161. MedicalJoke

Last Tuesday i had a hard time in the morning,
Morning sickness? no, a friend sent me below
jokes and i was laughing till i suffocate myself.
Just wanted to share with u all to set u up for
your weekend mode:)
Keja? apa kelaaassss ^^
1. A man comes into the ER and yells,
"My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!"
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab,
Lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off
her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there
were several cabs---and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
(Hahahah, agak agak kena penendang tak DrMakMekdonal ni? heheheh)
2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a
stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf
female patient's anterior chest wall.
"Big breaths," I instructed.
"Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA
('yes, i bet they were... now take a deep breath please' would be my respond if i was DrRichard)
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news
when I told a Wife that her husband had died
of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later,
I heard her reporting to the rest
of the family that he had died of a
"massive internal fart".
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
(Kentut Dalaman yang...? massive tu apo yek dlm bahasa mlayunyer?)
4. During a patient's two week follow-up
appointment with his cardiologist,
he informed me, his doctor, that he was having
trouble with one of his medications.
"Which one?" I asked.
"The patch, the Nurse told me to put on
a new one every six hours and now I'm
running out of places to put it!"
I had him quickly undress and discovered
what I hoped I wouldn't see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
The instructions now include removal of the
old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA
(Pocket tingatkan afdlin shauki ngan citer buli nyer masa kna patuk ayam^^ heheheh)
5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?"
After a look of complete confusion she answered
"Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis , OR
(Heheheh, yg ni pocket tak reti nak komen... heheheh, gelak jer gelak jer)
6. I was performing rounds at the hospital
one morning and while checking up on a woman I asked,
"So how's your breakfast this morning?"
"It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly.
I can't seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced
a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI
(Couldnt get this one, anyone from hospital?)
7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk,
sporting a variety of tattoos,
and wearing strange clothing, entered.
It was quickly determined that the patient had
acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for
immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed
on the operating table, the staff noticed that her
pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there
was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass. "
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote
a short note on the patient's dressing, which said,
"Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
Submitted by RN no name
(I'll definitely try to leave a patch or two just to keep the grass... go green!!!)
Disclaimer: pocket tak menulis joke diatas,
pastinya ada kutu mana mana yg rajin amik
dr majalah riedes daijes ker, taim ker, mana2 la
kan, dan antar kat kawan buat junk mail...
dan jadi chain of junk mail.
Tp menarik utk buat iburan utk kakak skalian
baca masa kami gi smayang jumaat:)

and not to forget... happy weekend pocketeers..