Wednesday, August 31, 2011

382. Wordless Wednesday

Selamat Hari Raya,
Related to the previous Post : 381. Kejamnyaaa...

Cantik kan,
Pocket who go to KFC to get served
by girls dressed up in raya theme.

Enjoy your meal sir :D

Saturday, August 27, 2011

381. Kejamnyaaa...

It has come the time of the year where we're
having pelita minyak tanah all over our house,
decoration here and there till its more than
what our pocket can actually afford.

And I have come to know that...
A new sofa,
A new LCD,
A new pagar
... is also a form of decoration that one actually
include inside the 'to-do-list'every raya.

As everybody know, when its Hari Raya,
the KFC or McD is actually allowing their staff
to wear their baju raya to work.
Now whether the management is 'allowing' or 'enforcing'
that is a different matter.
Bottom line is instead of their usual shirt tucked in
with slacks and belt with black tudong,
They're actually wearing bright color baju kurong,
kebarong cut to fit their waist line and shawl instead of tudong,
the dress material is too soft till u can see the strap inside,
or a see through material till u can see the skin colour.
anyway.. am loving it :D

(Keeping about 50 ringgit to spend with
the nephew in KFC on the 2nd day of shawal.)

Last year,
I was looking at the elegant staff
in their best baju raya working,
smiling, being attractive as usual
when i come to think..
How was the instruction?

'hari raya.. bla bla.. August 30th
please come with your best hari raya outfit..
bla bla ... the baju raya will be judge upon
registering in the morning...
The management however have full authorities
to refuse the staff attendance for the day....
should the baju raya was found inapropriate ... '

In actual word..
'Ala baju ni tak lawa la, u balik tukar!
kalau tak der baju lain, tak yah datang pun tak per'

...adalah amat lah kejamnyeeeee^^ sian adik tu.

Friday, August 26, 2011

380. Jatuh Coma,

'Nasik tu bagi abih sayang'...

...adalah SMS yang diterima,
uuu dah bersayang sayang...
Sejenak pocket yang akui
kelebihan diri ini ensem,
ter'perasan' sekejap.
Tambah plak sms dpt dari sidia
yang dikagumi, comel bak sang puteri,
lagi forbidden utk pocket nak usahakan.
Pergh!! hormon kenakalan meningkat!
Pocket teruja :D

Pocket pun mengarang,
butang henpon murahku, ku henyak henyak.
(Yer yer.. pocket tahu kamu semua tak pakai
butang dah.. touch screen daahh.. belagak aa!)
Sepotong ayat pocket abiskan,
ku habiskan dengan button 7 pat kali,
button 2 sekali,
button 9 tiga kali,
button 2 sekali
button 6 dua kali,
tak sempat nak gi button 4...

'Tiiittt, tiiiitttt'
Mesej baru diterima.
'nasik tu bagi abih,
sayang tau rezeki,
tak baik membazir...'

si penghantar tadi resend,

Thursday, August 25, 2011

379. Kempen Tak Menarik Laaa...

...sapa nak sahut?

baca blog kak jie (
pagi tadi n trus close window to open my faithful
and reliable NotePad. Yes, notepad is as dumb
as it look, but the best place for me to spill
my thought when i'm having the 'idea rush'
Kak!! saya tumpang gambo kak tau!! tumpang tau!!

katanya FAMA nak keluarkan kempen satu
rumah tiga pokok kelapa untuk menangani
masaalah kekurangan kelapa (Or Santan)
dimusim perayaan, respect FAMA..
ada keberanian nak bagi idea
walaupun mungkin diketawakan,
mungkin diperbodohkan,
mungkin menjatuhkan nama orang yg bijak pandai
kat FAMA kerana mengeluarkan such idea
yg rasanya buleh disangkal masyarakat ngan mudahnya.
tp atleast diorang berani gak nak bg idea.
jabatan lain ada? jabatan lain berani?
(Macam seorang BF yang nak mencadangkan kat
awek nyer yang pakai baju dinner cam kat hotel hotel tu,
ngan bahu dedah bagai, kain satin leret leret...
'kita makan kat KFC jer lah buleh tak?
reservation abang dioverwrite lah'

Tabung darah negara rasanya masih lagi low on blood.
everytime pocket gi derma darah,
(Standard schedule, bukan yg kempen kat shopping complex tu)
tak pernah pun pocket menderma ngan sorang lagi di katil sebelah.
mengharap la ada awek comel menderma sekali,
ada gak 20 minit peluang nak berkenalan.huh!
Tak nak kempen ker pihak spital sekalian?
stamp card!! (Dah wat dah, tp tak menarik..)
cukup 10 dpt kfc voucher ker..
cukup 20 buleh gi pulau pangkor,
hotel murahan ngan wit feri ditanggung.
cukup 100 buleh dinner ngan sultan.
(Sure tak kan ada yg buleh capai punyer..
umur 15 nak kna start menderma,
pencen kang baru buleh dinner ngan sultan)
Tapi menarikkan? daripada waiver RM1 masa
dapatkan rawatan pesakit luar tuu. huh!!

Tgk orang merokok sama jer ramainya..
yg merokok kat tpt awam pun ada lagi,
kamu disana, berani tegur pakcik tu kater..
'eh pakcik.. sini tak leh merokok lah'
kalau dlm library memang la brani,
pasal ekon dan kehadiran flammable kertas all over.
kalau kat tangga masjid rasanya tak.
mcm yg pocket komen kat blog kak jie,
‘kempen mari lempang perokok’
cari sorang kawan yg berani mati,
kawan itu perlu merekodkan tindakan anda melempang
seorang perokok yang merokok ditempat yang dilarang.
hadiah (Bermula dari RM30 ke RM400) akan diberikan
mengikut kekuatan bunyi ‘pang!!!’
ketika tangan anda hinggap ke pipi perokok tersebut.
your video will be review by our specialist.
Amacam? menarikkan?

Kesalahan lalulintas?
semua ada DSLR kan sekarang?
paling cikai pun henpon ngan 3.2Mb kamera,
RM20 untuk setiap satu gambar yang valid nombor kereta
terpampang sedang memotong di double line.
Buleh gak pocket wat wit raya nanti :D

Kempen 'TAK NAK' tu dah jadi apa dah yer pocketeers?

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

378. Sekilo Beraper Nii Cik?

'alaa kak mintak kurang la sikiit' something that is quite common
in the market or in the local stores
where one is buying things they dont
really need.

Low Yatt,
Pekan Rabu (Alor Setar)
or any store that is outside of big
shopping malls like jusco or tesco.
u cant haggle the price in those area..
u'll look like a fool.
'Err fix price la kakak'

Ever haggle the price off that shoe pocketeers?
Yes i think most of u have.
How much do u get anyway pocketeers?
From a shoe that cost u RM 35
5 ringgit the most? if u'r buying 2
maybe u can get it down to RM50.
that is RM25 each!!
RM10 discount for each?
That is fair enough.
But do u need another shoe?
(Dont ask the girls this,
they can have 6 pumps per season
and they're still looking for another)
I'd say u are the one who got tricked
by the seller. The shoe cost is RM15 anyway...
now the shoe seller got RM10 profit for each,
Which is low.. but he got to sell his shoe!
Another 98 pairs to go.

One more thing I come to sense about
customer haggling is that its not about
the RM2 less anymore.
Its not about u dont have any money
or u need the last RM2 for the bus fare.
Its about the game, who won and who loose.
Its a game of who puts the last agreed prices wins.
'Takkan ni 15 kot tauke! 8 dah la' basically aim for 50%
'haiyaa. mana buleh lapaan, cincai la bagi u 12! 12!'
'12!! mana ada 12!! sana kedai jual 10 sajaa..'
'ok ok laaahh.. 10 la kita bagi u'
'9 ringgit tak buleh?'
'satu ringgit pun nak kira ka!? ok lah ok lah!!
9 bagi lu, lu pi jauh jauh'
and the buyer won.
Pack the Handphone Charger with happiness
in your heart and the feeling of winning a bowling match,

I'm not saying that this is wrong,
The customer should ask for the best bargain.
But please be thoughtful when haggling,
be considerate.
They pay their bills by that shirt they're selling u.

...and for the seller, please add in the cost
if ever the customer should ask for lower price.
If he didnt ask till the end of the payment,
u can always return the change with an extra RM5 note.
The customer will think that he is special,
will definitely be returning to buy from u again.

...and for pengerusi majlis meminang,
sila jangan topap harga hantaran
ngan andaian pihak lelaki mesti
mintak kurang punyer.
buruk benor dok discuss harga hantaran
depan orang macam jual lembu,
sekilo kira berapa tu cik!!?


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

377. Lipas

Farid moved to a new house, a terrace with no stairs.
He was so happy about his new house, the wife too.
They bought all the required things in the house.
Furniture here and there..
Curtains with those fancy railings , pole and rings.
Kinda remind me of that pondan tailor who turns out
to be a great kungfu master in stephen chow's
kungfu hustler.

'Serious cantik gelang, bli mana beb?'
'haa.. ni custom made beb, tak jual punyaa.'

As a test to the newly wed,
it seems like that place is swarming with lipas.
So bad that there was nothing safe left uncovered.
A lipas at the back of every door and shelf,
Lipas running here and there,
sleeping with lipas jogging across the belly button.
It was the worst condition imaginable.

Oh they did try to exterminate the pest by themself,
(The cant afford the Exterminator so..)
They've tried everything..
Kept the place clean,
Daun pandan for the scent,
Cat to eat the lipas,
Frog to scare them,
but none prevail.

Depressed with his failure Farid buttoned up
his pagoda and went to seek his neighbour,
hoping for tips.
hoping for their kindness.
But to his dismay, they turned him down,
regardless of the neighbours floor was 'lipas'less
No lipas scent around. He even went for a chitchat
in the kitchen hoping to see any lipas's eggs but
none found.
They told him that they did nothing about the lipas,
for them lipas was never an issue.
in aching ears he listened to their lies,
Smiled and nodded.
He knew it! there got to be something!

Chin down to his chest, eyes to the floor,
he went back and sleep the night off with lipas
licking his lips for any trace of food.
Poor farid.

That was the story farid told me...
and he finishes his story with a complain..
'aku bukan apa pocket, aku cuma nakkan keadilan,
kalau ada cara tu, tak yah la buat kan..
kita share la lipas tu sama sama...
kot kot la 50% lipas aku buleh gi umah depa..
baru la adil n saksama..
baru la masyarakat berjiran, tak gitu?'
he said with his serious face like he meant it.

Eh? silap kot tu farid...
silap tu...

Monday, August 22, 2011

376. Baju Raya RM200

Yes yes, untuk adik adik yang comel lagi indah,
Pasti biasa menyaluti tubuh itu dengan kain satin
atau sutera yang susah susah ulat tu dok buat...
Ngan potongan kebarung or kebaya,
bersulam lagi ngan bunga bunga nyer lagi,
atau batik canting yg ditempah,
memang la biasa ngan sepasang
yg berharga RM200, malah mungkin lebih.

Tapi pocket adalah seorang lelaki
yang last beli baju adalah awal tahun
dulu, dah tu plak beli kat FOS ngan harga
23 hinggit. Memang la jauh panggang dari api
nak beli baju baru yang sehelai RM200.
Baju lama buleh pakai lagi, buruk? yes,
tapi buleh pakai lagi.
Nak membeli baju baru hanya sempena
ngan nama raya.. tak kot,
nak amik sunat pagi raya?
Pagoda dok ada.

Mengetahui perkara ini,
Mama pocket mengambil langkah inisiatif
membelikan pocket baju raya.
Yeaaaaa!! syok nya tak terhingga.
Pocket paham yang pocket ni dah terlalu tua
nak dibelikan baju raya, tp dah orang nak bli...
Terima jer lah..
Ahad lepas, ikut mama gi butik.
Serious terasa cam darjah dua balik.
Disitu pocket disuruh pilih,
Pocket macam biasa cari yang paling simple.
bukan kerana pocket ni bad taste,
tapi pasal pocket tak nak 'ketuk' mama banyak
sangat. Yang lawa lawa mencecah riban riban

Baju baju kat butik tu mahal mahal!!
n here it is, baju raya pocket...
RM200 tu beb!! bangga siot!!

Tak cukup ngan baju raya,
Mama kata kena beli aksesori lain
supaya anak nya nampak ensem,
aksesori tangan yang pocket dapat.. yeaaaa!!
lawa tak?

Dah, baju dah ada, aksesori dah ada..
Ini dia songkok utk raya tahun ni!!
Bagi kamu yang memang selalu beli 'songkok'
macam ni mungkin kamu merasakan 'songkok'
ni biasa... tp bagi pocket ni abih hebat dah!!
Terasa cam nak pakai tak nak buang dah woo!!
(Current songkok yg 60 hinggit tu jer,
skadar tak nak bagi JPJ tahan)

motor pocket tak matching
ngan baju ni, almaklumlah,
EX5 cabuk jer... abih laju
buleh gi pun 70 km/j jer poon..
Adehlaaa.. kena tukar motor

pocketeers, dah shopping raya?

Sunday, August 21, 2011

375. ...anganku musnah...

Otak pocket ada akalnya sendiri.
Dia buleh pikir tanpa input dari pocket.
Dan pemikiran nya selalu negatively baik.
Pocket kekadang berfantasi,
tapi setiap kali pocket berfantasi,
mesti minda ni menggagalkan jalan cerita,

Berfantasi memandu laju ngan moto tak pun keta,
keter pocket yg maju lagi mahal, perariker.
Tgh menikmati bunyi injin yg besh deruman nya,
kancil dihadapan terpancit tayarnya
terus terbabas menghentam devider,
pocket tak sempat mengelak bumper,
sterring ku kilas, pusing ke kanan,
tanpa ku lihat permandanganan hadapan
terus jatuh gaung, tanpa belas kasihan..
matii ...oooiiihhh!!

Berfantasi pocket menjadi jutawan,
rumah indah cantik bergemerlapan,
ruang tamu sebesar court bola keranjang,
ngan chandelier sebesor orang,
drapes and curtains, 8feet aquarium!!
syok minum teh kat second living room,
tekejut pocket ngan panggilan talipon,
negara kita perang!! selamatkan diri!!
pocket sembunyi naik lori,
kesempadan siam pocket menanti,
ngan segalas beg, wang seguni,
tapi tiada guna kalau tak der kedai.
daaah nak makan kena memburu tupai.

Berfantasi pocket berjumpa kamu,
ngan keter mewah pocket menunggu,
kamu indah berbaju ungu,
tersenyum indah menusuk kalbu,
dinner kita di italian restoren,
dimeja indah bersalut kain,
pinggan camca tersusun rapi,
waiter dua orang tegak berdiri,
kita berbual mesra, bergelak ketawa,
kamu indah disinari cahaya,
kugagahkan tangan mencapai jejari mu,
'Dong!!' kata terbuka pintu,
disitu berdiri lelaki jambu,
wajah mu panic, lidah mu kelu,
perkenalan dibuat, rupanya suamimu..
OOiiii!! (pocket tak kisah actually >:)

minda oh minda,
kita berfantasi ngan happy ending buleh tak?

Friday, August 19, 2011

374. The Waving Hare

This story somehow stayed in my mind,
A joke MrG told me, wonder if i've ever told u before,
I'm sorry if I have (Then this will be a double post)
but for those who never heard this before,
here it is.
Cheer up will ya,
weekend is right after these few hours.

Two guys were driving, one short another was tall.
They were listening to the bonjovi's song
over and over again, talking about their life and
discussing their past sins..
Well what else can a guy talk about?

As they were driving the long straight road by the woods,
a hare jump out of nowhere trying to cross the road.
As what u'd thought would happen, they hit the hare.
Down the hare goes tumbling a few time to stop still
on the ground.
Down the hare goes tumbling...

The tall guy stop the car, got out and went running to the
injured hare. The hare was breathing heavily trying its best
to live a second more.. or a few second more.. hoping for his
wife to come along maybe, to tell her that he love her. We
dont know this.. Not related to the story, lets ignore.

The tall guy pittied the little fella, he tried heart
massaging, CPR, aqupunture and everything a person can to
revive the poor thing, but non prevails.
As he was about to give up ad start to read the hare's
talkin... The short guy got up and went to the car's trunk
bringing back with him a weird looking bottle.

He emptied the bottle content onto the hare's body
and massage it a little bit, and so they wait.
Not long after that, the hare start to twitch,
the eyes start to open, some sound coming
from the hare, and before u know it, its starting to
come about and run its way to the woods.

But the strangest thing happen, the hare stop every 10step
to look back and wave its hand like i'm waving u good bye.
he run again and by the 20th step, he stop again and wave,
maybe he's trying to say thank you?
kept on doing the same thing till u cant see
him anymore lost in the darkness of the woods.

The tall guy interested in what was the bottle content asked
his friend. The short guy just smile and show the bottle label
that says..

"Hair Restorer With Permanent Wave"

Heheheh :D
Happy Weekend Pocketeers,
see u next week

Thursday, August 18, 2011

373. Survival Tips No.1

I have stumble upon a situation that i felt i should share
this survival tips, not that i am that good or i have been
surviving that long.
Its just that i know..
To the deepest part in my core i know..
That this would be useful to someone ,
be it the positive or the negative way.
Nak pisau camniiii!!!

Survival tips no 1 : The Kit
Two Handphones.
men should have 2 handphone in order to survive.
this is to ensure that u can still be called by your family
even if u 'off' your other handphone.
why do u need to 'off' your handphone?
It is so that ladies from group no 1,
cant call u when u're with ladies from group no 2.

A Data Log.
(Only accessable by one party and that is u)
One can only keep one or two data in our mind,
U can always remember one birthday..
Imagine u have to remember 4 birthdays,
4 favorite foods,
4 favorite colours..
now don't let me start on the old stories,
painful memories from one,
which actually about the same with the second one..
u can juggle all of em? well i cant.
cause i'm slow and this memory bank
cant keep up anymore.
So if u wanna be a good player,
u need to be a good listener,
a good listener remembers...
How to remember without a
note book to jot down details?

hey hey.. look at the time,
its nearing 1am and i'm still up.
i'll sambung again next time ya pocketeers,
let this be a series of tips to survive.
if u have any.. tell it here.. i'll post it for u:D

Men lies,
Men have secrets,
Men hide,
Men deceive,
Just for the sake of one thing.
Just for the sake of not hurting u.
The one we trully love.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

372. Wordless Wednesday?

'Kenapa u masam sangat nii..'
Mendengus marah sambil memalingkan
wajah nya kearah jalan. Kereta tak putus lalu.
Saja jer nak jual mahal,
dalam hati tu nak senyum dah,
dalam hati tu dah sejuk dah.
Duka dihati semalam dah terubat dah.
Nak wat camana.. kecuaian sendiri gak.
Gelang kaki hilang jadi hukuman

'Sayang jangan la maraah, abang lambat jemput pagi tadi sebab abang
overslept, semalam abang dok carikkan gelang kaki u kat padang bola.
Jumpak dah ni haaa..' Explain CikAbang yang nyata sekali tak cukup tido.
'Jumpak? Mana?' Senyuman CikAdikmula menguntum.
'Tetengah padang nu haa, ni I bagi u ok..'
Terus senyuman semanis gula terpancar tanpa sengaja.

'haaa.. kan sweet kalau senyum gitu...
tadi masam.. skrg dah manis plak?'
Cik Abang mengusik.

'I Kan Sweet Sour'

tak der kena mengena langsung kan.
nampak sangat pulun wat cerita
just to match the photo kan hahahah

Moral : Jaga typo yer!! Tambah tambah kat papan tanda restoran.

371. NailCleaning

...and so i've posted about looking out for my appearance
in my last post 370. The Lady ..
This decision i made just for the sake of appearing beautiful
in the eyes of the viewer. u can be men , woman or half.
Although the estrogen inside me is not enough for me
to consider weekly facial is a must,
I'll start by washing my socks more frequently first.
twice a week maybe... how about u guys?

Along this effort towards beauty,
I have found a shortcut in cleaning my fingernails.
its not to polish it or to put any colour onto it..
its just plain cleaning any form of dark substance
accumulated under the fingernails after we men garu
here and there.
Comparing to girls, we do garu more.
U girls just poke the itchy area using a pencil or
something cause your kuku is too long to reach
inside anyway.

Anyway.. the short cut.
... is to wash your rice the manual traditional way
slightly longer then usual. Convenient ha? yes, hear me out.
Put 2 pots of rice and sink them in water,
and start squishing, grabbing, ramas ramas
and pour the water away.
The rice grain would be small enough to penetrate
your fingernail to clean it and the water will be used
to dilute the dark substance i've mentioned.

After your finger is clean,
put the periuk in the electric rice cooker and push
the 'Cook' button 40 minutes before iftar. walla!!

U'll get two in one!
a clean finger..
and nasi for berbuka :D
nice ha :D

i'm thinking about the kuku kaki now.. camana ha? hehehehehe

Sunday, August 14, 2011

370. TheLady...

... in the white top.
i was parking near a pasar ramadan today when i saw the lady
driver who parked infront of me was coming out and opening the
back seat to take her baby out of the baby seat. there was
other passenger too, a 4 years old kid who really listen to
her mothers instructions. This i got from her gesture when
coming out of the car, holding her mother's hand. and cross
the street politely.

dik, (definitely younger then me regardless of the package)
abang buleh temankan.. nak?

what attracted me to this lady was her body..
(ooii.. direct nyer ko tulis, tak leh berkias kias sikit ker?)
ok, what attracted me was her appearance, she wore a baggy
jeans with tight top, her deltoid was obvious and so does her
pectoral latimus, i could almost swear out of the shadow that
decorated her white top, i saw a line separated her abs just
like how it should be in diagrams about anatomy.
A slight line, nutting much. but u know its there..

she is a tall lady with long straight hair, and her baggy
jeans could not hide the perfectly shapes gluteus maximus.
i think she must be a gym instructor to ever posses such contour.

Gambar Hiasan Okeh.. tp lebih kurang lah kot..

ok enough describing her, posa woi! posa!!
what i wanna point out would be that ladies are trying their
best to appear beautiful in our view or scenery. They wear
their best, they work their leg off in the gymnasium and they
even bought those nutrition suplement that make u visit
the loo every 24minutes. just to look beautiful.
even if not all ladies are like that,
i'd say 7 out of most part of malaysia.
98 out of 100 if the statistic is taken from KLCC.
atleast they clean their face with a suitable facial washer.
not like me who forgot how does it feels like to wash my face.

why cant we men do it?
why cant we men hit the gym a bit..
why cant we men clean our finger nails a bit..
why am i saying this?
just go on to the nearest shopping complex to you.
observe from 100 male over the age of 30,
how do they look like?
in KL maybe the rating is higher,
but here in penang.. i'd say 50% dont give a damn if the zip
is chucked up or not. (this is metaforically talking ok,
ofcourse they dont want dat to happen kan)
another 25% cant remember his own weight.
another 23% cant remember what size is his own undies,
2% would be a metrosexual guy sesat,

that is the thing,
i think lately men are taking 'Rupa tak penting,
yang penting hati budi' too much till they practically
dont care about their smell. or their 'daki' or the
minyak they apply on their hair.
why cant we be more like the ladies,
who buy support garment that cost hundreds,
and have them 5 pcs per season. while we men owns
one talipinggang for nine years.
Ladies who even if they dont go to the gym,
they still wear their baju with matching colours.
Proper tudong like they're wearing it for a purpose.
to look beautiful.
not like us men who wear a half pants with a kemeja...
and a sport shoes. adehlaaa...

so there u go pocketeers,
an opinion from looking at that lady with the white top.
a sense of metrosexual is rushing into me,
pedicure ke pas ni?
dumbell dulu kot..
bila last pocket beli baju yer?
tak ingat..

Saturday, August 13, 2011

369. Belog Lis...

...pocket tak berfungsi. :(
so pocketeers, kamu suma memiliki BelogLis kan?
satu blog kamu yg kamu simpan semua link yg aktif
menggunakan application BelogLis untuk memantau
favorite blog nyer update status kan..

Pocket pun ada..
tapi jangan la usaha nak gi,
pocket tak open for all reader.
pasal ada gak page yg tak senonoh dlm tu
yg tak nak bagi korang tgk.
plus.. nanti kamu tahu lah siapa kakak yang pocket
maksudkan dalam post : 360.FallingForU

so macam tu lah pocket nak terus bertandang ke blog
kamu, kamu dan kamu sekalian.. kalau nak harap
bertandang kosong jer gitu, mungkin tak terlarat
nak bertandang lah kan.
takut tak tertandang. so!! BelogLis memang best.

kebelakangan ni biarpun BelogLis pocket tak menunjukkan
kamu post something new, kalau pocket gi jgak.. kamu dah
post something, 4 hours ago!! eh?
dari tadi pocket dok click button Refresh tu.. tak der pon..
dok tak dok kamu dah post!?
apa cerita?

BelogLis tak leh harap!!

So!! sepertimana yang pocket dah explain kat cik Ryehanna
dalam post dia : Invite lah saya....
TomyPocketeers tu adalah pocket nyer beloglis,
kalau nampak dalam link monitoring kamu, tahulah sendiri
yg pocket dok gi sana sehari pat blas kali tru my beloglis:D
(More like 2 kali jer kot)

macam mana la mereka yang hebat hebat blogging
nak gi melawat follower yang 10 ribu lebih tu yer?
sempat ker?

PS: Dok click refresh button berulang ulang kali macam mak zukebeg
dalam filem 'thesocialNetwork' masa dia add ExGF dia as friends.
Tekan refresh mengharapkan approval.
pocket tekan refresh mengharapkan post kamu.
yes kamu sorang jer, dan kamu tahu siapa kamu :D

Thursday, August 11, 2011

368. KalauHati Nak..

dialog i had the other day...

'kenapa? u suka dia ker?'
'eh mana ada!! dia ngan i just kenalan jer,
lagi pun dia pa
nggil i kakak lagi.. tak mungkin
apa apa nak tercetus antara kami'

'amboi.. penafian tak hengat nampak..
dia macam mana? dia suka u tak?'
'tak der lah!! i ngan dia tu kawan jer..
dia panggil i kakak kan,
lagi pun dia
dah beristeri..
mana mungkin'

...adalah dialog pocket ngan
sorang kawan yg berselingkuh :D

Citernyer pocketeers,
kita ni daging yang lemah,
kita bukan malaikat yang tiada nafsu,
kalau kita nak kan sidia, tak kisah lah
camana pun status dia, kita tetap nak.
(Dapat ker tak, lain cerita ok..
pocket nak BMW 5series,
tp tak dapat dapat pun..)
dan kalau kita nak,
kita impikan sidia tu siang malam.

Si dia bukan untuk ku,
alasan nya mungkin banyak,
mungkin satu.. dia dah berpunya,
dia jauh, dia tak suka aku?
dia terlalu 'mahal'
memilikinya merbahayakan kesihatan,
sekangan undang undang. Peraturan agama.
biarpun apa alasan yang diletakkan didepan kita.
kalau nak tu, nak jugak.. Betul tak?

Si dia bukan untuk ku,
dengan alasan alasan tadi mampulah mata ini
tertutup dimalam hari, terus menzikirkan
kepada diri ini kenapa kau bukan milik ku,
kamu dah berpunya,
kamu jual 'mahal'
kamu terlalu comel,
halangan agama, halangan undang undang...
kita tak leh bersama tanpa 'lesen'

Tapi.. nafsu ini selalunya menang.
kamu tetap muncul dalam mimpi sedarku,
ku bayang kan jari kita bertautan.
tubuh mu ku belai, memahami satu sama lain,
tempat tempat yang akan kita lawati,
bandar bandar? KLCC? bandar singa?
kampung kampung?
suaramu, bagaikan muzik ditelinga ini,
Akan ku jaga dirimu bagaikan puteri,
Takkan kubiarkan kamu sejuk,
Takkan kubiarkan kamu panas, ini janji ku.

'Aaaah sudah lah pocket, bangun dari mimpi mu,
kamu tahu kamu tak setaraf, dia jauh, kamu tak mampu'

adalah kata kata diri sendiri untuk meredakan runtunan hati.
kata lah pocket, halang lah, talk some sense to me,
kalau dihati kamu ada cinta, biarpun terlarang,
mahumu tetap satu kan.. tetap dia,
laki orang? bini orang? berbeza bangsa, agama?
apa lah sangat banding ngan cinta yang bagai
tulang ikan dalam hati ini.
Menusuk hati sampai terasa sakit. sampai kau
pekup tulang rusuk kiri mu.. terasa sakit.
kamu tahu dihatimu ada cinta,
dihatimu, kamu mahu.

aku tahu, jika aku berkerja lebih,
OT lebih sikit, McD dimalam hari mungkin?
pastinya hari akad nikah ku akan tiba,
tapi tunggu.. kalau tak dengan 'lesen' pun..
aku tetap nak. dan aku tahu dia OK.
nakal nakal jom,

Pocket mahu kamu cik adik hitam manis, nakal nakal jom >:D

Naaaaaakkkk!!! yang betul punya!! nak buat sidai kain.. (Tak lah kan..)

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

367. WordlessWednesday...

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

366. LimaKupang 2

Pocketeers, its tuesday, and i hope i can post a
'Wordless Wednesday' tomorrow. So here goes...
sambungan to the 365.LimaKupang story before.

...licking our finger on nasik that was not paid.

After the recess ended, we went to see Zaini,
he was already behind his desk waiting for the
'Banguuuuunnnn... selamat pagi cikgu' all by himself.
We asked him, if we were to pay for the nasik,
how much would it be. 'Lima Kupang!' was his reply.
(Do bear in mind that this was 20years ago)
We paid and we ordered another batch tomorrow.
He smiled and kept his promise.

After 3 days of daily nasik to us, Zaini's nasik increased.
started from 6 pack on tuesday, 8 pack on wednesday,
12 pack by thursday, and went double by the week after.
People saw him bringing the nasik,
people saw us eating em, people asked around.
its way better then to spend in the school canteen
where the ajinomoto is so richly used,
u'll be dehydrated till the end of the day.
Everybody started to order from him,
after a while. Zaini would appear in the class room
with 3 big plastic bags of nasik nearing 40 packs.

We still order, we still pay, lima kupang.
But our nasik would be different,
there is always something extra,
a piece of fried chicken wing, Drummet u call em?
Or three piece of beef from the gulai by the size
of a 20cents syiling,
or half of a small ikan temenung goreng.
It was not much but somehow we took
it as a gesture of gratitude from zaini's mother
to the guy who bullied her son by eating his rice.

It was not springtime all year long for zaini, winter came.
The canteen stopped him one day and told him
that he's not suppose to sell nasik to students
by himself. They told him to put the three big bags
of nasik on the canteen counter instead.
With the Cikgu displin by their side, zaini nodded.

They kept his nasik at the back of the counter
and told him that no one wanna buy his nasik
by the end of the day. This goes on for 3 days till
he stop bringing those nasik to the canteen anymore,
he started to bring em in his school bag,
They strip those too. waited for him by the school gate
forcing him to show the content of his bags.
he couldnt complaint much,
he's just a student trying to make his way along.
This wall of obstacle might be too high for him
to hop over.. and so he stop.

I could not remember much about Zaini then after,
I do remember hearing that his mother went full time into
the nasik business, confident enough to set up a small table
with a parasol, upgraded to a small pondok by the road
selling her nasik.
And i heard she's doing fine by herself.
Heard that Zaini ended up in a good school,
couldnt remember where but i know he's not
wearing those shirt with holes patched all
over anymore.

There u go pocketeers, a piece of my memory,
story about bullies from my school time.
bullied anyone lately pocketeers?

Monday, August 08, 2011

365. LimaKupang

it was 1990's, sekolah menengah with white shirt,
green pants and the songkok. me and the guys were
walking by the school park when we saw zaini,
a poor guy who always wore a second hand
school shirt with the hole for the name tag
was so big that u can put a finger through it,
a broken down bicycle without the chain cover,
his green school pants is filthy with the oil stain.

we approached him.
he was opening a nasi bungkus badly wrapped
in plastic and newspaper. seeing this,
just for fun, we decided to eat his rice.
yes and that was what we did.
we took his rice from his hand.
he didnt say anything,
he was either too afraid of us,,
or he might as well be having another one
stashed inside his bag. he just looked at
his rice being eaten by four hungry thugs.
i am not proud of this pocketeers,
but this is the story.
it was a normal nasi puteh with gulai and
some sambal tumis ikan bilis.
there was a fried egg too.
regardless of the nasik's simplicity,
it was delicious, the curry got a tint of
ikan masin flavour in it,
the telur goreng was perfectly cooked,
hard outer with soft and somewhat raw inner.

realizing this, the harassment continues...
'zaini.. waaa sedap la nasik kak hang buat'
'bukan kak.. mak saya buat.'
'oooo mak hang buat juai (jual) ka?'
'dak.. mak buat bagi kami bawak bekai (Bekal)'
'umph!! sedap!! kami suka!! kami nak!!
besok aku nak hang buat lagi sebijik macam ni jgak
pat bungkuih. buleh kan?'wfierce intonation
Grabbing him by his shirt collar,
fist clenched to the left jaw. he nodded.

The next day he kept his promise,
he brought us nasik.
we didnt hope for the nasik though,
we thought we could harass him again
since he didnt obey. but no he did,
4 pack of nasik badly wrapped in newspaper.
we got the nasik,we ate the nasik,
and oh my how we luved the taste of a home cooked meal
like that, i dont know how was zaini's explaination
to his mother, but there we were..
licking our finger on nasik that was not paid.

Jahat kan.. humm hummmm


364. Alasssaaaannn!!

Alasan adalah sebab, begitu jugak sebalik nya.
Tapi heran kenapa perkataan 'alasan' tu selalu
dikaitkan ngan percubaan penipuan atau...
satu sebab yang diberikan hanya untuk menjawab

The truth is.. memang la nak menjawab soalan kan.
dah tu?

Contoh : Bila orang tanya dengan marah marah nya,
'Kenapa U lambat semalam?'
Dijawabnya sebab yg betul lah kan..
'I xciden, I tak leh nak call u, henpon I orang amik..
I pengsan so dompet i pun diorang copek'
'Alaaahhh.. alasan'

loh kesitu plak?

Ada satu mamat ni glamour la kat jepung dulu ngan
lagu lagu yang dia tulis sendiri.lagu lagu dia menyentuh
perasaan, lirik yang mudah dipahami dan di relatekan
dengan kehidupan pendengar.
Antara lagu dia yg glamer adalah
'i love u'.
Sekali tu dia actually menyanyi atas pentas ngan isteri
tersayang disuluh lampu kat tempat duduk penonton.
punya la penuh perasaan nya.
Of course si isteri nya pun 'hujan' lah kan.

Tapi mamat ni somehow gi buat tindakan buduh untuk
menamatkan riwayat sendiri di usia muda.
Lantak kamu lah, pocket tak kisah sangat pon.
dia mati, pocket tak untung apa pun other then
kalau dia tak mati, post ni pun tak jadi citer
la kan.
Cerita yang pocket dengar dari kawan kawan pocket
masa kat sana adalah bahawa ada surat yang pihak
media jumpa terselit dalam diari dia.
Surat yang menyatakan alasan kenapa dia bertindak
sedemikian rupa.

'Aku tak mahu menjadi dewasa,
kedewasaan memaksa aku menulis lagu untuk hidup'

Pergh!! punya la bagus alasan :D

Anyway pocketeers,
Apa sebab kamu tak puasa ari ni?
Well most of u puasa so...
Apa sebab kamu puasa hari ni?
(relative to what i've commented in Jay's post : Broken Promises)

Friday, August 05, 2011

363. DropDead

It is the 5th of ramadhan meaning that there were
5 times of 'BerbukaPosa' i enjoyed,
5 times of 'sahur' i ate with my eye half open.
5 times of terawikh that i've missed.

the truth is, i've slept right after my solat maghrib
and slept away to my housemate wake up call for sahur.
i havent been contributing on washing the dishes,
i havent been looking at the fishes that i kept,
i even left the 3 x 1.5 x 6 feet rack left un assembled
for nearly 4 days already.

this is getting out of hand, i thought it was the nasi,
i didnt ate any nasi last night.
it was just 6 cut of watermelon
and 6 cut of honeydew.
One cut was about 3cm cube.
one chapati, (Finish out the kuah kacang parpu down
to licking the bowl) and that was it.
a cup of milo.

alamaaakkk.. no nasi and i'm still pening pening after
berbuka puasa. felt the tiredness pulling me to
drop dead on the floor.
Oh the housemates did tried to wake me up alright.
but this pile of meat and bones didnt even budged.

oh pocketeers, what should i do?
berbuka ngan kopi kot!?
taruk tongkat ali ka seround.
or for a few days, i should berbuka di masjid,
surely i wont go drop dead right?
(But if i do then it'll be more hazardous..
the dompet! the dompet!)

pocketeers how was your day so far?

Thursday, August 04, 2011

362. WayangKulet

Pocketeers, how is your week?
its the fourth day of posa, i guess most of us wont
feel that hungry anymore... yes?
doing good so far? well good for u.
me? i've been cutting my self up the whole week,
now i cant feel hungry anymore from the pain all

anyway, what i will write down below is a little bit
annoying and i hope u guys dont go jumping up
and down calling me a freak or a perv before
u could hear me out.
i dont wanna elaborate from point to point in a
normal karangan way, but i will put point form instead.
easier to read ... kot

1) Lately, there is less klivej and skin
in the net and i am not loving it at all.
it is actually good!! in a good way and healthy
community of muslimah way it is good.
but the noty me says otherwise.
Previously its one after another...
everyone is racing to show, or to camwhore..
Ladies are wearing their baju so low in the chest
that i could swear i 'm starting to notice a change
of skin colour already. <-please kuningkan otak anda
untuk memahami ayat ni.
HotPants here and there.. and even bikini's.
oh those days of blogging.. how i miss those days.
but nowadays ... its after 10 blogs of bloghopping,
then only can u find one. that is if u'r lucky. pergh!!!
but pocket, i tot u can still look for those 'NotyPicture'
from a foreign site. well now that is a question
for another point to be answer.

2) I think its something about the religious prohibition
that makes their pic worth more, not to forget
one particular race that despice skin, shape, colour exposure.
that makes the pic even sweeter dont u think?
klivej or nice legs? u can always search for any
Non Muslim blog dat the owner luv to dress up
for the night life. easy right?
but in this demented opinion of the pocket,
by looking at someone's hair from the internet
knowing that she actually wears tudong in her
normal everyday attire brings out the wave in
the bloodstream. its like knowing a secret.
secret are always fun right?
makes u feel special.
shh.. u jangan bagi tau orang tau.. ni kita dua jer.

3) Rahsia, i have a rahsia to share,
regardless of the noty me who are tormented from
not getting any sexy pic lately. I still think it is going
to a better custom. Where girls no longer need to be
sexy just to look good or to attract reader.
Where u can look at a ladies pic for more then
20 second just because she is plain beautiful without
the sexiness.
kinda felt safe.. my future daughter, may look like
this if i teach her wearing her tudung properly,
and for that i am thankful (Syukur).

now now for those non muslim who are reading this,
please dont be alarm, i am not in anyway despise u guys.
u guys are beautiful in your own way:D and i still need
a miligram or two of 'sexy' dosage every now and then.

but pocketeers, if anybody would ask, i would definitely say..
'punya la boring kebelakangan ni, dah kurang dah gambo
awek comel comel yg sexy sexy dlm net lg.. hoh!!'
even though deep inside, i thank those ladies who make
wearing tudung look beautiful, who changed the course
and perception of being beautiful from sexiness..
to secretive beauty.


Monday, August 01, 2011

361. PutchiFeeling

Putchi is a japanese translation for
the french word 'Petite' which
means small or insignificant.
They pair this 'Putchi' word with
a noun to describe how small was
the 'Noun'

Easily explain by giving u
an example.
Putchi Happiness is when u felt an
oblivious happiness so small that most
people wont even turn their head even
if it scream.

whatever.. anyway.. here is a list of my putchi feeling lately.
(Am posting it after finally i figured out the word to describe this)

Putchi Relief like the relief u felt after pulling that piece of meat stuck in your teeth after eating rendang. The feeling when a huge chunk is finally out of the hole in your teeth, the hollow feeling. now the pain is over.
oh what a relief. aaaaaaahhhhhh...

Putchi Bangga when u pulled out a chunk of taik idong from your nose, round and ball them up into 3 mm diameter of dunk and flick it over to the table next to you, it is so massive (in taik iduong point of view) that it makes sound as it lands on the table.

Putchi Malu when u were approaching your bike, take out the key, cursing the sampah people left in your basket. Just as u're thinking to pour down the sampah away that u've realize that it was not your bike.
Eh! motor aku sana laaa.. adehhhh...

Putchi Revolted when u were having phlegm in your throat. U suck it out and spit it to the longkang, u were not that lucky, your aim missed, it landed on your mother's pokok pam's leaf. The green gooey stuff didnt stay on the leaf, it dripped down, like a thick melted chocolate they put in van houten comercial..

Putchi Disapointment when u sms your wife/spouse/GF of your life about something sad that just happen, and the reply was 44 minute later. ohh... what's the point of a hand phone if u dont have them in your hand.

Putchi Spark of Love when your kekasih gelap replied first. heheh:D