259.Dikasihani...

post pendek untuk ujung minggu,
rasanya cam tak nak post dah,
tp cerita cerita pendek cenggini tak
rasa sesuai utk dibaca anda pagi isnin...
pocket post jgak... :D

jumaat kot, gi makan kedai mamak.
amik lauk kambin sahaja... tak nak lauk lain,
sebab kang banyak lauk sangat tak leh konsentret,
n makan mamak nih, tak perlu lauk manyak manyak..
lainla kalau makan chinese kan... (Lauk la plak kena banyak.. nasik tak yah kan)
so pocket pun beratur n bawak la nasi tu ke meja,

'apa minum?'
'tapa tapa..' adalah jawapan ku kerana nak menyahut
kempen minum 40 tapak pas makan dinner.(Ataupun 20 minit)
'apa minum?' org lain datang plak lagi, sebab tak der cawan disisiku kan...
'tapa tapa..' adalah jawapan ku jugak, sebab katanya minum pas 20 minit
tu buleh bagi sihat badan.

'apa minum?' orang ketiga datang tanya lagi,
'tapa tapa..' masih lagi jawapan ku kerana katanya minum pas 40 tapak
buleh jadi 'tahan' lama...(Betulkah?)

mamat yg terakhir besh...
dia just datang n bawak segelas air ..
'tapa tapa.. on the house' adalah jawapan dia bila ku
kipaskan tangan ku gesturing a sign of denial.

kalau ada customer makan,
tp tak der minuman tu nanti dicop pekerja malas tak gi tanya.
mungkin diorang takut kena marah...

kalau aku tercekik n tegolek dog sebab tak der air kang...
menyusah kan diorang jgak nak mengangkat 'daging' ini
(golek jeeee)

ker? aku dikasihani? 'ala mamat tu ada duit cukup nak makan nasi jer, teh ais pun tak mampu... bagi la ayaq kosong kat dia.'
gitu?
somehow rasa tak besh bila dikasihani...
dikasihani di tempat yg tak perlu...
dikasihani di kala yg tak perlu...

adehlaaaaaaa...so!!!
buat baik berpada pada, buat jahat jangan sekali, kesian kan orang tu baik bertanya, kang tak pasal jer dimaki nanti:D

yeaaa!! happy weekend pocketeers!!
dont drink and drive^^

258. Advice from...

...above
the other day i went for a lunch session wit farid and he was gatal enough
to invite a lady friend who are fairly symmetry for u to fall for but about
a quarter of enjelinaJoli's beauty. Ok basically she didnt attract me much
at the beginning but my perception changes after. Lets call her ima shall we?

We arrived at nando's and ordered, standard personal menu which will be
the quarter chicken with chips and coleslaw, ima ordered the same.

Before my chicken arrives to our table, we talked.
Ima was a good entertainer I would say, she talk intelligently even with a guy
dat have an IQ of a toad like me. Which I've appreciated so much .. so much..
and then, the chicken that was suppose to be alive a few days earlier was lay
dead in front of us.(ala bagitau jer la makanan dah sampai.. madah pulak!!)
I was fascinated with Ima's gesture of enjoying her food upon arrival,
She was observing the coordination first and then she make a joke about the
'Not-So-Brave' flag they planted onto her chicken. We laughed again...
Good laugh, great company.

She cut small portion of chicken, (Dont have to open up wide maybe?)
carefully thrust the fork so that no meat will be hanging,
(Not to drop off and look ridiculous maybe?)
and put it into her mouth using her teeth as a stopper
to pull the meat in. (Lipstick concern maybe?)
Just as I was beginning to adored her ...
Hell break loose...

She talked with her mouth full!! for some, u might say that its not that bad..
Some english oriented people would tell their children not to but i dont think
my mother ever warned me on the matter ever.
Its not that bad isnt it? Well that was when i am wrong.

Your pronunciation come out differently when u have
the small bones of chicken wing coming out of your mouth.
'ho pohet, hah begapa lamha keha sihu?'
(So pocket, dah berapa lama keja situ?)
The person in front of u would definitely be seeing what
is it inside your mouth if u are laughing hard.
I mean honestly, that was the first time i've felt that girls doing
their girly chuckle with hands covering the lips is not that gedik.
I was the witness of what have become to a piece of chicken
thigh half chewed mix with red coloured sauce on someone's lidah!!
That was the time when she laugh and open it wide like what u do
when u'r seing your dentist. wow!! Imagine that pocketeers.
Now i dont have to describe what happen to potato chips mixed with coleslaw rite^^;

Regardless of the grotesque view i'm witnessing,
I didnt tell her bout the 'dont talk with your mouth full' nasihat.
It kinda struck me differently... she was sent by god not for me
to give her advice, but as an advice to me.
So that i wont be doing the same after.
So that i'll be watching where do i put my food
if i have to answer before swallowing.
Hid it in between the side teeth and cheek lah...
So that i have a story to post today. (Oooiiihhh!!)
Will I be asking her to join any lunch or dinner session again in the future?
Owh.. I definitely will, as a reminder for me.
Not to talk with my mouth full

Pocketeers, ever noticed how u eat? humm hummm^^

257. Hurt

It was saturday, and the whole department was hollow.
THere was three inspectors (Ladies) and three of us men
who sits in front of the comp pretending to work.

i'm sorry for blaming u
for everything i just couldnt do
and i've hurt myself by hurting u

it was christina Aguilera - hurt on the radio dat day,
hearing it illigally tru my CheapMP3 player.
i got a thing with this song,. it was once in my playlist of
my MP3 player back in those days i was going up and
down susur keluar Gurun and Sg2. Just me my Ex5 and Christina.

SOme days i fell broke inside but i wont admit
sometimes i just wanna hide because its u i miss
and its so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this... ooohhhh...

i dont know why i luved this song, use to sing along..
maybe when it was me, my ex5, the road and christina
her voice was poured into my brain putting vibration in my pulse,
till the heart skipped a beat,
like it was suppose to be dum dum dum dum,
but with her... its dum dum dadum dadum dum, or something.

Would u tell me i was wrong?
would u help me understand?
are u looking down upon me?
are u proud of who i am?
There's nothing i wouldnt do to have just one more chance
to look into your eyes and see u looking back.

..... and pok!! there's a loud pat on the back of my head.
'Ouch!! aduilaaa' took off the earphone and...
'OOiiii!! dah la sunyi sepi la ni, hang pi nyanyi lagu cam ni plak!!
nyanyi bebetui tak pa la jgak, jantan nyanyi ngan falsetto note
tak seshuai la bodoh!!' it was wahid..

inspector tadi duk berdekatan sumanya...
Memandang kearah pocket cam orang yang risaukan
pesakit epilepsi.
seram sejuk sangat ker ? malunyaaaaa adeh !!
siap si adik adik inspector kater pocket cam kena rasuk lagi
alahaiiii... pocket nyanyi tanpa disedari?
n buruk sangat lah kiranya nyanyi falsetto tu?
come to think of it.. mungkin jgak.^^
malunyaaaa adeh!

256. Glad Am A Man...

I was checking my mails,
lots of mails,
some of em are work related,
most of em are junk heheh
from those junk mail was with this pic attached.
The title was 'no comment'
Oh but i do! and i'm sharing my comment here in my post :D

looking at this pic makes me think that living as girls are hard!
now i dont have to list down here the usual stuff girls have to
think before going out for a date,
Tudong,
baju and a seluar to match that wit,
or a skirt for what it may,
colour, fabric, kesesuaian...
some may even have to think about
the theme of the day.. waah!!

not only dat, u girls even have to shave your back!?
mak oih!! some men doesnt even care about his facial hair,
let alone his chest hair.. and back hair!!? to tell u the truth,
i never knew it existed. hahahah
Yeah, the situation above may only be only for those days at
the beach. but still u'r doing it, and we men ... not.
(some of us dont even care about nostrils)

and for that i salute u,
go on living in beauty sis,
and i shall not complaints no more even if u ever
took more then 2 hours getting prepare for
your usual beauty paegents with me on the side.
(Basically for girls, walking in the open is like walking
on the runway all posh and beauty without the attitude)

i'll just make sure u have 2 hour of free time before the appointment.heheheh:D

Mondays light and easy post :D
Happy monday people!!

255.Artificial Love...

'waaah dah besaq dah anak hang no.. kakak dah darjah berapa?'
'kakak dah darjah pat, adik ni baru tadika ngan pra tadika..
alhamdulillaahhh buleh la mak teh, besaq lebaq dah depa nii:)'
'humph! hang tengok! elok pun hang ngan anak anak hang
makan pakai terjaga, nasib baik mak ngah hang ada.. kalau tak..
entah bawah titi mana hang duk tidoq la ni'
'eh, mak teh?'
'hang la dulu tergila gila sangat nak kan si ucop tu,
mak hang la yang pi jumpa mak ngah hang...
bagi hang meluat kat si ucop tu, kena pulak si farid ni
dah memang bujang telajak.. depa bagi la hang bekenan kat farid niiii'
'abang?' Looking at his husband with muka kelat.
'laaa mak teh, tak yah bincang dah kot kisah lalu nii'
'Baguih apa, bagi dia tau sikit, kalau tak pasai mak ngah dia...
tak merasa dia naik kereta besaq, mak ngah hang bukannya
buat pakai setan ka apa, pakai ayat quran juga'

...was the awkward situation i was lucky enough to witness.
The wife was devastated and cried on the spot, woman always
despise lies, even if it was for their own good.

The husband didnt do anything, he must be either too numb
or simply stupid... hug her laaaa!!

Mak teh? well she kept on playing with the kids there...
they're laughing at her betel eating custom and she
entertained them by giving pinang.

I wonder how would one should react in such a situation,
the point where she realized that the luv and affection towards
her husband have a kemenyan and sirih wit spells underneath,
a luv potion instead of true luv.
a lie.

How would u take it?
what do u do after?

just let it be, its a story dat happen ten years ago!
(Some people is less recognizable after ten years!)
or...

u kept on wondering
'i wonder how would it be if...' and
'maybe it is not too late for me to..'
Hummmmmmmm...

254. Infatuation...

waaah!! finished watching ghost season one!!
that's 10 series altogether,
4 clips of averagely 12 mega each...
makes it 480 mega, waaaahhhhh!!
then its somewhat 0.5gig!!
peh:D

40 minute per series (Without iklan!! yeaaa!!)
that's 400 minute people!!
now i will definitely be seing hallucination of some
small frame girl sexy in her own tanned skin.
after watching all the series, i come to realize that ...
1) Cheryl Samad is daaaaannnnggggg chomeyl heheh:)
2) Ghost have mass (The car actually sink down a little when zack imran boards it)
3) Ghost can choose what to touch, and what not to.
4) Nice to have an invincible friend. If the friend can actually hold a vdo camera, i can make money people!! heheheheh.
5) Slapping a ghost actually sends the message.
6) Ladies... u gals can actually shed tears just by the touch of the button!! wonder of human ha?
7) Never ever trust a man who say 'trust me'
cause a man who u can really trust dont have to say it.
8) yes, people drink and even if they dont show it in TV... people still drinks
But still.. showing it in Primetime drama gives the bad influence to kids.
well, what ever it is, enjoyed the show and definitely
am forgetting those little silly details that can spoil my mood:)
happy monday people,
kalau malas keja, sila ke 8tv.com and tgk drama :D

253. Cingapore

Previouc poct was commented by Cik Dee that it ic better to replace the 'S' wit 'C' inctead, come to think of it, ya lah!! replacing it as cuch will make my centence more comel gitu:)
macam...
'kakak kakak! caya nak makan echkrim catu bleh?'
heheheh (Bweeeelllkkkk!!!!)

Cingapore is nice if u are a fan of huge cructure, the
building there ic rediculoucly beautiful and produced in cuch a way dat would attract any
bypaccer. Luv it much:)












makan la udang ni, dihidangkan cejuk tp racanya dah di kukuc dah kot. badan nyer jer buleh makan, kepalanya tu langcung
tak dak ici. patahkan n buang kulit. huhuu!! ici padat beb!! gout la pakcik :(
(Capa capa tau nama apa udang ni?)










N kalau dah kat cingapore tu.. ketaaaammm!!!
ada la duk cembang blackpepper crab tu capa punya, cingapore ker?
malaycia punyer?' China mainland punyer kot!?'
pocket bagi jawapan menyerkap. Tak, katanya.. kat mainland tak
der blackpepper, only white pepper. loh yer ker?
and it ceems like they're actually looking for a cerious colution in
determining who own blackpepper crab? till macuk curat kabar bagai...
loh, tak der benda lain dah ker nak gaduh?

anyway.. i ate this whole pinggan and three more...
patut la raca recdung ni makin gataaaaal jer..

cashimi, raw fish and much more for 38cingDollar,
what do u think?
I hated it, its because dinner are cuppoce to be time
to talk with memberc of the table. How can u talk when
everyone kept on walking in and out getting the food?
hoh!!

I wac watching thic lady on my back to Penang,
she was ucing an Iphone, love it how she browce
at the vdo and photo of friendc ...
Tgk I phone dier jer tau,
kept on thinking how i wanted to buy mycelf one:(
Tak mampuuuuuu!!!!!

252. *ingapore...

just now i've just announced that i'm hating the 'S' alphabet
for the whole week in Hemy Poxt :
Hahahaha!!!!! Wowww..I like sarimahhhh~~~
and therefore i will not be uxing that alphabet thix whole week.
fair enough? i'll replace it with X inxtead... xince the xound ix xomewhat
the xame.

laxt year, i did poxt a review of the AJL with the large 'S' alphabet on it.
142. Faizal Tahir
But yesterday i didnt even watched Faizal Tahir performance xinging
bencinta with his crooked knee. Dozed off and the TV ended up watching me.

xekali faizal tahir kalah la plak!! laaa weeiii!! camana buleh kalah plak nii!?
lagu aizat tu kontroverxial jer poon!! manader xedap xangat pun kan!?
but then again it wax baxe on the whole year verdict, jadi pocket terpakxa terima.

lagi xatu xebab kenapa pocket akan membenci hurup 'S' adalah kerana ...
pocket kena gi xingapore besok till khamix. boriiiinnnngggg!!!

kenapa owh kenapa!! tak nak gi buleh tak!?
(Tak tak, xebenarnya pocket nak gi,
buleh dalamkan lagi pengalaman dalam
plating technology)

jadi pocketeerx xekalian, akan kembali by khamix..
memoga ada manyak cerita terkarang by then:D
till then pocketeerx.. tata!!

251. Do u stand in queue?

... to board the bus?

Once sha did post a question about whether to ask your
BF or the competitor about any doubtful event suggesting
him playing the three sticks.
when one stick is lonely,
two sticks is perfect,
and three is ... well naughty.
sha: beeless bee orchid.

and most people who commented said that its best to ask
your BF instead of the third person, who would be the girl
of course, if its another man than just let your BF be, he's gay...
now i think this is a templated answer
(sila berhati hati, ayat cari gaduh akan keluar.. maafkan kecabulan pocket)
Cause if anyone ask u 'do u stand in queue to board the bus'
and u'll definitely answer 'yes we do!!' but in reality... u dont.

so ask your BF u say?
i think otherwise, do not ask your BF,
ask the competitor instead...

u found an SMS that smells fishy, talking about
a fishing trip this saturday when your BF/Hubby
insisted that he's working, u call the number...

if she know that she's playing with fire, (Meaning that she know farid is married)
she'll give u back what u deserve
(but she'll be filled with lies from your BF
and u may not deserve the allegation)
"u kater i nak amik farid dari u!? u tak pernah amik tau
pasal dia pun u nak bising apaa!! u tak pernah tau pun
problem dia lagi nak bising ngan i, i'm the future u'r the
past... get that in your thick skull byotch"
and now u know that your BF is actually not even worth it.
He's a lying prick who tells bad things bout u....

If she dont know that farid is taken, she'll just say sorry and let u be,
'oh sorry kak, dia yg datang ajak sayer .. sy tak tau dia
dah married.. tak per saya janji tak kan layan dia lagi'
Or not, cause she may try to get farid regardless.
'ok ok,can i call u later?... tuuuutttt tuuuuttttt'
Then u'll know that farid is gatal n trying to look for a one
night stand... just to make life interesting.

Cause asking him would be pointless and non-conclusive
act. he'll pusing pusing to the sky and then down to the
core of the earth taking a few turns in KLCC before he
gets to the point.
'alaaa, u ingat kan ari tu i ada pergi bisnes trip ngan mr
tan kan, dia nak bawak i gi mancing niii.. its nothing la
sayang, Kadie Chia ni Mr Tan punyer secretary nii, yes
memang la SMS dia bahasa melayu n she refers me as
'abang' but u know lah kan, she's 23!! takkan dia nak
panggil i pakcik plak kan, u jangan risau lah, i ngan dia
tak der paper!!'

and u know the saying,
air mata senjata wanita...
air liur senjata lelaki...
its not that we're going to spit at people or something but
we can talk like bringing the dead from the grave is a
possible thing to do:)

so there it is, ask the competitor instead,
u'll get the best answer there and not in the BF
Atleast both of the person in the conversation is a venusian
heheheheh
i know i'll get a different opinion in this post but that is what i think... :)
(Seriously takut nak baca komen komen pihak tuan nanti..)
i wonder if he's a blogger friend who u've never even met,
his wife called u to know u... how would u answer?
(Betcha she'll believe u more then she would believe her BF)

250. Babiiiiii!!!

...was the same title that Cheryna Pirez used when she was also posting
about this same menu:)... Escargo, it was somewhere in october
orchid's Cafe: Babii..

today i've went to this restaurant ere in Seberang Prai dat serves this menu,
i did hesitate, but since chics did mentioned that she had this menu in her
post : Siri Dinner bersama cik vampire
so i tot it wont be that revolting to eat this right?

ordered and waited...
as this menu arrived i couldnt believe the 'hiasan'
alamak aih real nyer macam yg duk melata kat umah aku tuu!!
but Miss Cheryna Pirez did mentioned that it was not common snails,
but its the snails that is breed for this purpose, so i just used he clipper
provided and dig in,

Its dip in a garlic sauce with cheese flavour in it, its yellow and i think they
torched to top layer for that hangit flavour.

the flesh was a bit soft and tangy, but with a texture of liver. dusty..
(I dont know how to explain it but that's about the way i tasted)

The person who sits in front of me went out for a while saying that she
have something to get from the car, although i definitely think she just
dont wanna see me digging the snail.. heheheh, understandable :D

well that is about all the thing i can say about this menu,
other then the taste was not that bad, i think if they put it
in nasi goreng, definitely no one would even bother to ask
what it was... but we malay will always find that babi is still babi:D
regardless of the name is just name and it got no relation whatsoever
with the actual babi.

do u know that in stesen viktoria, they dont show out loud in their
walls the halal certificate?

do u know that halal certificate comes in different clause?
halal for the chicken, halal for the beef, halal for this particular drink,
and so on...

do u know that eating t bone steak and then 5 piece of EsCargot and then
add in another half of Sirloin with apple juice can make a full grown man
to puke and vomit all the above? well not all, but most of it :( hummm hummm

249. WrongTiming

owh!! i've missed the moment!
i was going to post this whole karangan sedih about 2009,
the whole painful memories, things i've 'ngacum'ed
about people are always bad to me and how the world is unfair....
not to forget about all those crazy ideas and thoughts.

and of course.. a happy and outgoing kinda karangan of
what i'm going to do 2010, the same thing actually...
getting the car, getting the credit paid off,
from a hundred two kilos to reduce till seventy two,
well u would've know... the whole blogging community
are doing it.

so to post about an out of date karangan,
would be tactless :) and wrong dont u think?

talk about wrong timing,
i am having a series of wrong timing event that i'm regretting. Who's not? :)
-adding a few people in me facebook,
-following a few blog,
-saying i was wrong and i'm sorry when i'm suppose to,
-realising that cheryl samad from 8tv ghost is totally my type
and to start downloading all the 8tv catch up tv now is painfully
......................................................long.
So here i am,
posting my first post for 2010 like i should be
and i'm not saying anything about azam or memoirs
(Post tutor yg lepas tu tak der bau pun cam post tahun baru and sebutan nyer is memowars)
wrong timing pocket,
how i hope my timing was better,
i hope 2010 will be the best timing for me to 'evolve'

ok, downloaded third episodes of season one:)
next is fourth and maybe i'll go to fifth!! :D yeaaaa!!!

248. DrawingPocket

for those who stalks me from the verybeginning,

they'll realize that i've been using those kinda tajuk
for quite sometime.. a tajuk that have 'Pocket' word in it:D
sesekali guna balik ok appaaaaa!!

pocketeers,
In the post: 243. Something that got to do with ladder
a few of u asked 'how did u draw?'
well here it is the best way i can explain...:D

Tapi kan, malu la yang amat nak citer sebenornyer,
pasal tak guna alat alat yg canggih pon, guna excell jeerr..
belajo dari kakak yang buat SOP kat kilang lama.
N for pocket to teach u all who are well verse in excell,
is a bit memalukan.
'elleeeh macam ni jee!? pak aku masa jadi clerk utk
komandan jpung dulu pun tau!!' U might say..
but, still pocket nak bagitau jgak... so here it goes,


1) Mula mula buka Excell anda.. klik kat bawah kiri yg tertulis
'AutoShapes' ni kat sini. Kalau tak der click Alt+v(View) , t (Toolbars)
and click at Drawing with the right hand waived strongly while you shout
'drawing!!!' cam power ranger tu.. kalau tak , tak keluar woo:D

2) Then click application kat sini and amik aplikasi 'freeform' mcm dlm gambo.


3) Left click lah tiga kali membentuk segitiga.
bila segitiga anda sudah tegap melekap gitu..
4) Layangkan mouse anda atas segitiga tu n right click, pilih 'edit points'
titik itam akan muncul di ujung setiap corner cam gambar dibawah,


5) Layangkan mouse anda atas titik itam di salah satu penjuru, right click n comes a list of option that u can do which is :
-add point (Nak tambah point itam tu kat tetengah line)
-delete point (Nak delete point itam tu lah kan)
-open path (Nak bukak segitiga kita tadi)
-auto point (Yg ni pocket tak pernah explore plak)
-smooth point (utk point yg curve nyer lembut jer)
-straight point (Beza sikit dr smoothpoint, next karangan pocket citer)
-corner point (Utk point yg bersudut tajam)

6) 'corner point' kat sini dan dua titik puteh ni akan keluar.

7) amik titik puteh ni n gerakkan secukup rasa.
ikut suka ati korang lah nak gerakkan kemana pun.
8) delete satu titik dari segitiga anda dan... gunakan langkah 5) tadi

9) 'corner-point' kan satu titek lagi tu...
dan gerakkan secukup rasa jgak:D

then pandai pandai korang lah nak wat bentuk luv tu,
bentuk luv kat kedah maybe different from bentuk luv
kat terengganu so sila ikut cinta sendiri.

bila bentuk luv anda dah menjadi ..


10) click atas objek anda dan Ctrl C...
bukak paint and Ctrl V... (Basically copy n paste)

dpt la bentuk tadi dlm format JPEG.. gitu jer la sekian:D
senang kan? senang sangat pastinya korang rasa hampa baca panjang2

nak edit kaler? haaa.. yg ni pocket kena sediakan
karangan tujuh petala langit lagi :D heheheh

Selamat mencuba yer pocketeers!!:)

Tips of the day:
1- line tu buleh ditebalkan, be creative and explore the possibility yourself would ya:)
2- simple is the best, why 4 dot to make a shape when only 3 is enough:D