Friday, February 26, 2010

269.TandaCInta...


ekali tanda cintaaaaa daaa tajuk..


Mana ader tanda cinta plak, peh jiwang plak pocket pepagi nih!!
nak citer pasal icon, tp nak taruk tajuk yang besh besh,
since icon adalah satu benda yg orang tgk dulu,
tgk jer trus rasa cinta (Rasa ker?)
baru la click kat link disebelah tu kan...
so tu yg pocket taruk tajuk tanda cinta tu.. eheheh
not relevant?

Basically bila orang komen kat blog pocket nih,
icon nyer akan jadi lebih menonjol, tertonjol lagi menyerlah gitu,
since nama tu tak der la apa sangat kan, nama plak ganash ganash
belaka.. ganash sangat sampai kebelakangan ni rasa sumanya
biasa biasa saja.. its only a nick anyway... sama cam pocket.
Tu tak ganash, just simply satu bnda yg kita tetiap ari berdepan.
pocket ku kering heheheh:D

so icon itu memang menonjol,
kalau icon nyer gambo awek comel,
maybe kita buleh bajet blog nyer pun comel lah kot.
kalau icon tu muka Pelakon kungfu soccer tu,
then maybe mamat kuat merapu tahap dewa yang
sampai dalam pilem sebenarnya tendang bola
bleh kuar naga berapi abis tiang goll bersepah..
humm somehow related. Memang AhFatt begitu,

icon menarik pembaca, setuju?
mungkin ya, mungkin tidak,
kak kujie stay ngan gambar itam puteh nyer
lama jgak, still blog dia ganash jgak..
Jard the great stay ngan gambo dua gadis
duk main arnab tu lama jgak, tp dia buleh dpt
earning nuffnang 50 hinggit every two weeks.
Setelah Dua Minggu Ku Cash Out Lagi

Tapi dua orang ni tak leh masuk kategori,
diorang dah level platinum dah,
so icon apa pun diorang pakai.. samo jer traffic.

tp ada gak yg amik gambo full body utk dijadikan icon,
beb!! tak nampak muka laaaa...
HEMY tu lain, gambo tu memang menarik hehehe:)
membuatkan ku tingin nak besarkan:D

ada yg semak, skali tgk tak tau gambo apo ...
ada jgak yg kemash, cam cik Farenova kita.. "F" jer :D
nampak seri dari jauh...

Harus diakui, dlm blog hopping masa jumpa link kat blog orang lain,
pocket akan tgk ...
1) komen yang besh lagi ada kena mengena ngan post...
2) icon yang comel lagi menarik!! (sexy tu satu imbuhan)
icon menarik readers, betul ker?
so how is your icon pocketeers?

Nak tukar icon lah,
taruk gambo yg tak der
kena mengena bleh ker?

Monday, February 22, 2010

268. SeratusSepuluh

Pocketeers,
adehlaaa, baru balik johor, keja manyak la sangat ..
sorry for the absence


Click to Enlarge
Pocketeers,
Kalau la kat malaysia ni, suma orang yg dapat gambar orang
yg buat jenayah, yang jika disabit kesalahan buleh dpt wit.
berapa inggit yg korang rasa adil untuk kita tuntut?

kalau kesalahan lalulintas, maybe 30% dari jumlah saman yg
dapat? fare enough what!! kalau 300 tu dah 100 dah woi!!
-Pocket yang tak der wit akan gi tunggu kat jalan tangkap
gambo orang tak pakai talipinggang, kalau saman nyer RM70,
dpt jgak 21 kan. Sari lima tak impossible kan, sebulan? wow!!
gaji engineer!!
-kalau kesalahan bunuh bunuh!! waaahhh.. mesti banyak kan,
kalau kes leeWhat!? lagi la beb!! siap buleh ugut orang lagi:D

Kesan Kesan:
-mesti ramai yang katok jurugambar pas tu:D
mat rempit mesti pantang nyer lah, nampak kutu pegang
Kamera besor besor mesti kira nak katok punyer lah hahahahah,
Hatta wedding Photographer pun mesti kena katok. heheh
-rasanya donia ni aman sikit,
bas takkan speeding lg,
lori takkan speeding lg..
(Dpan skolah mesti 30km/j jer ok...
tak der saper pun yg ikut nih)
-langgar lampu merah? will be a thing of the past.
-BapakPulisi kena buat satu divisyen just to evaluate
the authenticity of the picture taken. Tapi takkan la mudah
sangat nak jatuhkan hukuman kan.. mesti ada soal siasat dulu kan..
bagus lah, banyak sikit keja diorang.. tak der la makan wit
Potongan Cukai Berkala pocket setiap bulan tp orang masih lg
dok mencuri motor sana sini, hoh!!

and guess what?
Nokia, samsung, sony errickson will definitely profit from
the additional reason of why people want to buy handphones
with camera... good camera.

ker pocketeers.. benda ni dah ada dah?
yang komplen number ni tahu lah, tp tak rasa berkesan pon.
So kepada pihak yang ada kuasa kat luar sana,
tulong lah bawak ni ke depan. moga pocket buleh mengubah dunia :D

Thursday, February 18, 2010

267. PakaiKer..

...kalau macam tu?
'so ko lap la ngan kain lap spek ni,
then bila dah bersih protection sheet
atas screen nii, ko cover la the whole
thing ngan rubber cover nih. lpas tu
kepit kan jer ngan leather cover ni
plak.
baru la protection!! make sure
ikat ngan
strap n gantung kat leher,
tak pun ikat ngan
chain cam bebudak
punk duk ikat dompet tu,
baru la
selamat beb!!'










Ramai yg pakai henpon,
pocket rasa anda juga pastinya
memakai henpon, sayangkan
henpon cam gadget yg mahal sangat.
Cukup sayang sampai kalau jatuh dlm
lubang toilet pun mesti korang gagau
kan... Regardless who's output was inside.
Eeeeeiiiiii welk!!

Tak salahkan korang, Pocket pun..
kalau tertinggal kat umah, mesti balik amik.
(Tu bukan pasal sayang, tp pasal takut kna
marah tak reply SMS seseorang hahahah)
Tapi kan.. jangan la sampai sayang sangat,
taruk protection sheet atas skrin,
then rubber cover plak..
then leather cover lg..
ikat plak tu ke leher,
ikat plak lg ke talipinggang,
wow!!

Bagi la henpon tu ber fungsi,
skali kita jatuhkan, skali kita belajar.
Jangan duk SMS mase naik motor,
kang jatuh naya jer..

Setiap satu calar, satu finger print,
kita akan tahu, jangan taruk kunci
ngan henpon skali dlm satu pocket.
finger print tu inevitable lah kan...

Setiap satu crack, kita jatuhkan..
kita tahu jangan letakkan henpon
skali ngan sapu tangan dlm pocket.
tarik sapu tangan, henpon pun terjun.

Henpon jangan taruk dalam pocket atas
masa gi qada hajat, memang 'plup' punyerlah!!

Jaga henpon, yes jaga..
tp jangan sampai tak happy plak pakai henpon tu,
jangan sampai henpon tu tak happy plak berkhidmat ..
jangan sampai henpon tu cari tuan yg lain..
EH!!!!???

'and ko jangan lupa plak!! masa nak bercakap tu,
sila guna handsfree bluetooth, pasal kalau ko
lekap
kan skrin yg dah aku lap td tu ke telinga
kotor ko tu,
berdeney plak la skrin tu ngan
earwax ko... ko ader
bluetooth handsfree tak!!?'

Sunday, February 14, 2010

266. Muka Hemoi...

...is a term we call to those people who cant feel much
on his/her face. They got skin soooo thick that they
cant feel heat, there wont be blood even if u poke
the skin with a sharp scalpel. Ever saw the kulit tumit
of a rubber tapper? pretty much the best description.

Its like their topeng is invincible.. thick with tough material.
They can actually sings in the middle of the crowd out
of tune and still giving applause to himself saying
'hell that was great isnt it!' smiling with full confident.

These kinda people also can be found cutting in line while
u'r buying ticket without the guilty faces, tapping on
their shoulder asking them to step out of the line?
They'll just ignore u making a face like they're outsider
who dont understand english or malay.
not realising his name tag clearly writes 'Farid'

These kinda people can never foresee the future,
They dont care.. if it happens that they've slap their GF
on the public making a scene, they can still sits on the
passenger seat of his GF's Vios looking like he's right
and the GF was wrong and she deserved the slap,
a girl shouldnt be talking to an ex-schoolmates.

Oh they can make a straight face alright,
today he's shouting angry words at us,
and tomorrow he can still ask for our help...
'hang ni tak reti buat keja langsung, mak hang mexxxxxxx ngan sapa la yg dpt anak pemalaih macam hang ni, dah la tak reti buat keja, menyusah kan orang... xxxxx sunggoh la xxxxx ni, hang amik button hang ni balik, bawak balik bagi anak bini hang makan.. atleast button ni halai lagi dari gaji hang yg dok dapat ujung bulan tu, hang bukan nya buat keja pon, xxxxxx sunggoh xxxx ni'
where xxxxx is a word too sensitive for some age to take,
and the next day...
'wei hang tulung aku sat, beli karipap kat depan mobil tu buleh?'

dont u hate these kinda people pocketeers?
i hate them, as much as i hate to become one..

yesterday i've sent a hate mail to a supplier,
saying he is weak in replying reports and slow support.
Regardless...
Monday i'm going there and i'm asking
the same slow support guy to come and pick me up at senai...
ohh what have i've become....
Happy Cuti pocketeers...
cant wait to hear about your happy cuti,
for i am working in johor this monday till wednesday.
alahaaaaiiiii...

Saturday, February 13, 2010

265. The Purpose Of...

...Fork and Spoon.
banyak tujuan nyer pakai fork
and spoon ni pocketeers,
other then nak pakai bagi
nampak lawa, konon nyer ada
table manner la konon,
-garpu juga buleh dibuat cucuk
mata dalam pilem kassim selamat,
kerana garpu juga mempunyai
hujung yg tajam, orang guna
nak cucuk plastic bag nak buat
nasi himpit ...
-camca ada yg buat alat muzik,
-tak dilupakan juga ngan ada
yg buat korek tanah masa nak
bercucuk tanam secara minor.
-baling suami anda kalau dia
didapati bersalah keluar ngan
awek lain? well better guna
pinggan sis :D
Sound effect nyer beza .
-adiah orang kawin!! senang siut
nak post..tak yah takut pecah ker haper...

anyway.. dlm banyak banyak tujuan kita nak pakai camca,
satu yg paling obvious skali would be tak nak bagi tangan
kita contaminated ngan makanan masa makan...
Not to say that makan ngan tangan tu tak besh,
tp kekadang tu kita tak buleh makan pun ngan tangan,
contohnya laksa lah kan...

so kalau la tujuan nyer tak nak bagi tangan kotor...
tp diorang taruk limau ni dlm pinggan kuah laksa
ni camni... camana tak nak kasi kotor masa perah?
semua tempat buat gini. tak der orang komplen ker?
letak la sebelah ker ...
upon request ker,
ada yg makan laksa ber limau, ada yg tak..
ada yg makan bihun sup berlimau, ada yg tak..
ada yg makan mee goreng mamak berlimau, ada yg tak..
ngabih kan bogheh betui la, dah tangan kotor ..
pas tu heliaq (Lap) kat seluar.. alahaaaiiiii...

ker ada caranya nak memerah menggunakan fork and spoon?
anyone?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

264. TooMuch..

...Gediks.
Dah berkali kali pocket duk citer pasal kegilaan
ngan citer ghost yg cheryl samad blakon nih,
tak kata dia pandai sangat belakon, tp dia amat
lah bersahaja lakonan nya...
kebelakangan ni terminat lak ngan cik harum nih
(Nama sebenornyer isma hanum, but lets refer her
as her character name in Ghost shall we?)
dalam citer ghost nih dia blakon sebagai hantu
yg dah mati kena bunuh ngan BF sndiri yg kemudian
nya dia dpt tahu yg BF tu kna rasuk dek hantu lain..
twisted? yeah, try watching it..

so tertangkap cintan la plak ngan awek gothic nih,
ngan mekap nyer, baju all black nyer..
rasa besh semacam jer ngan harum..
and u guys know what does a man in luv would do right?
we stalk...

found out that she's also in another drama
about school girls and cheerleading.. 5 jingga...
school girls?
cheerleading?
owh!!
tp tak per.. kita tgk dulu..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
wahahahah!!
tak sempat abih pun siri pertama..
hahahahah,
sori Nik (Nama isma hanum dalam 5 jingga)
abang tak leh nak tgk sangat lah bila banyak
sangat aksi comel lagi gediks.. ehehehe:)
siri pertama jer pocket download...
nak kena download lagi kah? adeeeehhhhh.. ^^;

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

263. He's Gay, so what?

There is this Mr G, who gave me a chance of
earning the food i'm putting on my dining table.
a loaf of bread not much, how i wish i'm getting
some meat and cheese too, a jug of milk to soothe
down the throat.

so one day me and Mr G went to Sungai Petani,
something about a plastic cover got scratches.
and we talk, i drive slow, so we got all the time
to talk about stuff, now let me tell u about Mr G,
he is nearly twice my age and i was born when this
land was still called malaya, imagine how is he.
in malay we would refer him as the one who eat
salt first.. (makan garam dulu) hahahah...
so since he is the one who should be getting the
high blood pressure first then he knows stuff that
i dont know. And his perception on life is different.
its really nice to hear different point of view rather
then those from the same age, we who got melancholy
over richard marx's 'right here waiting'.

ok back to my slow driving, we talked about music,
some cute blonde girl with an accent was on,
twist the knob to change the volume from 3 to 6..
'i heard she's a lez' Mr G voiced out,
'oh!! is it? well i can take lez, hate homo though'
'why? both are the same what?'
from his point of view yes, both are sins.
'no, watching lez making out turns me on,
watching homo? am puking just by imagining it'
'well my daughters hated her for that, not listening to her nomore'
'why? so u have to be straight to sing?' i asked..
,,and then Mr G explained in his own word, which
i cant remember no more, but cutting it short,

We Produce What We Are,
if my officedesk is cluttering and dusty,
then so does my report will be,
so does my document control will be.
cluttered and out of place. See my desk here
14. Semak Sangat ker Pocket? heheheh, bangga woo

If i am an anal scratching, nose picking snob,
then dont eat my karipap, for it will be as filthy as i am,
containing biological salt in it, u'll puke right after.
(If u know lah kan^^ heheh)
If i am a homo or a lez, then so does my singing.
And what does songs do? it gets into your head till u
can feel the expression in your heart,
the passion, the sorrow, the feeling.
(there is a different between those who sings his
heart out and those who sing from a piece of paper
of jotted down lyrics.. they sound different)

Ever got hooked down with a song till u'r listening
it over and over for 3 hours straight?

Ever cried over a song that u found exactly
tally with your current feeling?

Ever hate a song just because it remind u of someone?
till u actually felt your heart pumping jelly instead
of blood.. and every heart beat is an effort.
Throbbing your rib cage like its gonna blow.

Then i say that he is right,
the singer does effect the listener,
what say u pocketeers?
do we have to hate a singer just because ...
...she drinks?
...he is gay?
...they're a devil worshiper?
...she got married with the wrong guy and they broke up?
hummmmmmmmmm

How i hope Faizal tahir is a straight guy

Saturday, February 06, 2010

262. PocketPeriod...

...Pat bulan sekali harap harapnyer lah:D
So dibawah ni adalah rekod perdarahan pocket setakat ni,
pathetic kan, alahai dik sikit nyeeerrr!! kata sesetengah dari anda..
ok zara jangan banyak bunyi, pocket tahu perdarahan kamu
lebih banyak..
actually banyak lagi.. tp yg lain tu tak der rekod..
(Eleeehhh, kalau tak der rekod tu tak der la tu.. nak muhong saper!!?)
Tujuan utama pocket menulis blog adalah untuk mengubah dunia.
angan angan besar untuk pocket yang kecil ni.. and somehow pocket
rase memang berkesan.. atleast this blog changed my world. yours?
well i am working on that.. one post at time :D
jadi untuk mengubah dunia pocket, dan dunia sebenar...
pocket rase tak salah kalau pocket cuba ngan melakukan pendarahan
berkala ni dan sekaligus berkempen untuk rakan rakan lain menderma.
(actually giving and not just saying about it without doing anything)
so pocket nak wat pertandingan..
sapa yg menderma selepas pocket,
sila taruk dlm ruang komen saying 'i did it!'
with the link to your blog showing your
blood transfer record.

the first one win an RM10 worth of McD voucher
atau!!
sekeping pengepit kuku :D

Positif nyer :
-tabung darah malaysia yang untung
-harap harap nya ada la 6 orang berusaha nak menang,
-6 orang tu pun wat camni, pastinya tabung darah malaysia kaya ujung bulan ni
heheh

Negatif nyer :
-kiter tak untung pun :(
-nam orang usaha, sorang jer menang..
(Tu yg bagus tu, atleast tabung darah malaysia dah ada nam darah lebih dah)
-buleh wat pat bulan skali jer ^^ (eh pat ker tiga?)
-org yg A negative tak leh join :D sebab diorang special

so sapa nak menang? sila gi hospital berdekatan weekend ni :D

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

261. Kata Orang Tua Tua

A quick post,
Bebaru ni ada post tentang pesan orang tua tua
that turns out to be true and even explainable
biologically chemically, how i hope none of our
'pesan-orang-tua-tua' need quantum physics just
to explain mengapa masa buat tapai tak buleh tegur,
atau kenapa penggali kubur tak buleh pakai
seluar dalam menggali kubur.

teringatkan tajuk ini, maktuk sampai sekarang
masih lagi kalau mandi, akan dicepuk cepuk kan
pintalan kain basah dia ke badan nya sendiri.
lepas mandi jer mesti dgr...
Phaaakkkk!!! Phaaakkkk!! siup..phaakkk!!
'adeehhhh, terlebih hawin pulak'

kata maktuk petua tersebut adalah untuk menyihatkan
sendi sendi seluruh badan,
'Tapi kenapa maktuk? apa yang jadi kalau tepuk?'
'Masa tepuk tu, hang pukui kuat kuat kira macam masaj la,
tendon hang antara tulang tu akan jadi lagi kuat,
hang tengok aku ni, dah 80 pun zoo taiping tu skali henjut
jer aku pusing'
(Ok she didnt use the word 'tendon', i just used the word to explain better)

Pernah dgr yang ni?
Pocket rase pastinya petua ni tak sampai kat kita,
pasal berapa kerat sangat la antara kita ni yg mandi
ngan kain basahan macam ramona rahman mandi
dlm fenomena tu?
kan?
kan?
Pocketeers?










Lariiiiiii!!! selamatkan diriiiiii!!! heheheh >:)

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

260. Drinking Right After...

Bebaru ni pocket ada citer pasal pesan datuk nenek tentang
jangan makan bersulam kan minuman, tak kisah la minuman
apa pun, hatta minum air kosong ker air ais ker,
tidak dinasihatkan katanya...
259. Dikasihani...

Pocket actually tak tau jgak benda ni, masa maktab dulu ada
la orang bg tau, so pocket pun try la buat tgk.. tp gagal..
somehow teh ais tu memang sedap kalau diminum sejurus
selepas ketulan ayam terakhir abih dikunyah.
lagipun, alasan yang diberikan adalah untuk tujuan kesihatan,
alaaaa.. masa tu pocket baru 16 17.. mana la nak kisah..

Then last year I've tried to do the same during my lunch time
ere at the factory, the guy infront of me asked...
'ai minum tak dak ka? mengkelan satgi..'
'laaa sunggoh jugak no, lupa!!'
was my reply trying to be hillarious.
'elleehh!! nak bagi tahan lama la tuuu,
nak tahan lama mana sangat ooiii' was his reply...
So men also have this theory that if u keep fluids out of your
food untill 20 - 30 minute after finishing, then u'll have
a better hydraulic effect down there.
Now this definitely attracted me to try hoping that i am not too late:D

But why?
Health wise biologically explained would be :
...inside our stomach, there's Chemical used to process
the food we shoved in. Now as u guys well understand that
acid best works in its own kepekatan. Drinking right after
our meal would definitely be diluting the concentration
of the acid making it hard to process the food.
-Acid with its best concentration certainly be neutralizing
the food providing energy to the body right on time, when
our muscle needed it.
-Acid with less concentration would provide the energy much
later, and just so happen that when the energy is provided
while we're not needing it, the energy would become fat.
(if this is not true, tell me:D i'm not a doctor)
hence the tayar keter on my waist right now. hahah

May i add that our internal acid works best with its own temperature,
by adding ice cold water right after, makes things worst dont u think?

but that is for health concerns,
what about hydraulic-in-men issue?
Well badan yang sihat, otak yang cerdas,
hydraulic yang bagus lah kot.
its all about blood pressure anyway. heheheh^^;

so there u go Sis Penari, a bit of what i know.
pocketeers, any further theory, please do tell:D
(U can put it in the comment area or simply make
a post for your self, with my link there of course yeaa!! ^^)

I wonder what about mee bandung, laksa, bihun sup then? hummmmmm....