Tuesday, January 31, 2012

518. WW : Awal 4 minit jer...

Is it too early for a wordless Wednesday?

Pergh!! kalau la pocket awal sikit kan...
ohh rugi rugi!!

Clue: all the passenger exceeds 'drinking-age'
or atleast they seems to be :D

Monday, January 30, 2012

517. ShortCut 14km


u wanna cook,
but u dont know how to cook..
ohh find a book!
but the nearest book store is 14km away...

Short cut!
Seek up the internet.

Shorter cut!
makan jer luar!!
heheh.. kan senang,

U were watching the end half
of a movie from TV2..
u wanna know the story!
it was M.Night Syamalan's!!
so buy the DVD!
but the DVD selling stall is 14km away!
plus chances are a movie that old
wont be available anymore...

Short Cut!

Shorter Cut!!
read the synopsis out in IMDB!! :D

U wanna get married,
u dont have the girl to get married to.
ohh go ahead and flirt with the next girl
u see in the train!!
but the nearest train is 14km away..
plus.. chances are the next lady u'r
seing will be an indian makcik.

Short Cut!

Shorter Cut!!
janji ngan kawan,
'kalau ko tak kawin lagi atau tak
terlibat ngan hubungan by umur 30..
kita kawin nak?'
Janji ngan ramai sikit! 20 orang maybe.
consider 90% kawan kamu buleh kawin kalu...
ada la sorang dua peluang kan :D

so!! shorter cut untuk lelaki yang tak tau
menulis apa di pagi isnini aper yer? :D
tiru post orang? plagiat?
Tak tak.. ni bukan plagiat tau!
ni idea pocket :D purely!

happy monday people
i'm taking leave this rabu.. huh!!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

516. The Final Red Boat

Sambungan dari previous post :
515. TheRedBoat2
which started from :
514. TheRedBoat

Having my heart broken with a dream beyond
my hand to ever touch again, I  started to school again,
The bad dream of owing money to Along
is finally over. I am now a new man,
I still kept in touch with the people
who were into boating business.
We still talk over sessions of teh tarik..
Whenever I wanted to fish a bit,
I would call Farid..
and when he is unavailable..
I'd go with other friends
who are still in the business.

One day I got in touch with a guy who
occasionally goes to fish under the
Penang Bridge tru Forum. He dont know me,
to him, I'm just another guy who love to write
crap in the forum. I asked him about the red boat,
have he heard any rumors before..
it was told that the boat  was haunted
but who was the one telling them?

... and his answer shocked me. It was Farid..
It seems like once he was with Farid coming
back from his fishing spot. Farid told him
that people are seeing sirens swimming
right underneath the red boat. Ohh.. is this true?
Farid? the one I call my friend,
the one I thought got my back.

I then got curious and suspicious...
I called back the Along who lend me the money,
acting like I'm somebody else who look for Pocket
which is me. The Along told me that he got no
way of contacting Pocket, the pocket seems to
be changing his handphone too frequent. heheh yes I do!
but a dear friend of the Pocket can lead me to him..
'Lu tanya ini namber haa.. ini orang tau mana
itu jantan tak guna nama pocket tu duduk, lia 
lali dari gua 2 tahun woo!! haiyaaaa!!'
'Itu orang ada nama ka tauke?'
'Ini orang nama haa..aaa Falid! Falid!!'

ehh... ?
Farid was the one who told the 'Along'
about my whereabout? Farid was the one
who spread the haunted story?
No wonder he bought my boat...
I was an opponent to get rid of...
a rival to kill..

terasa sedih,
terasa buduh,
hati ni pedih,
hancur luluh,

Berkawan biar seribu,
kerna duit, tinggal selipat.
adik beradik jadi tak sebulu,
lagikan pula Ajnabi sepejabat.

There u go pocketeers,
A story about back stabbers.
Now let me remind u..
that this is a metaphoric story.
(Metaphoric as if i wanna tell my story
but I wanna keep the details off the net.)
There was no 'Along'
There was no siren
and certainly there was no red boat.
(Plus.. I dont fish)

But there was a broken heart,
that now learnt to trust no one no more.

Here u go Sis El-Janna...
a back stabber story from your request
here : BackStabbed

Saturday, January 28, 2012

515. TheRedBoat2

Sambungan dari previous post :
514. TheRedBoat

...and 2 years gone by just like how u
drink teh tarik, Its slow and sweet..
suam suam sauna till the last drop.
Farid started to 'not-showing' to work
a few days of the week. I asked him why,
he told me that he got himself a
new project. Ohh.. good for him,
wishing him the best in his project.
what ever it was...

Me on the other hand, life was getting hard.
The 'Along' whom I owed for 4Thousand ringgit
found me asking for his 12thousand ringgit...
additional 4k was for the bunga..
and another 4k was to pay for
the finders-fee they said.
Ohh they actually paid someone to find me?
waah i'm flattered!

My business was getting slow,
somehow all the people who wanted to
rent for boats starting to avoided me..
I dont know why, they just slowly goes on
to other tekong. The 'Along' Chalenge and
the customer depleting issues brought me
to one conclusion...I should end this before
I loss more.
The thought of selling my boat crosses my mind.

But somehow, all the other boater doesnt
want to buy my boat.. Later on i heard that
there were rumours about my boat is haunted.
people hearing weird sounds..
Sirens was seen following me when I'm on my boat...
Ohh.. where do they got that story?
they even saw a girl standing in front of
my boat once when I was coming back from
sending the night shift customer.
(This was true, she was my GF at that time..
we were on the sungai for a romantic tour
by the sunset! huiyooo!!
but I cant tell them this story right?)

I tried and tried to sell my boat,
even gone to the extend of offering half
the price of the usual boat.
But none were interested.
Then Farid came and he saved my life.
He bought the boat for 5K.
He kept on saying that he is helping a friend,
and a lot of work to be done to remove any
spirits that is haunting my boat.
Oh Farid, hang beletiaq macam pompuan la weh!
But at least I got some money,
its nutting much, but atleast paying
the 'Along' will not be that hard now.

And that was the point where I change
the route of my life and my dream...
from dreaming to be a tauke for boats
all around penang to become a blogger
who writes metaphoric story like this.
There was no boat..
There was no Sirens..
THere was no 'Along'
But there was a dream that was crushed
by an incident I cant escape.. Ohh..

xxxxxxxxxxxxx  Bersambung ke 516. The Final Red Boat  xxxxxxx

Friday, January 27, 2012

514. TheRedBoat

This was suppose to be a short story,
But I've lost my quota by my third point.
And so here i am elaborating it to 3 post.
A short story...
A Metaphoric story,
I was not into fishing,
I dont own a boat,
I did not sleep with the officials to get
along with my business. (Although I wish
that I am, considering she's comel enough
of course)

Right after my SPM, I got involved in
fishing business. 20K for a proper
floating vessels and a 30 horsepower
engine can do fine in the business of
bringing people into the mid of the sea.
Waiting for fishes to catch, Hoping that
they get the biggest catch there is to
brag with people by framing the photo onto
the living room wall.

You got to be good though, foreseeing what
fishes to look for, where to look for and
strategy to get those fishes.
Not to forget how to detect 'PakYa' (Buaya)
since 40% of the customer will be going
to fish for Udang Galah.

In the business, I got along with people
here and there, some were nice to me not
to forget those who envy me,
Well my boat is red.. but that was not the point.
My boat was better then theirs.
So I can go further.
Hence... a lot more customer calling in.
Usually its the tiang in penang bridge,
small small undisturbed island..
Muka Head or teluk bahang...
Plus, I can speak in english a lot better
then the other 'Tekong' back then.
So my target customer is a wee bit more
then theirs.
(Jadi belajo la cakap omputeh yer adik adik)

I got lonely though, no one want to be friends
with the new blood. I ate alone for the first
three month until I come to know Farid...
The guy from Bagan, a local guy who also own
his own boat. We were always together when we're
not bringing people to their fishing spot.
And when we do, we send our customer in the morning,
we got back to the port for lunch together..
Somehow we clicked like the battery cover clicking
to the back of your astro remote.
No rattle, no gap... just simply Clicked.

Most of the time we would go fishing both of us,
and during those fishing trip that we spill out
everything.  Its kinda inevitable actually,
two guys sitting alone waiting,
its nuttin much.
Our previous scandal..
My licence is already overdue,
but sleeping with the PIC made me tru.
His  regretted sin that he did back in
his younger days.
My debt with Along was the reason
I went on the hiding,
Cheat-trick in fishing location.
..and even stories about families.
Ohh.. the whole 1001 nights.

He was good to me, I got personal with him
to the extend of sleeping in his place
whenever I'm too tired to go back home.
His wife and son were also nice to me...
made me felt like I got myself a family.
Even if he was an ajnabi from work.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx  Bersambung ke 515. TheRedBoat2 xxxxxxxxxx

I guess that is it with us and work,
we start on a job... all lonely.
Looking for the one to 'Click'.
The work place seems friendlier right after,
and work would seems a lot easier then.
So good luck to the lady who got her job
in a logistic company recently. I hope u get
along with others well. Main baik baik tau!
jangan gaduh gaduh :D

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

513. Helplessly Lured

I got lucky to be able to dive into
the heart of a pencurik once.
His passion and addiction was
disturbing yet understandable.

The other day I got the chance to
listen to a lady who once fall for
her lady friend full heartedly inlove.
To the extend of crying over her
and jealous of her touching others.

The truth was rather interesting.
Am not saying that as I understood
them better that I am going to vote for
their freedom or anything...
Just saying that its inevitable.

Venusian speaks the venusian language,
We Martian can never understand this,
It was just recently that we understood
the word 'Fine!' in the end of discussion
actually meant
'shut-up!i have had enough of you'
But Venusian understand their fellow
venusian better then any being in this
world. So tell me?
Chances that a venusian would fall for
another venusian is a near sure thing no?

Girls seeking someone who listen,
and girls do listen with empathy,
men dont. We men tend to fix things,
U say that the trip was long,
we'll buy u a new faster car.
when u'r only wanting to share
your sadness for the day having
to travel all the kilometers...
So tell me pocketeers..
Chances of a girl to fall for
another girl is ...high no?

Girls seeking those that is beautiful,
and have to admit, girls usually are
beautiful. Clean and colorful
and men are... well... hummm...  not.

Just like what Rossa sang in that song
Hey Ladies :
'Memang tak semua laki laki busuk', 
she meant.. 90% of us are.
so girls falling for another girl?
is nearly inevitable no?

Now dont start talking about studies,
Belanja-Bijak or faithful... Statistically we are lost:D

So what keeps a girl from falling for
another girl? would only be the
pegangan agama.
And this lady who told me this story
able to say no to the forbidden love by
holding to her faith in god. For that
I truthfully admire her action of denying her 'GF'.

Its not easy.. I know.
Cause that love is near-pure love.
Its not about the sex..
its not about the money..
its about attention and affection.
its about honest touch, innocent cuddle
and great great kisses.
(We men tend to have the cigarrette smell hoh hooh)

Its not easy.. I know.
I have 3 samples all around me right now,
and they failed to resist.
one went all the way..
adopting a child to take care
like their own.. wah wah!

So there u go pocketeers,
I think its inevitable for such situation,
The "L.E.Z" word...
Its just we are blessed with religion, laws or guideline
that we have the weapon to prevent all of these.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

512. Dont Judge A Book...

...By Its Cover.

'... well lets see its content then' -Roxxane Richie
(From Megamind the Movie)

just now i've read a blog and the content triggered
something that I have thought about before.
(Aischa's Blog with her post ... here)
Its about people who wears
costume at recreational park.
Disney Land,
Universal Studio Singapore,
(In her case, it was the Melaka Wonderland)

yeah yeah, I know, but get into the spirit will ya!
we're here to have fun with the family,
why do we have to be bias or paranoid
about things like dat pocket!!

yes yes... but... imagine this pocketeers..
Inside those cute and cuddly Mickey Mouse costume,
there might be an old pakcik with peluh berkepam kepam
gigi rongak sambil dok senyum bila budak pompuan comel
dok gi peluk diorang. ohh..

Yes, Minnie Mouse should be a lady,
but who knows.. inside is a well built student boy
who works part time.. or imagine.. a guy like me
acting all cute and ladylike just because I was chosen
to wear the MinnieMouse that day.. Ohh...

Unless u'r trying to take picture with Princess Jasmine
like the one in the picture I got from Yahoo Imagess just now.
Yeah, Costume like that is acceptable.
cause u can still see the face underneath those thick make-up
(Eh! adik yang paling bawah kanan tu lawa kan..
any of u are like that? sila angkat tangan :D.....hehehe)

so pocketeers,
watch out for those costume people okeh.
those hands can get naughty sometime.:_D

Monday, January 23, 2012

511. Girl In Purple

vanessa hudgens is dang pretty no?
I went to see this movie the other day
just so that I can see her...
and I ended up not understanding
the whole movie because all I did
was looking at her.  ohh..

why is it that she had to be in that movie!!!?

now if anyone asked me why is it
that the 75inch HD Tv inside the
grandpa's house doesnt show anything
other then an errupting volcanoes
also i cant answer.

They've introuced her with that
hair moving slow motion gesture
like u see in Shampoo comercials,
they let her wear a purple inner
with white on top.
By mid of the movie,
they lose the white top!!
oh why oh why!!?

and dont let me start on the pants
she was wearing... its too dang low!
so low.. that when she had to tucked
in the purple inner when taking that
falling-shot... the whole picture
just doesnt work :D
(see.. I was looking too much at her
till I can realize that she tucked
the camy in during the falling-shot)
Kenapa masa ni tuck in?
adoh laaaaaaa...

ok in the end
the hero get to kiss the heroin.
that is it, the usual..
the father and son bonding finally
worked out.. ohh the usual..
not to forget, everybody wins..
the girl get to go to college,
the poor father finally able to afford for it,
the family seems happy...
the grandfather got his bike. :D

so people, go and see her..
she is definitely well worth paying
my RM11 for :D heheheheh

Friday, January 20, 2012

510. Bed Girl

...bukan bukan, 'BAD GIRL'

short post,
ever saw that miniseries 'Merlin'?
where king arthur is dang hensem
and merlin is.... young.

i like to watch that silly minisiries not because
of the story line or anything, but because of
this chick.

Before.. i didnt care much about her.
well she's just another damsel in distress
where the hero would always jump in the
line of fire to save her..
but it turned out that she became the evil
one in this minisiries and that is when i'm
starting to love this story.

Ohh she's so much better acting as the 'bad' one.
is it her face? or its just me?
i like the bad one.
sexy? nooo.. in this story most of their outfit
is robes and the best skin that u would get would
be the klivej.

ohh.. i dont know,
best if i admit that...
i just love the lady villain better then the heroin?

Thursday, January 19, 2012

509. Ripped

in my post 506. GemuruhJiwaaaa!!!
i have told u that i was stupid enough
to hit an innocent batu (More like a step)
 that made me do a double loop jump
to fall on my back bone washing away
my machoness right?
Yes i did.

And so there i was lying on my back,
hoping that people didnt see me,
i stand up and went ahead with the usual
Standard Operation Procedure u do after
u hit something and the bike is lying helplessly
on the floor.  Parked the EX5 properly..
and as quick as possible i went on into the 'kilang'
without looking right or left. Basically i was hoping
that no one would stop me and ask me what happened..
Cause the explanation would be an epic joke :D heheh

it was a normal day in the Production Floor,
so does in the office, i went on flirting, working,
yelling, cursing and even slamming the phone.
The usual stuff. At 930 i went on my break,
walk all the way from the store to the canteen
which is located in the other end of the building.
after i ate, i needed to go the loo.
And so i went.
Cutting this story short.. as i was going to wear
my pants again, i was shocked that there was 3 holes
to put in my leg. eh!! sejak bila plak aku ni berkaki tiga?
Oh no!! could it be!!
the accident earlier in the morning actually
ripped my pants nearly half way through!
The hole at the back side is as big as the
slot u put in your leg!! ooiihh!!

i wear it anyway, hoping that the opening is not that obvious.
ohh now that i know, no wonder today i felt slightly breezy
underneath!! ooiihh!!
Panic about this, i checked the situation
below in front of the mirror, the light blue shirt
tucked in underneath  is visible tru the opening!!
its that obvious!!
OK dont go mengarut asking me any other
color u can see from the opening.
am not going to answer u anyway..

what to do! what to do!!
after a bit of thinking and the staepler tricks
didnt work.. i pull all my strength to walk
anyway to the HR room and ask for Male Operators
Slack. It was a ridiculous trip,
stop and lean on the wall everytime there is
people passing by, run as fast as u can when
there's no one around.

and the mission accomplished.
i got my pants... ohh.. what a relieve.
i went on into the office and of course,
everybody started to ask why am i wearing
the odd color pants.
i told them what happened and everyone laughed.
ohh i was the joke of the day. what can i say..
i asked them,
'so guys..  no one noticed that the pants 
was half torn open at the back?'
'tak plak beb!'
'serious aku tak perasan'

half heartedly i am happy that people
are not noticing, but this also somewhat
makes me sad,

no one looked at my ponggong anymore..
ohh ohh..

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

508. WW: BesiYang Bengkok

A post related to the previous post : 506. GemuruhJiwaaaa!!!
Tengok la bengkok nya tuu!!
notice the brake pedal is no on top of the right foot rest.
terbang RM38 ku...

507. WW: Cakap Tak Serupa Bikin

Dey kata tak leh ada apa apa atas,
kamu tu duduk mana da kawan?

Jumpa kat kilang orang.
memang nak kena tarbi
orang yg prepare nii.. 

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

506. GemuruhJiwaaaa!!!


I came to work today, Happy.
The housemate cooked nasik goreng
and I ate like its my first nasik
for the week.
Got out of the house early, 624am..
waahh.. I dont have to twist the
accelerator to its maximum speed
today. 50km/j would be enough :D
(The maximum speed is 60km/j anyway)

And today was just like those days
where I am blessed with green lights
all the way. And just like what
i've wrote previously,
423. TigaEkorGagak...
I think today its going to be an easy,
hassle free, not to forget lucky day.
Waah... cant wait to see who's going
to smile at me today :D

As I was heading towards the employee's
motorcycle parking lot, slowing more
and more as i am reaching pedestrian area.
Parking lot was also filled with
empty spaces, hey I am lucky today..
Or at least I thought it was.

but then I took a right turn
a little bit too senget, I got scared
so I step on the brake pedal with my right
foot. Pushing the brake pedal while u'r
senget to the right would cause disaster.
The brake pedal hit a step near the parking lot.
THe hit was quite hard, sending me off balance,
crash landed to lay my back on the floor.
20% pain, 80% shame.
Can I just sleep here and act like
I got into a coma? I dont think I can face
people after that silly hit I just did to my self.

so there it goes pocketeers,
the 12green-lights-will-bring-luck
theory is not true at all.

The beloved EX5 broke a bit
the brake pedal bent.
I am scratched here and there,
My harga diri just went down a notch.

Duit duit!!
dimana kau duuuiiittt..
duit duit!!

Why the title is gemuruh jiwa u may ask?
Well i got this habit of putting all my 
post related to any crash i got myself 
into with the title 'Gemuruh jiwa'
A few more of my Gemuruh Jiwa series :

Saturday, January 14, 2012

505. Perasan Tak?

Perasan tak?
(A post derived from sis Hanie&Jue's blog.
The two headed dragon yang cantik lagi penyayang..
<-Ayat bodek.. tuan punya badan sila perasan)

Perasan tak?
... cleaner pompuan pun buleh jer masuk toilet lelaki..
yes memang la makcik cleaner tu tak la comel mana,
tp still seorang pompuan.
kalau ada yang ber'taste' pelik acaner?
Kalau ada cleaner yang comel bak selena gomez acaner?

Perasan tak?
... yang Facebook settings untuk wall kita tu
di'set'kan ke semua orang buleh tengok?
biarpun bukan rakan.
bahaya ni ok..
boss kat ofis buleh tengok,
(Aiii.. update mase ofis?)
bonda buleh tengok,
(Aiii.. kata tak buleh balik kampung
pasal keja.. ni apa gambar kat pangkor
nii? ngan awek lain plak tu!
menantu aku mana!!)

Perasan tak?
... yang restoran vegetarian utk melayu tak der?
jangan kata restoran! menu vegetarian pun tak der.
cuba sebut lauk nak makan ngan nasik yg vegetarian?
abih malay tak leh vegetarian ker?
 yes understandable that it is not malay culture
to be vegetarian, sayur masak ayaq tu pun kita
taruk udang kecik kecik, taufu sambal pung ada
udang kering.
kira tak der pasaran ker?

Perasan tak?
... yang ayam KFC yang diengineered lagi
dimasak ngan penuh teknologi dan temperature
kontrol tu sama jer harga ngan ayam kat
restoran nasik campur?
ayam goreng kat restoran berapa?
RM3? RM3.5?
Kat kedah maybe buleh dpt lg RM2.5 or RM2
tu tak leh kira lah kan..
cer sebut kat KL sana berapa rega?
Kat KFC? 2ketul ayam RM6.70

kedai mamak sure lagi badabomm :D

Perasan tak?

Friday, January 13, 2012

504. OutOfOrder

Darjah empat,
malam tu pocket gi masjid,
semayang terawikh,
ngan kain pelikat,
baju melayu n songkok.
imej mesti mau jaga..
kami bukan macam bebudak lain yang
sampai kat masjid, kain pelikat terus
terselak dan suar pendet ngan t shirt
tu la dok jadi jersi untuk berlari
sana sini melastik cicak or bermain
bunga api. tak.. kami bukan begitu,
kami lebih kepada menunjuk baik moga
adik adik comel lg anak ustazah
tersangkut. hahahahah

pocket semayang lapan rakaat.
baru nak masuk semilan, terasa
plak perut ni meragam..
adehh... samting wrong ngan santan
dalam cendol tadi.. sakit tu mula terasa..
Pocket angkat tangan masa semua orang
ruku', 'tok imam.. saya nak gi toilet jap!'
tak der orang reply, diorang terus sujud.
so pocket meninggalkan saf dan menuju ke toilet.

sampai toilet,
pocket nampak sorang lelaki baru kuar..
ohh dah abih dah la kot. Harap dia tak
tinggal bom.
Pocket masuk dlm toilet tu dan ada dua
jer jamban, satu ada papan tanda ..
'out of order'
satu lagi separuh terbuka.
aaah tetap dah pakcik tadi masuk sini
punyer... so pocket mengendah kan air
yang dok bertakung kat lantai tu dan
menapak jgak la ke jamban tu.

Dipendekkan cerita, pocket dah
pun dalam posisi yang sepatutnya..
output pun dah ada sikit,
sikit jer lagi kot.. eeewwwwuuuu!
kain pelikat digantung di penyangkut
kat pintu. tengah dok layan tu,
dok tak dok dengar bunyi macam
orang melepaskan nafas yang berat...
'sssssssss' gitu gitu... aaa seram dah.
lepas tu terdengar la bunyi yang sejenak
terpikir, betapa bagusnya kalau telinga
punya kelopak buleh tutup tutup macam
kelopak mata.

bunyitu menyeramkan sangat..
bunyi macam orang merintih kesedihan pun ada..
gitu gitu bunyiknya...
apa lagi.. basuh tak basuh,
pocket sarung dulu kain pelikat tu,
kita langkah seribu dulu. Tapi masa panik
tu lah tak nampak mana 'punca' kat kain pelikat
tu.. tapi nak kira apa 'punca' ker apa..
kita hantam lari ja dulu,
tengkuk dah mula meremang...

bunyi tu kuar lagi ..
kali ni panjang tapi berturutan macam
morse code pun ada gak..
'eeiihhh.. eeeiihhhh.. eeeeiiihhhh'

eh mana plak sendal pintu nyer nii!!
sendal  mudah pun dah tak reti nak bukak!!
Bunyi tu bergema dalam bilik air tu..
pocket serious dah cuak dah..
lantak la hantu aper pun..
camana ruper nyer pun..
takkan ku toleh punya
hatta turns out ada toyol comel
bertenggek kat belakang paip tu
pun pocket tetap cuak nak lari...

bang!! pintu tu pocket tendang
pasal tak tau nak usahakan 'sendal' mudah tu..
plastik tu pecah berderai..
pocket lari berdesup ke pintu toilet utama...

masa tu lah pocket terdengar bunyi
yang finale untuk pocket malam tu,

'eeeiiihhhhh.. adeh deh deh..
adeh laa adeh... sakitnyaaaaa..
sssssss.. adeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhh'

hehehehe, pakcik kalau dah berumur tu,
sila jangan minum milo sangat tau..
nanti 'Output' jadi keras .. heheh:)
Kuuuusss semangat.
kang camana nak membasuh tu nanti pung
pocket tak tau.. dah la 'out of order'
dah toilet tu. heheheh ingatkan diri ni
dah emergency dah, ada yg lagi emergency.
masuk balik.. basuh!!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

503. Mungkinkah...

...TNB berpakat ngan electrical appliances
manufacturer dalam malaysia untuk meningkat
watt usage nya supaya TNB buleh dapat
untung lebih?
Sama macam si tukang-tayar dok tabur paku
di jalan untuk pancitkan tayar motor.
Supaya dia yang ada disitu
boleh membaikinya...

oh kejam.

...orang yang memancing tu
jutawan jutawan belaka?
dah tu buleh jer diorang gi
spend masa untuk benda yang
hanya 15% jer kemungkinan
untuk mendapat hasil.
Kalau tak kaya meliyana dah...
takkan nak pegi wat bebenda
sebegitu kan? heheh:D

Nafsu dibekalkan kekal dalam diri ini.
biarpun dah kawin ker dah bercinta ker..
tua kedii sikit lagi nak mampus pun
tetap nafsu teringin nak tengok
kaki adik itu or klivej kakak itu
tetap ada.. so!!

...kahwin tu pengundang masaalah?
dah kawin kalu tak leh dah
pandang pandang or pegang pegang.
kalau gi pandang jgak,  ada yang meradang.
kalau gi pegang jgak, kena tendang.

jangan kata yang sengaja,
yang nampak macam terpandang pun dicincang,
yang dengar katanya 'memegang' plak laaagi
la disiang siang.

dah tu? kalau tak kahwin,
(Atau tak berhubungan)
tak der la yang meradang,
kena tendang, kena cincang
lagi disiang siang... kan?
heheheh :D

ohh mungkinkah?

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

502. WW: Kita bako jer!

Lama tak post.
rindu kamu, kamu dan juga kamu...
post pertama selepas menghilang.
Simple WW nak mengembalikan semangat:D

Balik keja,
Bila kita tengok asap dikaki langit,
pernah terasa risau tak?
terpikir balik strika tak tutup ker?
tak pun masak pagi tadi api masih

Pocket? Yer...

Sunday, January 08, 2012

501. KuakLentang! KuakLentang!

terasa plak idup ni macam sungai.
kita dok menongkah arus cabaran idup.
ada yang pandai berenang...
senang jer nak ngelak kayu timbul,
yang tak pandai berenang..
rantin datang jer luka.
batu golek sikit.. luka.
Luka yang serious kalu,
terus tenggelam n mati.

Ada yang naik bot!!
tak aci! kita dok bepeluh peluh tetiap ari
ngan skill berenang yang tak hebat mana ni...
dia pakai tekan button jer.
salahkan bapak pocket kerana bukan
bill gates :D Oh tapi tak gak!
ada yang pakai bot sebab usaha sendiri!

Ada yang pakai bot besar,
ada gak yg bot kecik.. sampan.
still jeles. sebab kayu hanyut datang..
langsung tak kena siot!!
mana nak pergi pun senang,
terasa nak amik buah kat sini situ,
tolak jer handle, sampai lah.
Bot diorang pun ada hiasan..
ok lah kan.. bot dia buleh bawak semua
sekali. hatta keter 3 bijik pun buleh
angkut. apa la sangat.
Kita ni.. buleh tarik apa yang perlu jer.
Terasa beban sikit, kena buang,
duit lektrik pun dok tepuk dahi.
nak beli keter?

yang laki bini,
dok berenang bersama.
kalau dua dua reti berenang.. ok lah,
mudah la sikit nak menuju sungai sungai
lain yang lebih tenang arusnya.
Kurang kayu hanyutnya..

Yang bini tak reti berenang..
laki jer dok kayuh.. penat gak woo!!
tapi banyak yang tak reti berenang
pun... kewujudan nya menambah semangat
si tukang kayuh... ok jer tarik sorang2
terasaa happy jer :D

yang bini dok kayuh,
laki plak dok tarik dari
belakang lagi kesian.. ooi!!
tak reti berenang pun..
tolak tolak sikit ngan
kaki tu buleh dak?
oh adik,
tendang jer mamat tu!

humm.. hidup bagaikan menongkah arus,
nak ajak kamu berenang bersama..
buleh tak?

Saturday, January 07, 2012

500. Baca Ker Tak Nii?

post pendek...
ari sabtu, suma orang nak jalan jalan...
maner ada masa nak baca karangan panjang panjang.
Baca karangan? macam la selama ni ada orang baca
pun? Eh takk.. somehow pocket rase most of the
people who commented in myblog actually read tru
and comment. Thank you!

Kita buleh tahuu. Nak lari mana kan..
tapi kalau tak baca pun tak per.. nak wat camana.
maksudnya pocket kena improve lagi lah penulisan
pocket kan:D bagi catchy sikit, plus..
kalau ada yg tak baca tp still nak komen tu
pun kira bagus lah jugak kan :D
kira macam teguran dari stranger...
'Cantik baju'.. walhal kita baru jer balik
dari mancing dengan berlumus lumus nya

Tapi berhati hati,
kalau setakat nak komen kat blog
n nak mengharapkan kunjungan balas..
zaman sekarang dah tak jalan dah.

pasal kalau terbukti kita sekadar mengiklankan
icon or link, nampak sangat komen general...
orang dah tak nak gi sangat dah.
maybe kalau icon tu comel sangat baru lah nak
kunjung balas kot.. tp kalau setakat gambar
ibu jari kaki.... tak yah la.

Plus.. siap ada blogger yg tegur lagi.
'Kamu tak baca kan?'

.....Kepada empunya nama..
Pocket padam dah! padam dah!! :D
sorry kalau terganggu ketenteraman minda kamu sekejap ok..

pergh! yang ni agak menakutkan gak!
terpikir plak.. pocket camner?
pocket pun pernah ker komen kat
blog korang tapi obviously tak baca
karangan korang?

err.. mari kita baca karangan orang yer..
or improve the scanning skill yang membolehkan
kamu komen something seems honest even if
u never read his/her post.
(Yang ni pocket masih lg gagal,
ends up baca jer ngan penuh penghayatan
lagi intonasi dan background music)

happy weekend pocketeers,
do tell me if the BBQ ends up hangit or not :D

Friday, January 06, 2012

499. Stro


Kita selalu heran kan orang mengamok.
kenapa dia melenting sangat?
aku cuma wat lawak pasal dia
makan coklat ditengah ari jer poon..
kenapa marah mengamok sampai
nak baling baling staepler?

Kita selalu heran kan suami isteri yg gaduh.
Kesian kat laki dia, tak talipon pasal lambat
balik pun bini dia mintak cerai? ada laki lain

Kita selalu heran pasangan yang tak jadi.
bercinta dah 4 tahun.
Best couple among us.
lovey dovey tak hengat!
wit berlambak lambak dah abis
utk maintain hubungan tu,
let it be jauh dekat..
let it be sibuk lapang.
last last pasal cik abang tak datang
dating pasal jam, cik adik tu ajak break
ngan alasan.. dalam mata mamat
tu tak der pun dia di masa depan.
oh lantak la apa pun maksud ayat tu.
pocket tak paham.

Kenapa yer? benda simple jer..
tapi pencetus kemusnahan.
well the answer is here ...
Mr G punyer ayat ni..
(Of course la english idioms kan..
tp pasal MrG yg bg pocket tahu..
so the credit is to him)

'The Straw That Broke The Camels Back'

Wikipedia link nya sini.
Macam yang kita tahu, unta digunakan utk bawak
barang yg banyak masa mengembara kat tanah arab.
kiranya sikit lagi lori tayar 8 lah ni, setakat pashmina
600 helai tu, sebelah jer dia bawak.. sebelah lagi buleh
jer taruk jeans siam lagi 80pasang! :D

Patah wei!! patah la satgi.. adeehhhh!!!

so dalam idiom ni dikatakan unta tu dok bawak 'straw'
Dey!! bukan stro yg guna utk minum kat MekDi tu lah!
'straw' ni jerami tuu.
so kalau pun unta tu buleh bawak seberat mana pung,
jerami terakhir yang ringan tak patut tu pun, buleh mematah
kan pinggang makhluk Allah tu.
Ayat ni nak bagitau kater..
Beban terakhir tu ringan jer..
tapi beban terakhir tu lah yg
mematah kan pinggang cik unta
kita pasal... dah banyak sangat
beban dok tanggung boss.
banyak sangat dah..
banyak sangat dah.....

Untuk yang mengamok baling staepler tuu...
-banyak sangat dah yang kamu wat kurang ajar beb,
ayat last ko pasal makan coklat ditengah hari tu memang
yang terakhir yg buleh aku sabor kan... coklat tu la
lunch aku, penat tau tak nak buat keja, nak kena marah
ngan boss lagi... ko buleh persoalkan aku makan coklat
biarpun bukan masa break aku? nak hamik kau,
staepler jer aku baling ke kening kiri kamu.
Nasib baik kena... nasib baik kena..

Untuk si isteri yang mintak cerai tuu....
-Ima sabar banyak dah ngan perangai abang yang
selalu balik lambat, selalu tak kisah pasal anak anak..
katanya anak anak pesan nasik goreng, abang gi
menyembang sampai dinner diorang sampai umah
kul 11 malam! bebudak tu tido dalam kelaparan tahu tak!!
Kalau Ima ada kat umah, dari pagi lagi Ima masakkan
samting tapi Ima kena outstation!! kesian la kat anak anak!
tu tak yah kira la ngan panggilan talipon asing yang
tak perlu Ima bincangkan lagi, ngan mak abang yang
tak suka kan karier ima lagi, beli umah dekat pun salah.
nak pindah gi dok singapore tak bagi pulak..
so malam ni abang gi maner tadi? kenapa tak jawab talipon?

Untuk CikAdik yang ajak break tuu..
-Our future was never mentioned in our conversations,
u took the job at JB, i tot we're going to stay in KL?
I wanted to buy a car, and u said to go on..
what about the wedding.. are we ever having any?
even after all these years of being together,
never once that u've introduced me as your future
companion in life to your father and mother.. what
wat that about? Are we really having something here?
or u'r trying to keep your option open?

'The Straw That Broke The Camels Back'

Thursday, January 05, 2012

498. HangIngat HangSapa?


i was on my motorcycle one day and i felt
the buzz in my left breast.
Eh tak! i dont have any breast ... yet.
felt the buzz in my left shirt pocket
and it turned out that the buzzing
was actually my handphone vibrating.

1 SMS.
it was from Farid.
'Chish! Dgr dgr lagu 'jars of heart' 
(CHristina Perry) ni terasa cam si'dia' 
yg dulu nyanyikan plak. Adehh. Sakit ati 
ni terasa berdarah'

...was the message.

Ohh Farid what have u done?
knowing Farid the guy who once accompanied
me on our quest to look for half eaten karipap
inside the tong sampah back in MRSM beseri.
The guy who run melodramatically towards his
mother across the field with open arms and
smiling faces like in dramas...
just to stop and puke in the middle of the field
from exaustion. He never made it to his mother.
The whole scene was an epic failure.
hahahah adehlaaa...

Knowing that Farid, I know who si'dia' that he
mentioned about. It was Ima...

Lyric and real life just collide here..
She could not approach him back..
Cause she know she'll regret it.
She was tormented with him leaving her.
and now Farid wanted her one more time.

adehla Farid, yang terlepas tu biorkan lah..
jangan di usahakan lagiii..

Yes, Farid did asked me,
do I know the where about of Ima,
Told him I dont know, go to her FB la
Farid.. she's smiling just like always.
she's stronger now, not like the cute, honest,
naive girl u use to trick and flirt.

Ohh.. I downloaded the song and listened to
it word by word.. Yes. I can see her face
singing her heart to u Farid.
u deserve the pain. Heheheh...

Am putting the lyric down below.
Just for u guys who dont know the song.
I guess that is how they do songs kan...
Its either the writer wrote it from
his or her own experience.

Or simply its a common
storyline for a lovestory to end.
Either way, am loving this song.
and imagining her singing under the limelight ...
with Farid sitting on the only seat in the hall.

Hang ingat hang sapa?:D

"Jar Of Hearts"

No, I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time


Dear, It took so long just to feel all right
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all


Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

497. Hate It When....


... we hate it when people hurt us tru words and cynical banter,
but we still cant let go of social network like FB, Blog, MultyLevelMarketing..
Those are the jungle of thorns people, it'll prick your heart wide open.

... we hate it when people judge us as sloppy, irresponsible or dirtyminded,
but we still appear infront of people without the shirt tucked in,
forgotten to bring your own IC when u'r going for interviews and
flirt with the interviewer.

... we luv to get the traffic up, but we never bother to BW.
heheheh (Kena atas batang idung sndiri)

... we luv people to comment sincerely in our blog,
but we never read people's post all the way tru.

... we hate it when the GF seems not thoroughly trusting us,
but we are the one who keep the mystery tempting.
Handphone with passwords and silent mode,
2 hours of missing in action and obvious made up stories.

... we wanted to post a story, but we never bother to type them.
ooiihh, ko ingat buleh tumpah sendiri ker idea tu dari otak ni?

496. Lured


I know a guy who are so into fishing.
He cant be contacted during most weekends.
if he is not in his fishing trips, he'll
be with his family.. looking for fishing spots.
He got about 12 fishing rods. The major one.
And a few more of the minor one.
There is a full set ready to go in the trunk
of his car just in case he come across a puddle
of ikan puyu.

Three sets of stories to fill in 1001malam of fishing story.
If the king got bored with the first set,
the bride can tell the other two.

700 lures!! which is averagely cost at 15 ringgit
per piece. Of course there were those of 4 ringgit
per piece... and there is also those that cost
70ringgit per piece.
Some of them imported directly
from the land of uncle sam.

I asked him, what is so interesting about
going to rural area or paying for a boat to
bring u to a fishing spot out there in the sea
just for u to sit down and wait for fish to eat
your lure?

And he started his speech like poet who
have lived 300 years talking about life.
'Its not about the fish, its about the ...'
ohh i dont have to bore u about his poetic
explanation do i?
Bottom line is, he luved it.
He's poetic about it.
There is strategy in fishing.
There is 'life' in fishing.
Fishing Men are guys who can keep his anger down.
...and a whole of a lot other thing.

and his final conclusion was the nicest.
'..and i am proud to be good in something i luv'
Ohh.. he even have the gut to say that he is good!!

are u good in something?
hell... ask me now,
i dont think i can answer u.
good in english? naaawwwhhhh,
look up there, i'd say u can find
20 grammatical mistake right away!
Good in flirting?
I've flirted with 8 girls in my whole life,
and 4 of them i've got to hold hands,
4 ajer? hek enneeeee
aquarium? i own a 2 feeter.
in aquarium world, that is like a jogger who
just bought his first shoe laces.

now i ask u...
are u good in something?

Dont u wanna be? atleast one...
the one to be proud of...
the one your son could be proud of..
My mother is an excellent baker!
My father is a great rock climber!
i know bashtiah would say..
'My mother is a great swimmer and
the best swimming instructor'
good for her.
What about u pocketeers? Anything?

ohh.. am I intimidated with 2012?

Monday, January 02, 2012

495. Lipat!Lipat! Pak!! Lipat!!

Pelipat... (Apooo la kena mengena kan adehlaaa)

i've once wanted to write something dangerous,
dangerous in reading material could be a few type..
its either sexy, religiously contradict, satanic, political
or judgemental.
I have let a friend read it and ask him his opinion.
Farid said, writing stuff like that would make people
change their perspective towards the writer.

According to him, if there are people who actually adore
the writer as if the writer is a good person, or a good believer,
an obedient son. By writing as such would definitely
change their perspective. He no longer be the good guy
everyone thought he is. The obedient follower he always preached about.
He's just like those hypocrite writer who shout..
!jangan pangkah alipmimnunwau!!', but still
be happy with the facilities provided.

Yes I agreed with him and let that post
chained and crying alone in my rib cage,

Today, I wanna post one that may
change your perspective about me.
My excuse would be that usually
I do keep this well mantained.
but the day this happened.
I did not,
I slipped,
I failed,
so dont think less of me.
its a one time mistake okeh!

Some of u know that I went to DermaDarah
on the last day of 2011, sat on the stool just
like everybody else letting them poke my finger
for a drip of blood to test the blood platelet.
I wanted to do the joke ...
'darah apa?'
'darah bangsawan'
but i could not, since the doctor didnt even asked.
She saw A+ on the red book i handed earlier.

It happened when the nurse was going
to poke my right 'pelipat' for the blood taking.
(Pelipat : the other side of the 'Siku')
She took a cloth with alcohol on it
to sterilize the 'pelipat' surface,
(Doctor Dhiya sila bagi tau untuk apa
diorang lap guna alkohol tu sebelum cucuk)
She wipe the 'pelipat' surface and the 'daki'
from my yesterday's jogging and a whole day
of working in the kitchen came off.
The daki was so thick that she needed
three sets of cloth with alcohol to wipe them off.
Ohh malunya..

Everytime she wiped, the cloth would stain heavily.
The best description would be like a white
t shirt with wilsmis faces printed on it as the stain.
Here I am smiling awkwardly.
The nurse didnt say a word, she just poked
the big diameter needle into me and let the blood flow.
I checked my other 'pelipat' and found it was clean.
Oh yes i did wash thoroughly during my daily mandi,
but i guess that morning I missed a spot.
and the spot was the one the nurse had to put her
attention to. adohlaaa... malu sepasal ngan nurse comel.

so words to other penderma darah,
make sure u clean the spot they poke.
it'll be sure damn memalukan if it was with
daki melekkit setebal keju dlm big mac.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

494. Kahwin Tahun Ni Jom!

in my line of work,
we PLAN for an improvement,
and we DO the plan
we CHECK.. if this is working...
if not, we request for ACTION.
Its basically what they call as PDCA...
Click for a good informative readings.. below are
just my version of 'informative-Reading' heheheh.

so pocketeers, dont let the resolution stays inside
your mind. Let it run in the living room shouting
'i am free!! i am real!! i am for goooooodddd!!'
like those small chicken little.

Start out by listing the goals pocketeers..
-Be kurus a bit more.. (this is like all to common already right?)
-Buy that dream house..
-Jalan Jalan Singapore?
-Marry Yusry... (Oh but i tot he is taken?)
-BMW? Sha oh Sha.... your aim is too high.
-Kissing a blogger?
(here i am claiming that i am too a blogger ^^)
-Derma Darah!!

So how to get there?
-Buy a jogging shoes.. or that SenamRobik CD :D
-How much does the house and the BMW cost?
With 200 ringgit a month, It'll be 2017 just to pay
for the down payment ohh.. tukar rancangan lain lah!
-Singapore? Air Asia is cheap already..
or u can always go by bus :D
-Yusry? so think.. how to eliminate kak lisa?
hummmm.. stab? frame? u know u cant beat her
in beauty...

Make a timing plan.. a realistic target of when to get what
-AirAsia ticket to be purchase by May for a trip in Nov.
-90Kg by March, 80Kg by June, 75Kg by September...
-err.. sharpen your knife and stalk her by February..?
Ohh how dark your mind is pocket!!

U start by implementing whatever that you've plan.
According to the timing plan...
-Jogging? Macam la pocket ada masa sangat kan..
Senam robik? seriously look ridiculous if anyone
would see u doing it, unless if u have a room all
for yourself :D
- by June we'll have to keep atleast RM1ooo
so that we can get RM2000 by the day of the
trip to Singapore :D .. Cook people, no more eating
out... Vinci shoes instead of Prada okeh!!
-DermaDarah, open up the weekend for any plans
for March.. June.. September.. and December.
i guess that is all about derma darah..
-So now that KakLisa is out of the picture by April,
u have to get into the picture by May... let AbangYusry
merana sekejap sebulan.. takkan nak terus masuk jarum

If any of your plans is not working according to the
timing plan,
-Pocket is not 85kg by April,
-KakLisa is still happily running with AbangYus
along TamanTasikPerdana..
-RM1000 is still not accumulated by June.
Merlion is fading away.. ohhhhh.

Then its time for u to do ACTION
-Buy a diet tea instead hahahah:D
-Oh admit it, KakLisa is far too cute for u 'cut',
u cant do it. Let the pro do it instead.
Look for 'Hire-Assassin' in the YellowPages ^^
-Duit tak terkumpul? KadKredit? Oh jangaaaannn!!
ok then, Maggi dua bulan? <- yang ni buleh:D

and hopefully u'll achieve your goals for 2012.
so where is that pen and paper?...
I wish u a happy new year,
Hope u get what u want.
Resolution is not for u to talk about but do nothing about..

PS: by the end of this post i've just realize.
THis post is not for u guys, its for me.. oh