535. Tikam

...check check balik..
alamaaak bulan ni short lagi,
bebaru ni naik gaji tapi still tak cukup.
Semua benda dah dibuang ke laut dah,
akuarium,
fishing,
res moto,
barangan lektrik yang telebih lebih watt..
sumanya nak mengurangkan number kat
ruangan 'keluar' dalam kira kira akaun pocket, tapii...
adohlaaa...
nak mengaku pun rasa tak nak tapi tahu kenapa.
tak nak mengaku pun memang lintahnya disitu!!
'Farid...RM400'

Yes pocket pernah tanya kat Farid, sampai bila?
'tapi pocket.. ko kena paham, untuk nak bagi plan 
menikam boss kita ari tu menjadi, aku kena berenti 
keja tanpa dapat keja tempat lain dulu. yes plan ko tu 
memang menjadi, tak der orang suspect kita.. 
n boss kita tu pun dah mampus dah jadi hantu
 kat simpang tu, bini dia tak der kubur nak melawat 
pagi raya la kiranya.. plan kita menjadi...' 
farid menyedut rokok murahan nya sambil
 memandang saki baki kepulan asap yang
tak abis ditiup angin lagi tu.

'...tapi aku la pulak jadi mangsa, ko dah senang ngan keja ko..
 aku ni dok keja cuci RnR. aku tak mintak banyak pon!! 
sebanyak mana gaji aku yang less dari gaji aku dulu jer..
 RM400, sampai aku dapat keja lain ko support la aku dulu... '
Sambung Farid.

iyer.. memang ada betulnya apa kata farid tu,
tapi menengokkan shopping farid, tak macam dia sengsara pun.
Sport Rim baru..
Samsung Tablet..
konsert avril dia pegi gak!
n bila tengok cara dia gi keja tu,
tak macam dia cari keja baru pun..
happy semacaaam jer..
siap dapat awek steady kat situ lagi..
terasa macam diambil kesempatan.
terasa macam ditipu..
Dah setahun dah,
takkan tak dapat keja lagi?
ko cari ker tak nii!!

haaaaiiishhhhh.. kena cari jalan nih,
tapi nak wat camana yer?
takkan nak tikam Farid plak?
tapi kalau tak tikam dia,
nak wat camana lagi kan?
tpt keja baru dah propose tiga kali dah,
jangan kata berminat..
pegi interview pun tidak!

kena tikam jugak kaaaaaaaaa...
ala apa la sangat. ari tu bos kitorang tu pun
Aku n Farid plan punya bagus gak..
dah setahun setengah dah, angin pun tak der.
kali ni kita call Profesional,
taruk satu bullet kat dahi Farid..
bior dia tahu.. ini Pocket lah!!


********************Bersambung*********************


tak tak! pocket tak tikam orang aih!!
dalam otak jer dok imagine sndiri,
tp takkan la sampai tak beriman sangat
nak tikam orang kan...
Semata mata citer dari lubuk ati pocket jer.

499. Stro

Pocketeers,

Kita selalu heran kan orang mengamok.
kenapa dia melenting sangat?
aku cuma wat lawak pasal dia
makan coklat ditengah ari jer poon..
kenapa marah mengamok sampai
nak baling baling staepler?

Kita selalu heran kan suami isteri yg gaduh.
Kesian kat laki dia, tak talipon pasal lambat
balik pun bini dia mintak cerai? ada laki lain
kot?

Kita selalu heran pasangan yang tak jadi.
bercinta dah 4 tahun.
Best couple among us.
lovey dovey tak hengat!
wit berlambak lambak dah abis
utk maintain hubungan tu,
let it be jauh dekat..
let it be sibuk lapang.
last last pasal cik abang tak datang
dating pasal jam, cik adik tu ajak break
ngan alasan.. dalam mata mamat
tu tak der pun dia di masa depan.
oh lantak la apa pun maksud ayat tu.
pocket tak paham.

Kenapa yer? benda simple jer..
tapi pencetus kemusnahan.
well the answer is here ...
Mr G punyer ayat ni..
(Of course la english idioms kan..
tp pasal MrG yg bg pocket tahu..
so the credit is to him)


'The Straw That Broke The Camels Back'

Wikipedia link nya sini.
Macam yang kita tahu, unta digunakan utk bawak
barang yg banyak masa mengembara kat tanah arab.
kiranya sikit lagi lori tayar 8 lah ni, setakat pashmina
600 helai tu, sebelah jer dia bawak.. sebelah lagi buleh
jer taruk jeans siam lagi 80pasang! :D

Patah wei!! patah la satgi.. adeehhhh!!!

so dalam idiom ni dikatakan unta tu dok bawak 'straw'
Dey!! bukan stro yg guna utk minum kat MekDi tu lah!
'straw' ni jerami tuu.
so kalau pun unta tu buleh bawak seberat mana pung,
jerami terakhir yang ringan tak patut tu pun, buleh mematah
kan pinggang makhluk Allah tu.
Ayat ni nak bagitau kater..
Beban terakhir tu ringan jer..
tapi beban terakhir tu lah yg
mematah kan pinggang cik unta
kita pasal... dah banyak sangat
beban dok tanggung boss.
banyak sangat dah..
banyak sangat dah.....

Untuk yang mengamok baling staepler tuu...
-banyak sangat dah yang kamu wat kurang ajar beb,
ayat last ko pasal makan coklat ditengah hari tu memang
yang terakhir yg buleh aku sabor kan... coklat tu la
lunch aku, penat tau tak nak buat keja, nak kena marah
ngan boss lagi... ko buleh persoalkan aku makan coklat
biarpun bukan masa break aku? nak hamik kau,
staepler jer aku baling ke kening kiri kamu.
Nasib baik kena... nasib baik kena..

Untuk si isteri yang mintak cerai tuu....
-Ima sabar banyak dah ngan perangai abang yang
selalu balik lambat, selalu tak kisah pasal anak anak..
katanya anak anak pesan nasik goreng, abang gi
menyembang sampai dinner diorang sampai umah
kul 11 malam! bebudak tu tido dalam kelaparan tahu tak!!
Kalau Ima ada kat umah, dari pagi lagi Ima masakkan
samting tapi Ima kena outstation!! kesian la kat anak anak!
tu tak yah kira la ngan panggilan talipon asing yang
tak perlu Ima bincangkan lagi, ngan mak abang yang
tak suka kan karier ima lagi, beli umah dekat pun salah.
nak pindah gi dok singapore tak bagi pulak..
so malam ni abang gi maner tadi? kenapa tak jawab talipon?

Untuk CikAdik yang ajak break tuu..
-Our future was never mentioned in our conversations,
u took the job at JB, i tot we're going to stay in KL?
I wanted to buy a car, and u said to go on..
what about the wedding.. are we ever having any?
even after all these years of being together,
never once that u've introduced me as your future
companion in life to your father and mother.. what
wat that about? Are we really having something here?
or u'r trying to keep your option open?
.
.
.
.

'The Straw That Broke The Camels Back'

433. Teloq Hang!!

Farid smiling to himself as he walks home from pasar malam,
today he bought a slightly bigger eggs for the family,
Its nuttin much actually, the usual eggs he bought
for the family is those that sells for 260 per ten pcs.
Today he bought a slightly bigger one. 350per ten pcs.
His son's birthday is around the corner.
Bet this eggs would taste better in cakes.

Today he sold off his cendawan a bit more than usual
hence the extra money for the eggs. He started to notice
the big changes in his life after he quit smoking, extra
cash to buy popia basah for the wife and a whole chicken
instead of the usual half chicken he use to supply to his freezer.

'assalamualaikum'
After a while he heard foot steps stomping
the papan floor squeaking here and there..
'waalaikumsalam, abang dah balik,
awi dok main tunggu abang tadi,
dia tidoq dah. banyak jual ari ni bang?'
'habih! nii haa abang bli teloq'
'la teloq hari tu ada lagi.. eh popiaaa!!'
'heheh' farid is smiling from ear to ear,

he knows his wife Ima luv popia basah..
its nice to see her face shining with
happiness. Even if its just for 3 nights
per week. The pasar malam night
'bagi ima basuh teloq ni dulu sat na'
as ima finishes off washing the eggs,
she let it dry and arranging it nicely
in the eggs compartment inside the fridge.
And then she noticed..

'Eh besaq nya teloq?' the usual eggs falls
right down on the trays floor. This one floats.
'abang bli yg besaq sikit, buleh buat kek untuk awi'
'la selama ni abang duk beli yang kecik saja ka?'
farid hugs his wife from behind as she is
comparing from today's eggs and the one
from last week.


He couldnt face her,
hoping his hug can tell her something.
'hooh' a feeling of shame sinks in,
disgusted with his poverty.
'so selama ni dok kata duit habih,
tapi dok beli teloq murahan,
lebihnya dok simpan buat apa!?
abang duk melencong ke mana?
baik abang cakap!'
she turned around to face him,
one slap to the shoulder
'orang suruh beli teloq..
dok isap rokok lah tu!?
yang abang selalu beli tu berapa?
yang ni berapa? jangan nak tipu ima,
ima tau la! abang isap rokok lagi kan?




loh! kesitu plak?
Have pity for me sayang,
for i am just in love with u,
Forgive me sayang, for these two hands
earns only this much,
Believe in me sayang,
i'll even stop breathing for u,
Have faith in me sayang,
we'll work things out for awi...








...was one of the story a friend told me.
sedih kan.. life is hard people, maybe
not for us, but sure is for others ^^

322. Firwan the Wanderer

Pocketeers,
in my stories i often use names as actual person name.
they're merely character just to make my story more lively.

Farid: a common name for a man, any man..
Ima : a common name for a lady, any lady...
Pocket : well the writer of course...
Mr G : pocket's direct supervisor...
Mr Big: pocket's big boss...

so today i'm going to introduce u to another character.
hopefully he will be just as interesting as others.

His name is firwan. Now now..
u know that this name is not even existed right?
i just made it up.. his real name is short and less
fancy name.. a more malay name, like dollah, samad or ali.

So Firwan is a guy who wanders alot. he think too much.
i dont think he took science or mathematics in his SPM
because he is more to sastera... the guy who are good with words.
he doesnt speak like all of us, u know...
when i wanna say 'your idea most likely is not appropriate wit the girls'
i'll say it like this 'idea hang tak sesuai ngan depa kooot'
but Firwan will say it like this ...
'aku rasa cadangan hang tu berkemungkinan besar
tidak selari dengan pandangan para gadis sekalian'

long and winding with imbuhan here and there,
sound like your Bahasa Melayu teacher spoke
when he's trying to make a point.

Cutting the story short ...
today Firwan made a sound...
'Gadis tu bagaikan hiasan utama siTuan rumah,
Membelinya senang, menjaganya yang susah,
dan akhirnya terabai dan berhabuk, jatuh dan pecah,
untuk diganti baru siTuan Rumah...'

oi oi!! bukan senang nak ganti baru ooiii...
nak melepaskan 'hiasan' tu banyak procedure woooo!!

happy holiday everyone...
i'm stuck at cleaning :(