawat dia. kami plak yang sedih sedih pasal
dengar dia High BP.

tu lah, kata kawan cina pocket,
yang baik... pi senang.
Kalau ikut ke akhbar tu,
memang senang sunggoh la .
(Pocket tak kata tak sakit, just senang)

kawan cina pocket jgak kata...
'Makan kenyang kenyang, lepaih tu pi lah.'
well betul gak, dia memang 'pergi'
lepas makan nasik goreng.

pocket sendiri plakkater..
moga dia 'pergi' dalam iman.
dan roh nya dicucuri rahmat.
Alfatihah untuk Ahmad Fauzi Ismail
(Kami panggil banji tok pidah)

Banji Tok Pidah...
Malaysia menang tau! malaysia menang!
(Harapnya dia tahu lah result nyer kan... ohh)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

452. Lesson Learnt

Pocketeers,

How is the office with yesterday's big news?
happy!?!? sure of course,
but my kilang was different.
the indonesian lady was furious,
saying that we won out of luck.
huh!

anyway,
coming back from work just know,
the weirdest thing happened. Both of my tire
punctured and gone flat at the same time.
heran heran..

and so i stop and call the guy who fix punctured
tire for a living. Lets call him Kay for i dont want
any racism issue afloat here in my blog.

Kay came after 10 minutes of waiting and start
to work on my EX5. He got a few problem handling
my EX5 so i helped him a bit.
Hold on the torchlight,
Support the EX5 sideways.
We talked, getting to know each other,
the usual stuff...

after a few kting, ktung, ktang and pissssssttttttt..
the job is done and its time to pay.
I handed him my last RM50 Note, but he dont have
any small change. so i asked him how?
He asked me to go to a gas station nearby and change
the big note to a smaller one.

'heheh, so we'll meet there? how do u know
i will be there ha Kay? how do u know i can be trusted?
i can always flee and u'll never see me again.'
I ask half jokingly, and his answer was the best.

'u malay are people with religion, sure u'll be there.
u fear the halal haram. Profit of RM25 and be cursed
by your god is not worth it.'

Of course his answer was full with his race slang which
if he was chinese then it'll sound like ...
'aiaaa laupan, u melayu ala agama punya olang,
mesti pi punya.. lu takut itu halal halam,
untung 25 linggit pun tuhan malah talak padan maaa'

and if he was indian..
'anee melayu, ada agama punya mesti pigi jugaa..
halal haram lagi ttakut dari untung 25 ringgit.
tuhan marah tada padan jugaa..'
interesting kan?
the perception,
the word,
the usage.
So we malay who usually are muslim
suppose to know the HalalHaram?
and fear god's wrath?
if that is the perception,
then we need to keep it that way pocketeers,


PS: ...and it doesnt have to be muslim only,
all other religion have their own belief..
and i'm sure.. the restriction is for the
best outcome of its follower.

451. HausmetTersayang.

Pocketeers,

seperti yang pocketeers sekalian dah sedia maklum,
pocket ada hausmet yang selalu bagi pocket pinjam laptop dia
untuk pocket apdet blog. somehow dia tak kisah.. setakat ni.
(Desktop pocket tgh rosak, terbengkalai kat dlm kotak.. ohh)

TV pun tv dia, so memang la dia ada kuasa veto keatas tv tu.
Ari tu dia kata dia nak tulis nama atas tv tu,
pocket ingatkan kat mana la dia nak tulis, kat skrin depan dia
taruk!! nasib baik la oblivious. kalau tak...
nampak nama dia cam iklan jer masa tgk dvd.

so semalam memandangkan bola malaysia lawan indonesia
final, pocket yang tak tengok malaysia menang dulu,
mintak la mintak jugak nak tengok bola. n dia bagi.. yang sorang
lagi tu tak kisah sangat pocket nak tengok ker tak, dia lagi layan
DVD dia jer... so kami pun tengok la bola sesama kat sofa 3+2+1
yang pocket beli second hand.. RM300. Murah kan? :D

The best part about tengok ngan hausmet
pocket is, diorang tak pandai sangat bola.
(Which makes me lelaki termacho lah kan)
Semangat tu terasa, tapi diorang tak pandai sangat.
Pocket pun tak pandai, tak der team nak sokong,
tapi tahu lah kater penjaga gawang dibenarkan guna tangan.

Cant blame them, less exposure would make a malay lady
with malay name sounds stupid speaking malay.
(Contoh lama sangat ker? ok laahh, pocket cari contoh lain)
Cant blame them,
Same as we who dont know 'PowerPlay' from ice hockey.
Cant blame them,
Same as we who dont know 'fumble' from Rugby.

Antara aksi hausmet pocket yang menarik semalam...

1) Diorang angkat tangan happy bila pasukan
jersi merah score goal last ten minute tu... 'Goaaalll!!!'
Indonesia score lah!
(nasib baik lines man call that one as off side.
kalau tak terasa pengkhianatan disitu)

2) 'player kita kuat kuat kan, kena tendang kat lutut
pun sakit kejap jer.. pas tu buleh bangun lari lari lagi kan :D'

3) 'Kenapa tak dak piala?'


Ohh Hausmet,
kita amik astro yang ada sports channel plak pas ni nak?

Monday, November 21, 2011

450. Camca Plastik

Pocketeers,

kata orang 'cerita' tu takkan jadi 'cerita',
kalau tak diulang berkali kali.
bila dah permanent terhias dlm minda ni,
baru lah character nya diingati,
baru lah event nya dijiwai,
berulang ulang kali... biar sampai mati.
lupa jangan sekali... sejarah pembikin diri.
hoyeah!!

anyway.. ini cerita maktuk.
untuk yang dok baca blog ini dari lima tahun lepas
sure dah baca... utk yang baru...
hey hey, layan pun besh okeh :D

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


'Aih..tadi aku nampak cam hang dapat camca
palastit?' tanya maktuk kehairanan.
'umph... dah buang dah ... ado lagi dalam
plastik sampah tu tuk... tuk nak buat apa?'
busy driving the KayBiPiThree'O'Five
'Laaa... yang hang pi buang tu buat apaaa...
simpan laa... buleh jugak buat cedok apa apa...'
'Berapa banyak la nak simpan tuk?
bukan nya nak pakai pun,
kat umah tu banyak dah la tuk'
maktuk diam sambil geledah beg plastik sampah,
mengalihkan tulang ayam, mengalihkan tisu tisu.
She took the white small plastic spoon and tuck it
nicely inside a layer of KFC tissue.

As if it worth something.
as if she's gonna use it soon enough.

Other day... Other occasion ...
'okeh maktuk .. nak pi kl dah... dekwan bawak
bubur maktuk ni na.. buleh jugak makan dalam
perjalanan kang'
'naa.. amik la camca palastit ni...
takkan hang nak langgah bubur ni kut..
tumpah satgi belemoih pulak baju hang...'
'umph.. bak mai...'
I can see a slight senyum at the corner of her lips.
'hummm.. nasib baik jugak ada aku ni yang duk
amik simpan camca palastit nii...tu la hampa.'

basically she have proven her action of keeping
those plastic spoon which u receive inside the
takeaway sauce n tissue pack
is right after all
is worth doin after all...












Ok maktuk, seronok lah tu!
terbukti kater maktuk betul tu..
seronok lah tu!!

tp memang maktuk betul pon.
pocket simpan 20 puluh jer tau,
kalau lebih pocket buang....

Pocketeers,
do you keep those packed chilli sauce
from KFC when u'r buying take-out?
Can use it for the biscuit u know :D

Sunday, November 20, 2011

449. Makes U Wonder...

Pocketeers,


Ari ni ahad yang patutnya pocket goro goro (golekgolek)
atas tilam sepanjang ari tapi somehow pocket dok busy
kesana kemari. Kepala paip rosak, tutup pun air dok
mengalir lagi..
Sama la gak ngan idung pocket.
Air dok mengalir jer..
kenapa la agaknya..
Petanda nih!

Pocketeers,
Ever stand in line to buy KFC?
Now its the tomyam crunch right?
I hate fusion food so i'll pass.
so there I was in the line at lunch time.
About 4 person infront of me and i'm waiting.
The indian guy taking nasik. Waaahhhh
The chinese guy bought a bucket.. wah waaaahhhh!!
The Malay pakcik was entertaining his cucu
with everything that she requested... how cute..

After the little girl got what she wanted,
the Pakcik paid and the cashier lady wave good bye
to the little cucu with her sweetest smile.
Sikit lagi macam dlm iklan tv jer.

And now its time for the cute lady in front of me to
approach the cashier, all three of them wearing weird
looking shawl with accent like they spoke english all the
time. Some how the 'R' is obvious beyond requirement.
'ummm, nak makan aper yer? amik lunch set larh! eh tak tak!!
kejap kejarp... hummm i nak makan pocket haper tuuu...bla bla '
which makes u wonder...

dari tadi tak nak pikir!!
punya la lama dok dlm line
hang dok sembang apa!?
nak jugak aku pang budak ni kang...
Tu baru sorang, by the time tiga tiga
orang tu make up their mind, Pocket dah buleh
senyum senyum kat cashier nama Husna yang
ada taik lalat kat dagu tu.
Sikit lagi nak mintak fon namber jer.

sabor pocket sabor, jangan 'PANG' anak orang.

Amik iktibar.
masa pocket tiba.
'Take away, 2 piece chicken, tak nak set, thigh and drumstick,
Original buka spicy, tak yah plastik, tak yah minum, terima kasih'
Senapas dengan dua jari diangkat tanda peace!!
n senyum sekali bagi kat cik Husna:D
kan ker senang.
haaaiiissshhhh.. or atleast that is how pocket doing it.
how about u pocketeers?



















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